23 April 2003 - 19:26

well, the move went pretty smoothly after all...

i really focused on stripping the event of any emotional baggage. went for a 3 mile walk on friday and meditated before bed for a couple hours just talking myself through it all.

me, ap, and armi barely fit in the cab f the uhaul tho hehe. that was hilarious. we were packed in there hella tight. almost ended up just riding in the back. anyway, traffic was smooth, we got to mel's, and i guess they've been repainting the outside of the building. so that was a nice distraction. there was still a lot of stuff to pack up and go through, but i got most of my things. she's still got to go through some stuff and one of these days she'll get the rest of my things to me. got most of my metal cds now, but she still wanted to go through everything else and see what she wanted to keep or have copies of. who knows when i'll get the rest. anyway, there were a few times when i could've argued with her over stuff, but i really wasn't ready to go through that so i just let things drop where they were if they came up. if she wants to fuss over things so much, then fuck it. whatever. it's just stuff. she's become so materialistic and self-centered it's sad. a lot like her mom is. exactly what she hated about her mom. i wonder if she even realizes.

i didn't even notice any evidence that she's seeing someone. later on after we'd moved things back home, ap mentioned she had a bunch of miller in the fridge and was like "wtf she start drinkin that crap?" hehe. i guess that was her friend's beer. gah. she could have at least picked a bud drinker :P american piss water blech hehe... but who am i to talk haha i enjoy a nice cold glass of piss now and then myself.

so anyway, i've got my things, and a real bed (ok, that's arguable hehe it's a futon and couch/bed frame), and i can't really complain. it's a new day. i'm still here. i'm still breathing. living. my life.

time to gather myself and move on into whatever the future holds.

cheers.