I Take My Life

 

I take my life in both my hands/ I look it over but I don’t understand/ its corridors & secret plans/ the futures it conceals/ & I can’t decide if it’s just jerking me around/ denied a horizon, left with sky & ground/ it’s like my voice is buried in the lost & found/ & nothing it speaks is real.

 

because life lives up to all the clichés/ it’s beautiful & it’s rough/ it’s a road & a river & a death row sentence/ but still it’s never enough/ & you wanted me to be someone’s mother/ well, maybe I’m not that feminine/ you wanted me to be a safe soft sweetheart/ well, maybe I’m not that civilized/ because the seconds are ticking & the clock is dripping/ & we’re no match for the calendar, my friend/ so I’m just trying to live the way my mind intended/ cause I won’t have this day again.

 

I take my life for granted sometimes/ trying hard but I can’t seem to find/ reprieve from sensing the weight of time/ the dream that I’ve been wrong/ & all the words I never wrote/ chords I ignored that fit my note/ the fear I’ll wake with the world at my throat/ & half my days here gone.

 

because life is just like the poets say/ it’s miserable & it’s tough/ it’s a symphony & a tragedy/ but still it’s never enough/ & you wanted me to make you feel better/ well, maybe I’m no good at lying/ you wanted me to take you far away from you/ well, I never could hide when I’m crying/ because the night is burning & my soul is yearning/ & we are no match for entropy, my friend/ so I’m just trying to live the way God intended/ cause I won’t pass this way again.

 

I take my life & let it fall/ thinking of endings, staring at the wall/ wondering how did I get so small/ cause this is not a dress rehearsal/ & I am so tired to be so young/ I have too much to give to feel so numb/ but I will survive, I will become/ I’ll find this love is universal.

 

because love is life & life is pain/ it’s more trouble than it’s worth, this stuff/ it’ll make you regret a thousand things/ but still it’s never enough/ cause I will complicate you, I will dominate you/ but I will always be genuine/ I won’t know how to treat you but I will complete you/ & I will always be by your side/ cause I’m reaching for you though I don’t know who you are/ we’re no match for one another, my friend/ but all I know is if I live the way my heart intended/ I will never be the same again.

 

 

Copyright (c) 2001 by Beth Kinderman.  This is my original work, so please respect it.

 

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