choking

Step 1. Determine the cause of the choking. Is some sort of food lodged in the victim's throat? Are your hands or arms constricting the victim's windpipe? If the latter proves true, relax your hold on the victim to prevent suffocation.

The Golden Rule : The golden rule of choking victims is this: Only idiots don't know how to swallow food. Examine the choking person and determine if they are an idiot or not. If not, then they are not choking. If they do not appear to be an idiot, but do appear to be choking, then they are an idiot and you must remember the old adage about a wolf in sheeps clothing. If they are an idiot think quickly about whether you should spare them or not. Perhaps if they are dumb enough after you save them they will buy you a pony and a giant castle. If they are not rich, perhaps they will become your slave. Decide whether you want sombody that dumb to be your slave...

The other Step 1. Be careful when giving the Heimlich. As with any action, if performed incorrectly or unneccesarily, the Heimlich Manuever can cause bodily harm.

Step 2. Ask the victim, "Are you choking?" If they do not answer, remember the second rule number one and ascertain whether the person is breathing or not. This is no time to rush and forget the possible ramifications of mis-action.

Step3. If they are choking, they will not be able to talk. So, if they answer you never trust the person again. If they remain speechless, wait until they make the international sign for "Choking" by crossing their hands on their throat. If they do not remeber to do such, there was no way you could help them.

Step 4. Extract the victim's wallet from their back pocket or purse. Look for identification for the EMT's when they arrive. Place ID on the body.