Shaneinterview

He's Canadian and he's coming to a store near you. He's the almighty Kamakazi Canadian. Who else could I be talking about but the one, the only, Shane Simpson. It's all just a myth that Canadians have big beady eyes and flappy heads. I got the chance to meet a Canadian for the first time in my life. Simpson is on a very courageous journey, suffering many hardships along the way. He was raised in a small town outside Winipeg, Ontario. He learnt how to survive with what he had. Then one day news came that he would have to leave all that behind. He was forced from his home-land to come to a place he had never heard of before, a place called New Zealand. For many Canadians, New Zealand is just south of Australia, you can swim there if you really want to. Shane had to learn to survive in a different way now, in a land where people are mad about Rugby, not the traditional ice hockey. But I caught up with Shane last week and interviewed him on his views and how kind the world has been to him.

Me: I've had a look at your website, The Disgruntled Jester. How do u come up wit a name like that?
Shane: It came from a idea I had for the formal this year that, if I couldn't get a date, not very likely, but if I couldn't, I'd go as a Jester.
Me: So is that a warning to anybody to ask you out to the formal?
Shane: Well ... What do you think?

Me: So what's the deal wit this business?
Shane: Well it comes from an idea for a newsletter I had.
Me: Memo or Statement?
Shane: Life Statement ... Yeah definatly Life Statement.
Me: So this is about you? And the real Shane Simpson?
Shane: Yes, basically, my entire site will be propaganda to aid my cause to take over the world
Me: And is that smart telling me about it?
Shane: Quite possibly not, but you could figure in my plans in the future.

Me: So all the rumors that Rafik is fat. True or False?
Shane: I can neither confirm or deny those rumors but sources tell me that yes he is indeed fat.
Me: But you just confirmed it.
Shane: My sources tell me he is fat. In my experts opinions, not mine, yes he is fat.

Me: You've managed to find yourself a couple of jobs what do u do?
Shane: I'm a proud milkie in the Maori Hill district, I also work in the Willowbank Dairy.
Me: Quite an impressive resume you have. At this dairy there are rumors being spread that u sell cold pies.
Shane: Oh that is ... umm somebody was training that day and forgot to turn the pie warmer on.
Me: Sure that trainee wasn't you?
Shane: I'm sure because I didn't get there till two. But remember if u do get a cold pie don't throw it at the dairy go in and ask for it to be reheated or ask for another one.

Me: Ive heard that you have come across some illegal betting scams lately?
Shane: Yes that's very true we're tailing them very closely.

Me: I hear that you have a fanclub.
Shane: Yes my fanclub isn't up at the moment but will be soon.

Me: So what gives u that determination to come out here from Canada and try to make a living?
Shane: They made me do it.
Me: So it wasn't your decision?
Shane: No, but I'm planning on going back in the future.

Me: All in all this interview has gone well and I'd like to thank Shane for taking time out to answer all these important questions needed to be answered. Would u like to say anything to your fans?
Shane: Keep up the good work, come to my website, you can find a link on Jon's page if not I'll kick his ass, sign the guest book and I'll sign you up to my fan club. I'd like to personally thank all of my fans and Rafik is pretty damn fat.