Black contradictions

I am afraid of my blackness
Its pagan
Its primitive

I only adore my whiter shades of my blackness
A child is born
Its pretty like a white child

I am afraid of my blackness
Its African
Its Setswana

I only love my whiter shades of blackness
A maiden becomes a bride
She is suddenly as pretty like a coloured

I am afraid of my blackness
Its backward
Its  unfashionable

I only associate with my whiter shades of blackness
A fairer sister is prettier than the thick-lipped babe next door

But I love my African music
My African dance
My African food
For my black pure soul
Like a vampire
needs nourishment
The brother who despised his skin

The brother said
I do not like a white woman
To share a bed is like slipping into a sheet of milk

The brother said
I like a coloured woman
The whiteness of her thighs ignite the fire

I said
The brother is confused

The brother said
I do not like a black sister
Her blackness may rub off my skin

I said
The brother despise his black skin
Walking besides ones freedom

Walking beside one's freedom
Instead of going through it
to glide off  Mt Kilimanjaro
to dive off Victoria Falls

Walking beside one's freedom
instead of dancing freely
a gypsy dance, a San dance
to a sensual song as if nobody is looking

Walking beside one' freedom
instead of prowling after her heart
to follow the desire for a foreign lass to the snow tops
as embodiment of free spirit

Walking beside one's freedom
instead of pawning the earthly
and like a pauper, sleep under the moon
freely fish the Okavango
surf the Kgalagadi sands
hike the Tswapong hills

Walking besides one's freedom
instead of casting aside the bondage
to experience timelessness of natural fragrances
and watch the sun rise over Limpopo River
and embrace Kgalagadi dunes at dusk


Confused expectations

I am expected to be strong, how can I
How can I be, when I have to be gentle and caring

I am expected to be strong, how can I
How can I be, when I have to be sensitive and emotional

How can I sweep the house
when I only know how to chop wood
How can I cook
when I only know how to plough
Afraid of his feminity

Are you afraid to cry
A man cries when his heart is about to break

Are you afraid to be affectionate
Its girlish to show emotions

Are you afraid to talk
It will show weakness

Are you afraid to show femininity
You may not be a man enough

Yet he is troubled
he is anguished
his lonely heart yarn to show tenderness
his eyes, to let hot fluid to bath his face and be human again

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