DEBBI IS A PUNK
I'm going to tell you something that you probably didn't know. Not many people are aware of this, but deep, DEEP down... Debbi is a punk. I kid you not. Of course I'm sure the majority of you don't even know who Debbi is, so I'll show you.
She doesn't look like much of a punk rocker, does she? But trust me, somewhere inside there is a part of her that is dying to mosh and yell like a barbaric fool.
Lets look at some of Debbi's stats:
1.) She works at Subway. Fast food is a common job among teenagers of all walks of life, so nothing abnormal here.
2.) She has freckles.
3.) One of her eyes is kind of squinty.
4.) She gets very ticklish when Dave rubs his butt against her.
5.) She wears Old Navy crap.
AH-HA! So, how could she be a punk if she wears Old Navy? Hmmmm? What does Dan The Man have to say about that?
Yo sucka, that ain't cool.
That's right: THAT AIN'T COOL. But, Debbi claims, and I qoute, "Old Navy is cheap, nice clothes... and Jeff is cool." And with a statement like that, you know that she can't possibly be lying. Can't you see? The punk within is just waiting to burst out!
There's still not enough evidence though. But I can testify to an eye witness account. At Cornerstone Debbi wore baggy jeans. Gasp! More importantly, they looked normal on her. That's right, it's true, baggy jeans on Debbi looked... cool. Now I know anyone can put baggy jeans on and it doesn't make them automatically a punk. But imagine your mom in baggy jeans. Chances are, your mom is no punk rocker. You'd look at her, fall on the floor and start laughing. But with Debbi, wearing those baggy jeans was just a sneak peek at the punk within.
Now I know what you're thinking right now: "Jeff is cool." and then after you think about my coolness long enough, you'll think, "Jeff, you bozo, we need more hardcore proof!" and to that I say "Who you callin a bozo? I have more proof!"
Look at this: at first it may seem like a normal picture of young Debbi, but if you look real close you will notice she has a scar on one of her legs. So what does that mean? Think about it! What are punks notorious for? Thaaaat's right! Falling down and hurting themselves. This just proves that punk life is in Debbi's blood!
This ape has no significance at all to the topic, I just think it's funny.
So, in closing, I think it's pretty much a closed case: Debbi is just a punk deep down inside and I encourage her to let that punk out.
But wait a second, what would an article such as this be without a poorly edited picture showing the world exactly what punk Debbi would look like? Not a very good article. So here you go... just lay the curser over the pic of Debbi and she'll turn into Punk Rawker Debbi:
Hmmmm... you know what, maybe she's fine the way she is now....
