? MAYBE ? Here I go again; feeling sorry for myself as though I will never live to see another day. So I've landed on my face once more. And once again life has taught me another lesson; this time to be more cautious and not get involved all too quickly and not to trust too much and I could go on and on of course, but I'll choose not to do that. Tonight, I've decided to kind of step away from the game of love for a while. Sort of take a half time; an intermission; a time out. I'm throwing in the towel and hanging up my gloves to catch my breath and maybe sit this one out and use the time to get ready for another yet grueling season. Now what was that all about? I don't know. At the moment, I am so confused on where I stand about love. Kind of ironic really, because about a month ago, I thought I had things pretty much pegged. But hey, once again, I'm clueless. Feel as though I'm standing in the middle of nowhere, not knowing why I'm there or how I even got there in the first place. My heart bears a different opinion than my mind. It seems that my biggest crisis these days is never getting the both of them to agree. I'm still waiting for that day to come, by the way. It's 1:21 AM and Mr. Sandman hasn't shown up yet. So, I figured, I'd jot some thoughts down and clear my busy little head from all the traffic jam that's been stuck there lately. Basically, stress from a recent relationship that I really couldn't figure out. I know I probably set myself up for something like this. Sorry; my fault for being a GIRL; my fault for caring too damn much and my fault for giving 110% of myself to that person, whom I think now don't even deserve it. Aaahhhh, the story of my life, I give and give only to get nothing back. Sometimes I wonder why I even do it when I know I'll just get hurt in the end. Go figure! Way to go, li'l Miss Naive! Sometimes I find myself asking God why He even let people like that come into my life. But the answer never surfaces, of course. So it's left up to me to figure things out. Though I think I really stink at doing so. I can't make light of why I keep doing things over and over again. Sort of like history repeating itself. I've decided to let things go for now and have come to realize that stressing over this will not do me any good because I remembered hearing someone say, "If you love someone, set them free, and if they come back, then it really was meant to be; if not, then it wasn't yours to begin with." So, there you go. Maybe now the traffic jam in my head will be a little lighter. Maybe Mr. Sandman will now pay me a nightly visit from this day forward.. Maybe I'll put on those gloves and get into that ring once more. Maybe they'll allow me to stay and play for another season. And maybe that's also the time when I'll be able to get my heart and my head to agree. Yeah...MAYBE... GO BACK OR GO HOME |