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| Standing outside the crowd. My hair pulled back and wearing my favorite pants. I brush back a loose hair and carry myself forward. I tap on someone�s shoulder, trying to let myself threw. He glances back looks at my tussled hair smirks and turns back around I just stand a little confused. What am I suppose to do? I walk to the other side and try this one girl. She does the same. I stand there a minute then turn and walk away I run into someone and watch there eyes attack mine. "Watch were your going" I apologize and keep going I have never quite gotten why I don�t fit in. I�m not a bad person, I�m not that horrible on the eyes So what�s my problem? I just can�t figure it out Maybe I need to get aggressive Go back up to that one boy and push my way through Or find that other guy I ran into but this time tell him to watch were he�s going. But you see that�s just not me. I don�t fight my way through. I stand were I belong and take blame even when it�s not mine. Faults you may think but fitting doesn�t appeal all that much to me. I like to be alone. As long as someone�s in the other room. I like to read for hours at a time. Or lay on the floor letting the base of the music pump through my body. I like to watch my favorite TV shows. Laughing at their always ridiculous antic�s. You may think how pathetic. But I love being alone. As long as someone�s in the other room of course. For those moments I need to get away from me. See what the rest of the world does. Yet they almost always just look back at me, smirk and turn around. But I always try one more time. I don�t give up but I don�t fight to fit. I�m not so odd. I do need someone to say I love you. Although I rarely say it back. I want to know at least one person loves me but once again, not always enough Friends in evidentially stab me in the back so I do the same just not as brutally. I just stay cold. Nice but reluctant. But you see I need to fit somewhere just not where everyone always expects me to. I fit just right with me. So if you say I love you and I say that�s good It really means I love you but try again and I bet Ill let you through. |
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