In my humble opinion, one of the more ridiculous things making its way through our society is the way people blame real-life crime and violence on violent movies (and not the individuals sick enough to commit those acts). But I have to admit, after seeing "Gone In Sixty Seconds" I feel a little bit tempted--well, not to steal a car, but I'd love to try some of that crazy Dukes of Hazzard, laws-of-physics-defying stuff that Nicolas Cage pulls off repeatedly...

This is a Jerry Bruckheimer movie (he produced "Armageddon," "Enemy Of The State," and a whole slate of blockbusters), so I wasn't expecting more than great car chases, decent one-liners, and Angelina Jolie's lips. I got all three--and maybe I'm too demanding, but it wasn't enough.

The previews made this look like a car thief movie. Actually, it's a heap of random stuff that doesn't quite add up with a bit of grand theft auto thrown in. The main plot point (our anti-heroes have to steal 50 cars in 24 hours) only takes up about 40 minutes of the movie, with the rest being so-called character and plot development that is frankly boring. "Gone In Sixty Seconds" is great for that all-too-brief span of time, with a likable cast (although one character is a total rip-off of Silent Bob--shame on the writer!) and everything else I wanted. But it's too little, too late. In the end all this movie did was make me want to break traffic laws for nothing. The Verdict: This movie owes me my ticket price plus the cost of any moving violations. 2 out of 5.

Call me crazy, but I think I enjoyed the previews going with "Gone In Sixty Seconds" more than the movie itself. Take "Me, Myself, & Irene," which with Jim Carrey starring and the Farrelly brothers (from "There's Something About Mary") directing, looks hilarious and will probably make obscene amounts of money. Plus "Hollow Man," with Kevin Bacon becoming invisible and enjoying it a little too much. It should be good, campy fun.

I also had the dubious pleasure of witnessing an audience boo a preview for the first time I can remember: the much-maligned "Blair Witch 2: Book Of Shadows." I'll admit I joined in! But while the people around me seemed to be booing because they hated the original "Blair Witch" so much, I disapprove because of what Artisan has done to this wonderful movie. First there was the merchandising frenzy and out-of-control hype that ruined "The Blair Witch Project" for so many people. Now I hear that the sequel has a huge budget (good luck capturing a realistic feel on $10 million, buddy!) and a new director, with Daniel Myrick and Eduardo Sanchez (the geniuses behind the original) staying on as "creative consultants." Please! I believe those two revolutionized the horror genre and the field of directing last summer (and as much as I love "American Beauty," Sam Mendes owes them that directing Oscar), and now they can't even make a sequel to their own wonderful movie on their own terms. Artisan prides itself on being an "independent" distributor, but it seems they're creating a franchised cash cow (just like the major studios they disdain so much) rather than focusing on the small, ignored indie films they claim to embrace. Shame on you, Artisan. But perhaps they've succeeded, because I'll be at "Blair Witch 2" on its Halloween opening night out of loyalty to the original. They still can't make me like it!

Speaking of distant opening nights, can anyone else believe they're already hyping "Silence Of The Lambs" sequel "Hannibal" with that weird trailer before the movie even enters production? A little excessive, don't you think? I'll say it now, and I'm sure I'll say it again: Boycott "Hannibal," everybody! They've replaced Jodie Foster (who owns the Clarice Starling role) with Julianne Moore! I say no Jodie, no sequel...who's with me?

I tend to associate summer with the multiplex and the drive-in rather than the video store, but I can't overlook the fact that some of last year's best movies are now out on video. The first one that comes to mind is "American Beauty," the most deserving Best Picture winner in ages and perhaps the closest thing to a perfect movie I've ever seen. I can find no weak links--no bad dialogue, no scenes that feel forced, no extraneous images, no underused characters. All I can do is see this movie over and over again, unable to explain why it affects me so deeply. The Verdict: Required viewing. Now. 5 out of 5.

Another challenging, intriguing movie is "Fight Club," although that's to be expected for anything coming from David Fincher (director of "Seven" and "The Game"). When I rented this I thought it was just a movie about men beating each other up; man, was I wrong. It's a raunchy, brutal, darkly funny film that looks at many of the same issues as "American Beauty" and comes up with a totally different (yet equally valid) conclusion. My only criticism is that the outrageous twist ending doesn't really play fair; it comes out of nowhere and the viewer has no chance to even guess it. (Maybe that's a good thing?) I think the entire situation is hilarious, but then I have a sick sense of humor. Check it out and see what you think. The Verdict: Very worth seeing, if only to find out how these guys make soap. 4.5 out of 5.

Copyright (c) 2000 by Beth Kinderman. This is my original work, so please respect it.