Ed: Hey, guess what? That dorky guy who was on the Bebop last episode really WAS Vash the Stampede! Good thing my personality dictates I’d never tell the adults about this…or would I?
Reality: Slurp. Pop. Splat.
Lina: Ow, my head. Where am I?
Police Officer: In a temple in Tokyo.
Lina: I don’t understand. Threaten threaten threaten.
Police Officer: Hey, none of that now.
Lina: I’ll kick your ass!
Washu: And since I see what’s going on, I’ll help!
Lina: Thanks, Washu. I’m pretty beat up. You should take me to a doctor, or something.
Washu: I’d do that, but since this is anime, I think I’ll just take you to the Bebop instead.
Vash: Hey Kenshin, what are we doing back at the Bebop? I thought we just walked all night trying to get away from it.
Kenshin: It’s the magic of anime, that it is.
Washu: I rock. My cabbit turns into a spaceship.
Lina: Show me.
Ryo-ohki: Urk.
Washu: Not only did that fail miserably, it wrecked the entire front of the Bebop.
Spike: You all suck. Get off my ship.
Washu: Actually, right now, the more immediate threat is the Angel that’s appearing over the horizon.
Spike: Eep. I’m getting in the Swordfish.
Vash: Eep. I’m trying to combat it on foot.
Ed: Eep. I’m trying to hack into it and establish contact.
Misato: Shinji, an Angel! Get in the robot and kick its ass!
Shinji: Eat hot prog knife, Angel!
Angel: Eat flaming death, Eva!
Shinji: Urk.
Gendo: Shinji, you suck.
Ed: Angel, what are you doing?
Angel: Do not run! I am your friend! I just want to reunite with Adam and make humanity melt into puddles of orange goo!
Ed: That sounds nice. Shinji, don’t kill it!
Shinji: Urk.
Vash: You hurt Shinji! You stomped Tokyo! Eat lead, Angel!
Angel: Urk. (dies)
Vash: Woohoo! I rock!
Kenshin: No, you suck, that you do. You’re not supposed to kill, remember?
Vash: But it was just a machine.
Ed: No, it wasn’t! It was my friend!
Vash: Eep. I suck. I’m going to go cry in the bathroom now.
Faye: Fine, then I’m locking you in there.
Ed: Hey, Faye-Faye, did you know there’s something really interesting about the guy in our bathroom?
Vash: Eep. I’m going to teleport to Misato’s apartment.
Misato: Hi, Vash. I’m naked.
Vash: I suck, Ed knows a lot about the Angels, and I really want to boink you.
Misato: I gotta go check that out!
Vash: Meanwhile, I’m going to make soup so I can scream into it.
Faye: Tell me more, Ed.
Ed: Only if you buy me hot dogs.
Faye: Okay, now will you tell me?
Ed: That guy told me the guy in our bathroom is worth 60 billion woolongs to him.
Legato: Yes, that’s right. Here, have another hot dog. Now take me to Vash the Stampede.
Ed: Okay.
Faye: That’s weird, he’s gone.
Legato: You suck.
Misato: Hey, kid! I heard you know a lot about the Angels!
Ed: Yes, I do! Technobabble technobabble technobabble.
Misato: Wow! Do you want to be a pilot?
Ed: Sure, why not?
Players: Eep.
Misato: Spike, you’re cute. Come by my place later on.
Spike: Okay.
Misato: Vash, make sure to be naked when he shows up, just to make things even more comical and awkward.
Vash: Okay. Hi, Spike.
Spike: Hi, Vash.
Misato: Wow, two sexy men in my apartment. I say we all get drunk and have a threesome.
Players: Eep.
Spike: Um…sure, why not.
Vash: Um…thanks, but no thanks.
Misato: Okay, but you’ll have to sleep in Asuka’s room and listen to Spike and me having Freaky Circus Sex through the paper-thin walls of my apartment while you lie awake and think about how you’re a murderer and a 186-year-old virgin.
Asuka: Ooh, Vash, you’re so sexy.
Vash: My life sucks.