Chapter 4:

Hooray For (Umbral) Hollywood

(04/07/01, 04/23/01, 04/28/01)

 

Shortly after discovering the existence of John Crowley, the cabal received a visit from a vampire: Clarice, the very pissed-off Prince of Atlanta.  It seemed that when Wan and Kyler destroyed the computers in the Syndicate office, they had wiped out some important vampire-related information.  Now, she was out for their blood (pun intended).  After considering the situation, everyone decided it would be a good idea to leave town for awhile until things blew over.  Out of the blue, Marcus announced that he had connections at Horizon, and that we would be able to stay there for awhile if we wanted to.  Everyone agreed to the idea, and we set off into the Umbra, bound for Horizon.

 

After a rather lengthy journey, the cabal reached the back entrance of Horizon and began a lengthy trek across the wilderness and toward Concordia.  Along the way, Jennifer encountered an adorable furry creature and put it on her shoulder.  She showed it to Kenley, who was equally bewitched and put one in her pocket after a number of the critters began emerging from the woods.  Of course, the furball grew enormous teeth and bit Jennifer.  She blew its head off.  Kenley shot the one in her pocket (making her gun explode in the process), and Saxon stomped one on the ground.  Everyone tried a number of methods to dislodge a fourth from Kenley’s leg before Jennifer pried it off with Wan’s Swiss army knife.

 

Upon arriving in Concordia, Marcus vanished.  Saxon got to know the Seat of Life, convinced her to become his mentor, and procured living arrangements for everyone in the Shard Realm of Life.  Kenley conned Maria into giving her some Tass to buy a new gun.  Jennifer and Ripple, frustrated by their lack of proper currency, started looking around for ways to make money.  After looking around for awhile, they heard about a Cultist working on a sexual role-playing rote.  He was looking someone to go to the Hollywood Dream Realm in the Umbra and collect “the essence of Hollywood.”  He would pay a large amount of Tass if the mission was completed.  Jennifer and Ripple agreed to the job and enlisted the help of the rest of the cabal.  Then, everyone set out for the Hollywood Dream Realm.

 

Jennifer, Kyler, and Ripple immediately split off from the rest of the group and started heading toward the HOLLYWOOD sign.  Soon it became clear they would never reach it, so they picked a random building and entered it.  They walked into “Blade,” and Kyler had to take over the title role in order for the three of them to get out.  Meanwhile, Teal found himself sucked out of Horizon and into “The Exorcist” (he vaporized Linda Blair with a bolt of Prime energy).  Similarly, Kenley found herself in “Snow White” and set about seducing the seven dwarves.  Saxon and Maria ended up in “Casablanca,” but Saxon blew his lines and was replaced by Humphrey Bogart.  Maria then found herself in “The Twilight Zone”—literally.  Saxon got his wish to be in an action movie when he showed up in “Predator.”  Wan went from “Evil Dead 2” to “Friday The 13th” to “Vampire Hunter D.”  Jennifer ended up in “Scream.” Ripple killed Norman Bates in “Psycho,” then (appropriately enough) became Ripley in “Aliens.”  Kyler became the title character in “Mary Poppins” and escaped by killing the little children.  Jennifer, Kenley, Kyler, and Ripple then ended up in an episode of “Neon Genesis Evangelion,” during which Ripple nearly went crazy.  After an interlude in “From Dusk Till Dawn,” Teal shifted to “Highlander”—during which Saxon and the Predator fell from the sky.  A battle ensued between the Predator and Connor McLeod, and the Predator blew up the entire parking garage with his self-destruct button.  Ripple became Gumby and seduced Pokey, and Kyler became Ernie on “Sesame Street.”  Kyler’s next “scene shift” took her into an office where a studio executive type yelled at her for causing so much chaos.  He asked her what she wanted.  She said, “The Essence of Hollywood.”  He gave it to her and kicked her out.  Back at Horizon, she collected the payment but never told anyone else she had gotten it.  Jennifer and Ripple later argued with her about it, damaging their friendship almost beyond repair. 

 

After Hollywood, things started getting really weird.  Unexpectedly, Clarice showed up in Horizon, still trying to track down Kyler and Wan.  They managed to evade her, but she ran into Maria instead.  By now desperate to get rid of John once and for all, Maria befriended Clarice, thinking she could somehow banish him.  Clarice was indeed able to send John away—by Embracing Maria.  Apparently deciding she’d caused enough chaos in our cabal, Clarice took off, leaving the cabal with a brand-new Lasombra vampire on their hands.

 

Around the same time, Joe proposed marriage to Kenley, and she accepted.  The two of them also became curious about the Umbra outside of Horizon and decided to find a way to explore it.  With some help from Kyler and Jennifer, the two of them began building a spaceship to voyage through the Umbra and take the interesting route back to Earth.  After a lot of convincing, everyone decided to come along for the ride—except James, Kyler, and Teal, who decided they preferred Horizon to Earth.  Everyone said their goodbyes, boarded the ship, and set a course for home.

 

The cabal soon discovered that navigating through the Umbra was a lot harder than it looked.  Before long, they had become almost hopelessly lost.  Five days after setting out, their Quintessence batteries already needed refilling.  Shortly thereafter, they arrived at a strange planet with large stores of Quintessence available, and were attacked by a giant squidlike thing in space.  After a lengthy battle, they managed to chase it off and descended to the new world.

 

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