Note to Reader:  I know the following written structures are not exactly grammatically correct but I just wanted to capture the essence of how we really think and I don't think that formality was the way to go.  So unless, you're a proofing editor -- I know you'll understand!
FRIENDSHIP
      I looked out the window and the rain was still pouring.  Pouring as hard as ever.  I paced around the living room thinking of what I could do during times like these when outdoor activities were not included as any of my choices.  It's silly but at this time of the year there shouldn't be anymore rain showers considering it will soon be summer.  A time to play outside and have fun.  There was nothing for me to do at home.  There was noone to talk to because my family had decided to go to Vegas without me.  So there I was, just my dog and I.  My dog who is resting so peacefully over by the fireplace.  I sat by the window and watched the rain hit the glass.  Drop by drop it covered and cleaned my dirty window.   Hhhmmm...that's as clean as it'll ever get. I sat there and started thinking about life; specifically about my life; how it's changed and where am I at this point in time.
       So, here I was, a second year college student, with nothing to do and noone to talk to on a rainy day.  Gosh, to think that at this point in my life, you'd think that I could just pick up the phone and tell my friends to come over and keep me company.  But somehow, that action just generates an awkward feeling.  I mean, don't get me wrong.  I have friends --- more than I want and ask for even, but somehow I realize that we really don't share that closeness.  We're friends but not really friends.  It's kinda hard to explain the concept of friendship.  At this time last year, I was with my friends hanging out at their house and though it was raining, hell it didn't bother me at all.  To tell you the truth, I don't think I remember if it was raining that day or not.  I used to hang out with a group of friends and we were inseparable.  We were together in every place we went to.  Then lately, something happened that just totally blew us up completely.  We stopped doing things together.  We stopped calling each other.  We stopped going places together.  It's as if our friendship slowly came to a halt.  We still consider each other as friends but somehow I think the meaning of our friendship has been redefined.  It seemed as though we were the ones that created a gap amongst ourselves until it became a bad habit.  We still keep in touch every so often of course.  But our friendship is not the same as it used to be.  Why?  It's a question that I mysefl cannot provide an answer to.  Did we get tired of each other?  Did we have any altercations?  No -- I don't recall of such things.  I guess when asked this question, the best answer I can give is that we didn't choose for this to happen.  To put it simply, we just grew up and in doing so grew apart.
DREAMS
   I want nothing but to feel your hand brush upon my face.  To feel your skin against mine and to be held within your arms.  To feel you breathing in my face and to feel your heartbeat next to mine.  Maybe these dreams are so farfetched that the idea of us actually being together sounds so preposterous.  However, I seem to be confused at this point of what our relationship to each other is.  My feelings for you had long been realized and you have yet to find out.  You don't know how many nights I sometimes lie awake just thinking of you.  How can I tell you without taking the chance of losing you?  There are times when I want to take advantage of the situation.   Huh...silly girl!  But then again, I think that things should not be taken out of context.  They are to be accepted for what they really are and not to be given a double meaning/.  But it's hard in my case, you know.  I've had these feelings  and I don't even know now how to get rid of them.
     I don't even know why I'm writing but here I am doing it.  I have to tell you this though because I need to vent out these emotions and it's really annoying that you're not around to hear it.  I know that I have no say in your personal life whatsoever but it really sucks that I am so powerless over all that's going on.  I like you...hell, maybe even am in love with you. There I said it.  A true, honest, sincere confession from me to you.  And I know that you've known this all along.  You're not stupid.  I know you know by the way I look at you and by the way I talk to you: that attraction to you is evident.  Yet we are two stupid people who don't want to admit to the truth.  I don't want to admit to the truth that yes -- I do like you.  And you don't want to convict me of such a theory.  Between us, we formed this invisible fantasy world of pretending to be only friends.  I don't hate you and I don't hate her.  It's beyond my power to even stop you from getting too close to her.  That's your decision and hers as well.  I don't even factor into the equation.  I'm just a floater anyway.  I hate myself  for not being able to stop these feelings toward you.  This is none of your fault and not hers either.  I just need to let you know that every time I hear about you and her, I get this piercing pain in my chest...maybe in the heart for that matter.
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