Bothers and worries, what is it ?... to you to me ,I don't know about yours I'm not some psychY fool, that can tell you what you wanna hear, or tell you logical reasons to contemplate in your head... Hey maybe they're right. Who knows? When it gets down and dirty, (techinically real life) its hard, now that I think about it, it seems to work itself around me.

The past... Ohh boy...Don't we all have one ? hehe, ok I'll just speak for myself, the best and what it can do. Sometimes I wish i could just go back, go back, to see what would've happend if i just waited, waited a bit longer. Like I usually did, maybe not months but atleast a month. I think about it and it hurts its like it has the button to my heart's core. The more it's thought of, the more pressure is put on it, and more heat, and I guess its pain? that I feel when it feels what it feels in my chest. The past pushes away happy thoughts, the thoughts that let me fly, when I fly i feel great. I feel as if nothing can touch me but the ones I come to. I've been told that the past is with everyone and can never be forgotten no matter what. * On a positive note to extinguish the pain and anger that it boils in me, "Let it go", "What can you do?", "What good is it going to do you?", "Its happend, nothing you can do about it", "It's what makes you who you are"....that last one was what I always told myself...cause I feel special, I feel unique, and I feel invincible...But heres what reveals my selfishness... that same thing that makes me feel good... that same saying...those same words....I can't... Its hard....Its just, really painful, to accept for others...especially others that really mean something to you.

Confusion, UNwillingness, Loss of Hope....Depression...I've gone through it... you have ... we all have...I can't even say that I've gone through a grip of it. Cause I know theres a lot of you out there that's got it more...maybe yeah ? maybe no?...ehh...it's killed me, its brought me down...It has hindered me enough...Enough....for sure enough, should I be prepared ?...Shall I prepare myself? for what I say...prepare to is ..get ready for something...what am I getting ready for....I see nothing yet...But I'm Making something for myself to prepare for...its hard...especially when you want something...but like said you can't control what you really want...(with the exception of somethings)Don't you just hate it ?...Haha....well

I'm Religous, I don't exactly know if you can say I'm very religous, but I'm religous. I look to God, and see the answer, I feel the answer. But with my human corruption I haven't gone after it. Because I think if i did, these entries would be writtin/typed would have been filled more with laughter than sorrow

hey guys email me your opinions, how I relieve my pain, my sorrow is to just relax...I mean just let the flow go...and I guess ignore the thoughts of negative....feelings, imaginations, everything....and that's my ongoing solution, and always try to think positive as I go on....while corruption eats me up...