Unknown Armies Limericks
These are the results of an ongoing competition in my UA game that began as nothing more than a joke. During the infiltration of an abandoned Mechanomancer base, one of the PCs (Ezekial Sardis) ended up interacting with an automaton who had a fondness for poetry. After Sardis was forced to admit that he knew little about literature, one of the players made a crack about Sardis only reading dirty limericks. On a whim, I replied, "I'll give a bonus XP to anyone who can write me a limerick about Sardis," and was rewarded with several hilarious results. Since then, it's become a weekly tradition to try to come up with a limerick about a particular PC or NPC (and I still give XP for it, too). Check back every week to see new examples.
Aphrodite Jambon
Aphrodite, the Avatar Mother
Was once quite a vigorous lover.
But some sex with a 'bot
Made her hate men a lot.
Now with love only carpets she smothers.
(by Eric)
Aphrodite stood by in her nighty
While Scott, her boyfriend, got flighty.
He broke out her window,
So she took up the rainbow.
She hasn't since seen tighty-whitey.
(by Nikki)
There once was a girl, Aphrodite.
Children she doesn't take lightly.
She acts like a crazy mom,
To random kids she tends to glom,
Even when they get kicky and bitey.
(by Noel)
Samantha Gavel
There once was a girl named Sam.
She saw her friend fall on the tram.
When it happened, she fled,
'Cause she thought he was dead.
But he got up and it all was a scam.
(by Noel)
Sam's always angry with me
Because of the neat things I see.
But when a ghost made a switch,
She wasn't a bitch.
I don't notice; I was watching TV.
(by Eric)
Sam was a really good hooker,
Mostly 'cause she was a looker.
But TNI came
And took all her fame
And now all her mates point and snicker.
(by Nikki)
Ezekiel Riemer
There once was this guy called Riemer,
To danger he was no first-timer.
But Amanda put him in o'er his head,
Which happens to be dense as lead.
Now he'll be screwed when we find her.
(by Iain)
Nikki also wrote an awesome limerick about Riemer, but I am a horrible person and I lost it.
Kane Siannan
There once was a man named Kane.
His speech turned out horribly lame.
I took over his body
And acted quite naughty.
Now his Kingdom will never be the same.
(written in-character by Anna, and accompanied by a drawing of a face sticking
out its tongue)
There once was a man named Sardis;
As a professor he was quite a hard-ass.
He lost his fine life
And then his fine wife
And all 'cause the King is heartless.
(by Iain)
A man named Ezekial Sardis
Once said, "Dear, nothing shall part us."
But a ritual missed
Made him cease to exist.
Now he drives us nuts trying to chart us.
(by Sarah)
Ezekial Sardis, professor,
Performed his own role as confessor.
In seeking transcendence
He did too much penance
And Tic-Tacs became the aggressor.
(by Nikki)