My name is a label my parents placed upon me at birth. Why do we need labels to define us in society, titles to show our worth? I'm sorry I digress, let me return to the subject at hand. My life has been a fallacy I convince myself isn't true. Not a long one, but one that I feel is resplendent with adventures in pain, love, despair, hope, etc. In short everything that everyone else endures in these trials we call life. It always seems to me we get alittle ahead in life till we get kicked in the face and are pushed back to start out all over again. Suffering?
My life in short order: I am from Central Florida, which is where I grew up. After graduating High School, I joined the U.S. Army and married my highschool sweetheart. We divorced alittle after six years. During our marriage we had two beautiful boys, A.J. was around six and Launcelot was four when we divorced. She returned to Florida and our boys lived with her. Through that seperation and fear I became the voice of a distant parent over the phone. Unable to whole heartedly share in their life, I managed to convince myself to let go of them and to my everlasting shame we grew apart. God may forgive me one day, they may forgive me, but I never will so I sit counting breaths until darkness' veil comes.
Now, A.J is 20, married and in the U.S. Army himself. He is his own man and though I take pride in his accomplishment. I haven't really been there for him since 1992. He has a beautiful wife and the eagerness I see in his eyes to tackle lifes problems brings me to tears. He did not do great in school but then again grades are a label society places upon others to show their worth in this pecking order of madness. I can't take credit, it was my ex's accomplishment, she did good and I extol her success.
Launcelot is 18 and has always been great in school, easily tackling anything thrown at him. Of the two, he seems to me the most calculating and methodical. He leaves for the Marine Corps soon. He is a super-brain and I figure one day will shock everyone in how far he goes in this life. He was so young when me and his mother parted our threads in the weaving of life. Of me he remembers little or nothing at all. I was nothing but a voice on the phone at times. I have amassed so much bad karma in this life and fear what is to come in the next, even though I deserve it.
I was stationed in Central Texas at Ft Hood and left the Army in August of 1993. I decided to stay in Texas for various reasons. So I went to a local community college to get a two year degree in Law Enforcement/Criminal Justice. It was then that I met, my second wife. At the time she was studying to become an Emergency Medical Technician. We dated for almost four years before we got married. She was a single mother of two, a lovely six month old daughter, Savannah and a two year old son, Nick. Savannah was a serious reader like me. Nick became my fishing partner, best friend, hunting partner and my superstar Baseball player. They both took me in as father and I felt blessed they did. During our marriage, I was a Police Officer, Correctional Officer, Security Guard, Federal Agent (trainee), and Loss Prevention Officer of course all in the Criminal Justice Field. I even drove a concrete truck for alittle while as a part time job so my wife, at that time, could go to nursing school. After almost 10 years we divorced in 2002 and of course, to my hearts sorrow, her children went with her. I adopted my step-son, Nick prior to the divorce and we have kept in contact with each other ever since. We see each other as often as possible.
Now I am remarried, which I never thought would happen again. I didn't plan it, IN FACT I swore never to place myself in that position again. Hell back up a paragraph or two, I am not so good at it. It kind of took me by surprise. It was to me an awakening from darkness to light. My wife, Isis, was a single mother with one daughter, Jasmine. My wife is a caregiver, confidant, lover, supporter, companion, and never ceases to amaze me. She makes everything come together and organizes my hectic life so nothing is forgotten. I was so shocked because with all that has happened to me, how was I lucky enough to find her. We have been together since the latter half of 2003. In five short years me and Jasmine have even begun to grow closer.
Jasmine, now there is a step-daughter after your own heart. At 14, she is too wise for her years and to untrusting of others. She has friends but is a definite loner not a follower. She loves and I mean loves to read, well except for the books I make her read. She enjoys anime cartoons, computer games, playing the flute and needling me for fun. I was overjoyed when she took up playing the flute, because back in highschool I played the saxophone and should never have stopped. She enjoys writing and has plans for becoming an X-ray Technician in the future. We started cooking recipes together we find on the internet and I hope we continue to do that. We both love sushi, which is awesome because my wife hates seafood. I pray the years bring us closer and she can one day look to me as a father figure. I become attached so quickly it seems.
Ok that is my life as fast and short as I can put it. Sounds boring maybe, but with all the holes and blanks left between each line, I could fill up volumes with. I vowed that the mistakes of my past, would never be repeated in the future, but I am mortal and fallible. We live, we fall down, we learn, we frow and we die. It is up to us to become more then mere engravings on a stone growing in a garden of rocks.
My hobbies are quite diverse and enjoyed in differing amounts. As music goes I enjoy country music, folk music, old and new Rock & Roll. As far as hobbies, my passions are writing poetry, Fishing (salt & freshwater), reading poetry, reading in general boating, Fishing, hiking, Kayaking, Fishing, bird hunting (duck, dove and quail), Fencing, Tai Chi, computer gaming, Fishing, cooking, BBQing, camping, cultural activities, going to the movies, curling up in front of the TV for some serious sci-fi movies and did I mention I love to go fishing.
