2001-04-26 - 10:15 a.m.

what a world... what a world...

why do people treat eachother like shit? don't they realize that this life has a finite destination... that we have to share this world until we die... that we die... that everything in between birth and death is precious no matter how you spend it, who you spend it with, and who's spending it... that in the end we're just empty sacks of flesh... anomylous in our belief that we can make something out of eternity...

i don't get it. every moment of every day is so beuatiful and precious... every feeling of love, pain, joy, hunger... every feeling, period.

why do we force ourselves to live behind socially constructed walls... separating eachother into categories of race, ethnicity, nationality, sex, gender, sexuality, religion, etc... why do we have to believe that any of it means more than shit?

i'm not being nihilistic. i have my beliefs and my own loves and hates, but i'm not going to say they mean any more than anyone else's... and i sure as hell am not going to go around imposing my ideals on other people...

i'm sick of people assuming things...

assuming i'm straight because i'm married... assuming i'm straight, period... assuming i'm gonna have kids... assuming my wife does the cooking and cleaning... assuming i'm the breadwinner... assuming i miss meat... etc...

assuming that what they think they know about me to be truth. there. that says it all.

why do we have to peg people into categories? it happens all the time, it's happened since the day we were born...

is it a boy or a girl?... why does it matter? it's alive! it's a precious human life! is it worth more to you one way or the other? will you not know how to treat it if i don't tell you? why do people need to know a baby's sex? i'll tell you why. they need to know so that they can begin to engender it with the roles assigned to them by mainstream society... we need to know what the sex is so that we can act accordingly... buy it the "right" color clothing... the "right" kinds of toys... talk to it differently... engender the ideals we bestow upon it...

it starts at birth and just doesn't fucking stop... and it's not confined to sex... we do this with everybody from birth to death... not only do we enforce gender norms, we enforce sexuality norms... from the get go, we sexualize children playing together... playing house, roles of husband and wife are imposed... we giggle at the thought of girls and boys playing together in the sandbox growing up and getting married... there's another norm we enforce: the institution of marriage... and yet more: eating habits (meat meat meat... gotta eat your meat or you can't have any pudding...), right-handedness (via de facto lack of access to left-handed tools and such, not so much by force anymore), classism, racial de facto segregation, etc...

why can't we just be human beings?

if there was any one wish i could have, it would be for everyone to just wake the fuck up and treat eachother as the precious living anomolies that we are...

bah... i'm babbling... i need to stop.

subvert the dominant paradigms!