I must have blinked or something, because all of a sudden Fourth Of July weekend is on the way with its trio of big movies ("The Patriot," "The Perfect Storm," "Adventures Of Rocky & Bullwinkle) and summer is a third of the way over. I haven't seen any of those three flicks just yet, but I can catch you up on the stuff I've made it to lately (apart from "Gladiator" and "American Beauty" at the local drive-in--so much fun!).

For starters, my friend Andy and I made it to "Me, Myself, & Irene" on opening weekend. I don't share his enthusiasm for Jim Carrey (apart from "The Truman Show"--Carrey was robbed at the Oscars, if you ask me), but I let him drag me along and found myself wishing I'd stayed home.

The Farrelly brothers' last movie was the hilarious "There's Something About Mary"--a tough act to follow, I'll admit, but I was expecting a little more. There are a few bright spots in this tale of a state trooper with a Jekyll-and-Hyde personality (such as a truly inspired bit involving a roadkill cow that refuses to die), and Jim Carrey is always a riot when he's beating himself up, but they're few and far between. The plot is a disjointed mishmash of slapstick and gross-outs involving every conceivable body fluid tied together by a dull misunderstood-cop-on-the-run story. I mean, if I wanted uneven, vaguely funny sketch comedy I could watch "Saturday Night Live" for free.

The really funny scenes in this movie, surprisingly, belong not to Jim Carrey but to a, um, "vertically challenged" limo driver and his triplet sons (their mother was Carrey's character's wife, and he raised them). The kids have the brains of rocket scientists and the mouths of gangsta rappers, which makes for some very naughty, very funny lines. If you thought you'd never hear the words "quantum physics" and "motherf---er" in the same sentence, think again. Apart from that, "Me, Myself, & Irene" is overlong and just not funny. The Verdict: Wait for the video so you can fast-forward to the limo driver, the kids, and that cow! 2 out of 5.

Following that fiasco I was in need of some real comedy, so on the strength of its reviews I checked out "Chicken Run." I've also been a fan of director Nick Park's work ever since the days of his hysterical Oscar-winning "Wallace & Gromit" short films, so I had high hopes.

And man, was I ever not disappointed! "Chicken Run" is a claymation send-up of POW movies like "The Great Escape" where chickens replacing hardened WWII vets with hysterical results. Led by a defiant hen and an escaped circus rooster (voiced by Mel Gibson, of all people!), they hatch a daring plan to fly to freedom before the farmer bakes them into pies. It's being marketed as a kids' movie, but at the matinee I attended the adults were laughing harder than anyone. Afterwards they treated the movie like a cinematic game of "Where's Waldo?": "Did you catch the visual quote from 'Alien?' The references to 'Star Wars' and 'Star Trek?' The all-chicken replica of Picasso's 'Guernica?'" (You'll catch that and more, and it's great fun trying to catch all the pop culture references. My personal favorite: Mel Gibson's last line in "Braveheart" was a dramatic cry of "Freeeeeeeedom!"--so is his first line in "Chicken Run." Coincindence? I think not.) But the clever throw-away gags are just that, supplementing a great story that makes you want to cheer.

On top of the great writing is some lovely, jaw-dropping animation. What's more impressive: "Dinosaur"'s vapid plot and eerily perfect CGI beasties, or "Chicken Run"'s great words and pictures created only from clay and human ingenuity? I think you know. So take the kids, or just take your "grown-up" friends and let your inner child out to play. The Verdict: This is a movie for everyone. See it now. 4.5 out of 5.

If that doesn't give you reason enough to go to the theatre, you can always stay home and rent "The Green Mile," which recently came out on video after several Oscar nominations and a quite successful run. If you only see one uplifting prison movie based on a Stephen King novel and adapted/directed by Frank Darabont this year, make it "The Shawshank Redemption" (if only because it's an hour shorter!). But this isn't a bad runner-up.

Tom Hanks stars in this tale of miracles and redemption on Death Row, and while his performance is adequate it's Michael Clarke Duncan as miracle-working convict John Coffey (note the initials) who really shines, and got the Oscar nod to prove it. (Personally, I think the trained mouse playing Mr. Jingles deserved an Oscar just for being so darn cute, but then I'm crazy so you probably shouldn't listen to me.) The story is good if awfully slow-moving at times; this is a three and a half hour movie, and I felt every single minute of its length. I think it could have been an hour shorter and nothing would have been lost. It's also emotionally brutal and very difficult to watch at times; I almost had to go out to the lobby for some air during one particularly graphic execution, not because it was graphic but because the movie had made me feel such compassion for a condemned murderer. That's quite a feat. It also made me cry. A lot. I think I've cried at about three other movies in my life, which is saying something for this.

"The Green Mile" has quite a moving message at its core, challenging the viewer to feel compassion for every human being and their inner potential, no matter how heinous their past actions may be. I think everyone should see this movie at least once, just because I agree with that conclusion. If you do, be forewarned: You're in for an occasionally tedious, very draining experience that in the end is utterly worth every bored minute and every yawn. Just go to the bathroom beforehand, pop a few No-Doz, and you'll be okay. The Verdict: I cried. I glanced at my watch repeatedly. But I liked it. 3.5 out of 5.

Copyright (c) 2000 by Beth Kinderman. This is my original work, so please respect it.