The FINAL INSULT! Price: 22 cents, 3 bottle caps and some good pigeon feathers
(this is a production of the Pointless Productions INC tm)
1. What's your greeting?
a) Beautiful day isn't it? b) Top O' the morning to ya! c) Get the HELL outta my way!
2. Is it over yet?
a) is what over? b) I'll have one more please! c) darn tootin'! d) only on Tuesdays and the Thursday part of Saturday e) thank you sir can I have another?
3. Look ma! No hands!
a) I surrender! b) Look ma! No feet! c) want me to do it blindfolded too? d) there are too many of them!
4. Is it ok if I scream my own name?
a) Ewwww... b) no c) go right ahead d) no......ok sure
5. Did it hurt?
a) no... b) yep c) only for a while d) did what hurt?
6. TIME STOPPER comes in and stops time! What is his weakness?
a) ______________ b) watches c) green lights d) he's afraid of the dark
7. What exactly are "good" pigeon feathers?
__________________________________________
8. What you say?
a) ALL YOUR BASE ARE BELONG TO US!!! b) You know what you doing! c) take off every Zig for great justice! d) Someone set up us the bomb! e) You have no chance to survive make your time! f) say what? g) Main screen turn on h) How are you Gentleman.
9. Have you never been mellow?
a) nope b) yep c) Butt song! d) Butt song?
10. Can I ask you somethin'?
a) no b) nope c) naw d) Get the HELL outta my way e) Only if it’s not about my black eye
11. Before you read this question, read the answers
a) AH CRAP! b) you lousy... c) hey, I read the answers first, HA! d) ooooh CRAP! Run away!
12. What am I doing right NOW?
a) typing up a quiz b) typing up the answers for this question
c) well...right NOW, you are _________________________________
13. My pen ran out of ink!
a) so? b) AHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! c) ::points:: HA! d) ooooh CRAP! Run away! e) …But you’re typing … ?
14. State your denomination.
b) _____________ b) well...yesterday I took over Russia AND New York! c) isn't that the number at the bottom of a fraction? d) 49!
15. Hey look it's TIM Cruise!
a) ooooooh! b) sure is c) umm...no
16. Note: This question is not really a question, well...a lot of the "questions" in this quiz aren't really questions...but this one especially! I'll tell you what it is, but only at the end of the Note: so you'll just have to wait, cause this is going to be a LONG Note:, so just bare with me here. I mean, this Note: is sooooooooo long you'll just be sitting there saying "Man, this is a long Note:" and you'll be right, because it is a LOOOOONG Note: so you WILL be sitting there saying, or maybe even THINKING "Man, this is a long Note:" or maybe you won't say "Man", but you know what I mean, it'll be something like that. Or maybe you won't say anything at all. You probably won't since I said all that, actually, now that I think about it, you probably won't say anything because you're reading this LONG Note: so you won't say anything unless it's just some random outburst...heh...random outburst are funny...heh hehheh...oh yeah, on with the Note:. In fact, if you do say something tell me, why? I don't know, I just wanna see what you are going to say about this Note:, this very LONG Note: I mean. Well, you know what I mean, so why am I telling you? I don't know. I just wanna make sure you know this is a LONG Note: and I also wanna say Note: again...Note: there, I did it, so HA! Eat my Note:! Now, since I'm sure you all know this is going to be a long Note:, I mean, I did say it about a billion times, well, not a billion, but you know what I mean. What am I saying? I know you know what I mean! And you know that I know that you know we all know that I know what I mean! Well, anyways, I'll tell you what this question is now! This is not really a question...wait, I said that already, well, you know what I mean...AH! Stop it Jerry! Of course they know what you mean! No they don't! Shut up you! Get outta my head! Ahem, anyways, this is not a question...shoot, I said it again, oh well it's kinda weird if I don't say it so I'll say it again...ready? Here I go! If you're not ready...then I'll do it anyway, so eat my going anyway! Wait, you can't eat that...well, you can't eat a Note: either...but you CAN eat a normal note, because it's just paper, but of course you know that...so why am I saying it? Clear-ification I guess...or maybe cause I want to...so HA! Eat my wantin'-oh never mind. Ahem, anyway, this is not a question, what it REALLY is is just a super long Note:, I mean a REALLY SUPER long Note:, with no real point to it at all. So...now you know. End of Note:
17. Wasn't that a long Note:?
a) NOOOOOO!!! b) not at all
c) hey! that Note: had some questions in it! I thought it wasn't really a question?
18. What are YOU doing?
a) What are YOU doing? b) DUDE! c) SWEET!
19. What are you crazy about?
a) chicken b) liver c) Meow Mix
20. Who wants to be a millionaire?
a) I do b) he does c) definitely not me
21. What level are you on?
a) 49 b) I just gained a level c) the one with your mom! Ohhhhh!
22. Would you like raisins with that?
a) ewwww... b) I'll take some fries c) yeah, just put 'em in my burger
23. Fill in the blanks
__________________________
24. The best name for a Barbarian is...
a) Pinky b) Brain c) THE Brain d) Barbarian e) Bongo f) Moe
25. Which is better?
a) Earthworm Jim b) the Worms from Worms c) common earthworms d) a guy named Worm
26. Which is better?
a) Taco Bell Dog b) Jack from Jack in the Box c) Ronald McDonald d) Gecko from Geico e) Budweiser Frogs
27. I'm getting sick and _____________ of you!
a) sleepy b) drowsy c) worn out d) restless
29. Shhhhh! This is really question 28!
a) right... b) no it's not c) sure is d) this isn't a question...
29. This moniter is a...
a) Super Sonic b) View Sonic c) Metal Sonic d) Evil Sonic e) Dead Sonic f) Moniter Sonic g) Knuckles
30. %~(@^!;}?)=##-`@*:[>&"$!\+
a) _+(&%& b) ^(_^*%$ c) @#*%#% d) ^_~ e) ô,o
31. Where should I hide the body?
a) behind the basement b) under the hallway c) beside the hole d) on top of the pole e) in some water that I tried to jump in but missed and hit the side. (I tried to tell Mike that I'm not a submarine, but he wouldn't listen!)
32. If you were a Super Hero, what would be the name of your friend's, uncle's, brother's, son's, nephew's, sister's, former acquaintance's, mother's, great grandfather's, bus riding friend's, maid's, cousin's dog?
__________________________
33. OK, think of a number between 1 and 10, now, think of a number between 10 and 50 and add the two, then, divide the number in half and then in half again, now, forget that number and write the first word that comes to your mind.
__________________________
If you want...write the number too.
__________________________
34. My name rhymes with Hubbles, what is my name?
__________________________
35. Name that animal!
a) Bear b) Bunny c) Wolf d) Dodo e) Tire
36. Name that tune!
a) Bear b) Bunny c) Wolf d) Dodo f) Yoda
37. __________________________
a) Fill in the question b) Fill in the answer c) Phil...the guy d) Pfil the fairy
38. Watch out for that
a) tree b) building c) treeing d) built
39. Black is to White as Winter is to...
a) hot dogs b) loose leaf paper c) shoe lace d) swords
40. What the hell is this?
_________
/ \
/ O o \
C C D
\ ___ /
\_________/
a) a face b) your mom c) a tire
_________
d) / \
/ O o \
C C D
\ ___ /
\_________/
41. A hot dog is to bowling balls as treeing is to
a) a made up word b) burning c) Notepad d) puck e) apple sauce
42. HA! Didn't think I saw that did you?
a) nope b) yes-sir-re-bob c) hmmm...ummm...ye...no d) ooooh CRAP! Run away!
43. What's that smell?
a) oops, sorry b) he did it! c) that would be the odor coming from my butt sir
44. What would be more effective?
a) bat b) fan c) sword d) it's not very effective... e) kendo stick!
45. Oh shoot! It's time to go! Oh shoot! I didn't mean to type that just now!
a) good job? b) yeah, way to type stuff? c) then delete it or something?
46. Are you ready for The Race?
a) hmmm...yeah b) naw c) I'm ready for the butt song d) nope
47. Is this some kind of joke or something?
a) sure is b) nope c) hmmm...ummm...ye...no d) something e) 49
48. Is that a yes?
a) nope b) yep c) that's as good as you'll get from me buddy!
*49*. What part of this quiz is insulting?
a) the title b) FINAL c) INSULT d) not enough Bongo questions...
e) The f) you killed my father!...and possibly my mother...
50. I thought I told you never to come here again
a) nope, you didn't b) oh yeah.... c) you might have... ::quickly runs away:: d) ooooh CRAP! Run away! e) I thought I told you to never to come here again ::waves hand in a Jedi motion::
51. What's the best name for a football player?
a) # Me b) Tick c) Toastman d) Ozzie e) Guss
52. What is Ozzie?
a) Umm... Jello? b) Cafeteria "Mystery Meat" c) a football player … probably
53. Which would be cooler?
a) RPG about Earthworm Jim b) The Tick RPG c) Megaman X RPG
d) Street Fighter RPG e) Final Fantasy RPG f) Bongo...the RPG
54. Which item name is more overused?
a) Potion b) Ether c) Eye drop d) Remedy e) Kitchen sink
55. What is the most useful item in any RPG?
__________________________
56. Vampires suck on...
a) blood b) jinn c) juice
57. Are you free tonight or will it cost me?
a) ummm... b) don't make me kick your c) I'm fr-HEY!
d) it will cost you 22 cents, 3 bottle caps and some good pigeon feathers
58. What do you not say to a pirate who is the captain of the ship?
a) it's always good to put your best foot forward! b) eye eye captain!
c) can I borrow your hat? d) I think you got the map upside-down...
59. Are we there yet?
a) nope b) yep c) almost d) I...don't...know... e) well...a few seconds ago we were back there, and, just when I said that, we passed there...
60. I guess the real question is, are we lost?
a) oh yeah b) most certainly sir c) I...don't...know... d) yeah...it's alright to panic now...
61. Why would we panic?
a) we just ran out of gas b) I think that steam is coming from OUR hood... c) The "dead" body in the trunk started moving... (He asked if we’re past the border yet)
62. I thought we killed him?
a) I told you to just shoot him... b) I...don't...know... c) I told you! The unnecessarily slow moving dipping mechanism doesn't work!
63. Well how would I know it wouldn't work?
a) you didn't pay your electric bill b) it went too slow c) the guards are incompetent d) none of your plans ever work!
64. No! Some of them work!
a) don't take that tone with me! b) no they don't... c) oh really...name one then!
65. How about when I threatened to shoot a hole in the "OZONE" with a "LASER" beam unless I got a hansom ransom?
a) that didn't work... b) oh yeah... c) you didn't do that d) hansom ransom? right... e) yes, but you expected them to die... f) that ALSO, has already been done...
66. Damn...
a) you said it b) where? c) why don't we just steal a nuclear warhead and hold the world hostage?
67. That could work...
a) sure could b) we could hold the world hostage for ONE MILLION DOLLARS! c) oh...sorry...ONE HUNDRED BILLION DOLLARS!!!
68. Why are these questions so random and out of place?
a) there are no sections b) you don't like sections c) you don't care
69. Do the Elly pose!
a) I don't want to... b) ok c) I'll do the hustle
70. What was your answer for number 16?
__________________________
71. It's story time! (You can use more then one word on a line.)
The _____________ dog went to his _____________ to find his _____________ . After he got his _____________, he decided to _____________ it. The dog then decided to walk around and _____________ a tree. Then he went to a _____________ and dug a _____________ for no reason. Then he _____________. After that he decided to eat some _____________ and then go _____________ .
72. Let my people GO!!!
a) no b) hmmm...ye...no c) what people? d) Jerry's kids?
73. Gym is to printers, as Pizza is to...
a) paper b) the tower c) the moniter d) the keyboard
74. So are you saying I can type stuff out on my pizza and print it out in the Gym?
a) umm...no b) sure...go ahead and try c) sometimes
75. AH HA HA HA HAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!
a) HA HA HAAA!!! b) HE HE HE, HA HA HA! c) HAAA HAaa haa ha...he... d) GWA HA HA HA e) HARDY HAR HAR f) heh heh heh...
76. What would be the most useful button on a person?
a) panic b) sleep c) reset d) power e) enter
77. Do you realize what I meant when I said a Power button?
a) no... b) yeah c) oh...I do now... d) maybe
Or for that matter, an Enter button?
a) that's just goin' too far... b) heh... c) I don't get it...
78. My name rhymes with Cuttercup, what is it? (Hint: it's not Ruddercup)
__________________________
79. Well? Are you happy now?
a) no b) yeah c) nope...can't say that I am d) maybe e) no, I'm ________________
80. The obvious answer is "c"
a) ooooh...that makes sense b) no it's not c) obvious
81. !noitseuq sdrawkcab a deen ew ,ziuq yreve htiw ekil tsuj
a) !od erus b) t'nod ew on c) ...noitseuq a yllaer ton si siht tub
82. siht noitseuq si ton yllaer heusk dejub goddoog.
a) you said it b) I have one of those c) I don't THINK so...
83. This is redickerus!
a) no it's not! b) yeah...lousy bastards... c) don't you mean redickqlus?
84. Give me an order!
a) I'd like a burger with raisins please b) dance c) beat Mustadio up! d) NO!! You give ME an order! e) YOUR ORDER IS STUPID!
85. Do you realize what you've done?
a) decided the fate of the world? b) nothing? c) opened a jar of pickles?
86. The answer is NOT d!
a) sure isn't b) you got that right! c) why not? e) yes it is!
87. The answer IS d!
a) make up your mind! b) no it's not c) yes it is! e) darn tootin! f) d (Note: I’m clever)
88. How much is that bunny in the hole?
a) $49 b) he's not for sale c) you can have him...he's dead
89. How dare you try and sell me a dead bunny!
a) ::shrugs:: you asked b) ::waves hand:: I'll give you 49 dollars...
c) I told you he's not for sale smart guy...
90. How many people does it take it screw in a lightbalb?
a) 1 b) A lightbalb?
91. If I have to tell you one more time I'm going to...
a) eat your shorts b) eat my shorts c) screw in a lightbalb
92. Rough night?
a) you could say that... b) nope c) it's daytime...idiot...
93. Why do golfers yell "FOUR!"?
__________________________
94. Hellhole means...
a) your job, a hole in hell, a hole that warps you to hell in Diablo 2
b) a hole your dog dug VERY deeply, the hole in the seat of your pants, school
c) bunnies, flowers, sunshine
d) Bear, Squirrel, Wolf, Dodo, Tire or Yoda
95. Ok, here comes a math problem!
a) NOOOOOO!!! b) I thought there would be no math on this test... c) ooooh CRAP! Run away!]
96. What makes the Fantastic Four Fantastic?
a) I thought this was going to be a math question... b) nothing
c) they have a "thing" d) they have a chick that can disappear for no reason
e) they have a kid that has to say "flame on" just to burn himself
97. How much would you pay to see a real Bear dance?
a) $1 b) $10 c) $49 d) $10,000,000 e) 22 cents, 3 bottle caps and some good pigeon feathers
98. Is it just me, or is it hot in here?
a) it's just you b) it's just me c) it's just them d) it's just everybody
99. Just one more question left...
a) ahh! you just wasted a question to say that! b) aww man... c) I bet it's not going to be a question d) this was too short! e) I’ll be the judge of that
100. How did you like the LAST QUIZ EVER? (no limit to number of answers) (Editor Note: Take Note: that this wasn't really the last quiz ever.)
a) it was ok
b) it was good
c) I bet you'll make another one just to spite us
d) 49, I had to say it one last time
e) flame on!
f) Get the HELL out of my way!
g) do I HAVE to find GOOD pigeon feathers?
h) Note: this is an answer End of Note:
i) if this is the last quiz my name ain't Queen Pulsating Bloated Festing Sweaty Puss-filled Malformed Slug-for-a-butt!
j) hey look! it's TOM Cruise!
k) I am sick and drowsy of this!
l) ALL YOUR BASE ARE BELONG TO US!
m) Next time put a sign outside saying "Thieves' Hideout"
n) obvious
o) I'll have a burger with raisins please
p) Butt song! q) BONGO!!!
r) Where's the 49th Robot Carnival!?!?
s) treeing...?
t) ^_~
u) o,ô
v) What are YOU doing?!
w) Omniwhelp
x) ___Rice Cracker_____
y) heh...they have a "thing"...
z) ooooh CRAP! Run away!
The FINAL INSULT's BONUS QUESTIONS!!!
(This is in no way endorsed or produced by the Pointless Productions Inc tm)
*1. Who ya gonna call?
a) Ghostbusters b) Earthworm Jim c) The Tick d) Bongo e) Mojo Jojo f) The Powerpuff Girls g) Cats (you'd BETTER know who I'm talking about!)
*2. Is it in you?
a) yeah b) hell no c) that stuff is nasty d) is it in me right NOW?
*3. "By George, I think I've got it!" What did he get?
a) an idea b) a headache c) a cold d) a banana e) a cookie f) cancer g) good pigeon feathers h) lightbalb
*4. Someone just smacked you, what're you gonna do?
a) ask why they smacked you b) smack them back c) go into a hot steamy rage
d) blow up a random building e) lay the smack down (heh, that's kinda funny...
he's smacking you and you're laying the smack down! ha ha...ha...yeah...)
f) open up a can of whoop ass g) open up a can of Pepsi
*5. How's it hangin'?
a) it's ok b) not so well c) a little to the left d) ewwww
*6. Whoop-de-freakin'-do! You want a cookie or somethin?
a) sure! b) Oreos please! c) naw d) I'll have a burger with raisins
*7. That looks like a...
a) raisin b) Cats c) obvious d) ...
*8. That cloud looks just like a...
a) raisin b) Cloud c) obvious d) Squall
*9. Which of these answers makes more sense?
a) raisin b) nital gip spoo! c) obvious d) oops pig latin! e) this answer costs 22 cents, 3 bottle caps and some good pigeon feathers
*10. And so...having defeated the nefarious ______________, our hero _______________, has won the heart of the lovely ______________.