Teacher: Raju, what will happen if third world war is
fought.
Raju: We will have to read one more chapter then for exams.
a sardar returns a book to the library. says 'so many charachters and no story'. librarian replies ' so it was u who took the telephone directory'!!!!
SARDAR TO A GIRL- Sunita !! I want to marry you.
SUNITA - But I'm a year older than you
SARDAR - Koi Baat Nahin! I'll marry you next year!
Girl says to her boyfriend, "One kiss and I'll be yours
forever."
Boyfriend: 'Thanks for the warning'
why 18 sardar go for a movie b,cause? below 18 was not allowed
sardar in a art-gallery.
sardar: this terrible thing you call as modern art!
dealer: i beg your pardon sir, this is a mirror
Heaven is when you have a German Car, American Salary,
Chinese Food and Indian Wife.
Hell is when car is chinese, food is German, Wife is American and Salary is
Indian.
A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?"
And the father replied, "I don't know son, I'm still paying."
Jab Dekha Unhoone Tirchi Nazaroo Se, To Hum Kayal Ho Gaye!!!
Jab Pata Chala Ki Unki Nazar Hi Tirchi Hai To Hum Gayal Ho Gaye!!!
EK KAVI SHAADI KE BAAD BIWI SE BOLA:AAJ SE TUM HI MERI
KAVITA HO ,BHAWANA HO ,KALPANA HO.
PATNI:MERE LIYE BHI AAJ SE AAP HI DINESH HO ,ROHIT HO , RAVI HO.
A Sardar was once searching for a hidden camera in his room, when his wife came and aked "Oji kya dhoondh rahe ho".Sardar replied " Camera dhoondh raha hoon.Najane ye star plus walon ko kaise pata chalta hai, Jo kehte hain, AAP DEKH RAHE HAIN STAR PLUS."
sardarji opens his lunch box on the road...why?
to confirm if he is goint to or coming from office
ONCE A MAD PERSON SAYS TO AN OTHER.MAN IM THINKING OF BUYING TAJ MAHAL.SO THE OTHER SAYS:I NOT GOING TO SELL IT
son "Dad, why did you put your thumb impression on my
report card instead of your signature"?
Father " I don't want your teacher to think that anyone with your marks
could possibly have a father who can read or write."
Teacher: Sunny, whats the chemical symbol of water?
Suuny: H, I, J, K, L, M, N, O.
Teacher: What are you talking?
Sunny: Teacher, yesterday only you told its "H to O".
Father "Did you children help your mother today ?"
First child "Yes, Daddy. I washed the dishes."
Father "Very good, Billy."
Second child "I dried them."
Father "Very good, Mary."
Third child "I picked up the pieces."
Father "....................."
(collapses)
|
|
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~11 people hanging on a rope.... |
Teacher: Tom can you define the word "Lecturer"
for me?
Tom: Lecturer is a person who has a bad habit of speaking when someone is
sleeping.
A Sardar made a suspense movie which only picturised a clock showing 12.00. When people questioned him for what was the suspense in it he told " Oh Pape !! Yahi to suspense hai ki wo Din ke baara baje hain ya Raat ke."
Beggars matrimonial: Allah ke nam pe koi ek biwi dede doosre ki nahi to apni dede, allah tujhe ek ke badle do dega hillary hogi toh monika bhi dega !!
Sardar goes to buy a colour television. Shopkeeper ask 'Sir
mayi help u.'
Sardar 'oye mujhe colour t.v. lena hai par soch raha hu konse COLOUR ka lu.
"Janeman, iss dil mei aaja".
Girl:- "Sandal nikalu kya"..?
Roadside ROMEO:- "Pagli, ye mandir thodina hai, aise hi aaja"..!!
Mr.Manoj was walking with his lamb,Mr Aman came to them and
said where you going with a dog.
Mr Manoj: You foolish,ediot that not a dog,its a lamb you blind.
Mr Aman :i don't asked u i asked from the lamb.
what did god say when he created the first negro?
oh shit! jal gaya....
A sardar made a hole in his umbrella.his friend asked why he had done that.he said so that he can see whether its raining or not.
sandy was having dinner and suddenly saw a 50 paise coin in his rice and asked his mother,Sandy:mom, what is this 50 paise coin doing in my rice?Mom:son,u said that u would stop eating if u don't find some change in the food.
TEACHER: Why are you late?
JOHNY: Because of the sign.
TEACHER: What sign?
JOHNY: The one that says, "School Ahead, Go Slow."
Once there were three friend's taking a dicussion on the
topic of swimming than
1:my father is a vrey great swimmer he dives into pacific ocean and comes out
from indian ocean .
2:ontly this much my fater he dives in atlantic ocean and comes out from our
clubs swimming pool .
3:this is nothing in front of my father he dives in our buliding's water tank
and comes out from our bathroom's tap
teacher-vikas,tum bade hokarr kya banoge???
vikas -teacher mein pilot banunga.
teacher-lekin kyo?
vikas-kyunki mere papa mujhe kehte rehte he kii tum dharti par bhoj ho!!
a woman recieves a leter opens it reads it and starts crying. when his husband asks what was the matter, she replied "your mother sent you a letter and at the end of it ,there was a message for me". it said that "dear daughter-in-law, after you have read this letter, give it to my son !!!
daughter-dad i got 300marks in my exams.
dad- very good but how you didn't work hard
daughter-yes dad ,igot 3 in maths,0 in english and 0 in hindi
One day a blond and a burnet were going in a car suddenly
the police were after them so blond asked the burnet to look behind and see if
the cops cars light is on
so burnet said-
yes ,no ,yes ,no ,yes,no.........
Teacher- What you call a person who keeps talking and no one
pays attention to him .
Student-Simple ,Teacher
one day a man was sitting in an aeroplane and next to him sitting a sardarji . after the breakfast was over the man next to sardarji was feeling very uneasy so he took out a packet of cigarette and started smoking , sardarji was very irritated by it . when he can't manage then he told to the man scarcely: xecuse me, if u want to smoke , then plz move out on the plane !
Attending a wedding for the first time,
Small girl : "Why is the bride dressed in white."
Her Mother : "Because white is the colour of happiness. Today is the
happiest day of her life."
Small girl : "Then, Why is the groom in black ?"
She ran after the garbage truck, yelling, "Am I too late for the garbage?" The driver said, "No, jump in!"
…A man from Agra went to Ajmer. His wife was in her parent's
house in
>Delhi. When the man went to Ajmer, he asked his servant to send a telegram
>to his wife indicating about his trip to Ajmer. He sent a
>telegram. When the wife received the telegram, she fainted. It was
>written:
>
>'Sethji aaj mar gaye ! (Sethji Ajmer gaye).
In a classroom, the Maths teacher asked a student to do a
sum. He did it wrongly. So the teacher taught him the sum and asked him to do
it 10 times. After a while,
Student: I did as you said Madam.
Teacher: Very good. Show it to me.
Student: There is one problem
Teacher:What happened?
Student:I got different answers each time.
There is a lawyer and a doctor, both have same girlfriend. one day lawyer was leaving out of town for a week, he gave seven apples to his girlfriend. WHY? bcoz 'an apple a day, keeps the doctor away'!
Two boys met each other, one is very fair and other is very dark, the dark one ask to fair one,"which face creme you are using?" he said"fair & lovely!". then he ask to dark one,"which face creme you are using?" he replied,"cherry blossom(shoe polish)!".
A man went into a drug store and asked the pharmacist to
give him
something for the hiccups. The pharmacist promptly reached out and slapped the
man's face.
"What did you do that for?" the man asked in a rage.
"Well, you don't have the hiccups anymore do you?"
The man said, "No, but my wife out in the car still does!"
A Surdarji was going by train from Delhi to Bombay. He kept
getting off at every station to buy a ticket till the next station. When the
train
reached Delhi, the Surd's co-passengers asked him why he kept on buying tickets
instead of buying a ticket for the entire. The Surd
replied that his doctor had advised him against taking long journeys.
(sick one!!)
Wife: U delivered an excellent speech.
Hubby: Thanks dear, but the audience was full of fools & idiots.
Wife: Is that why u addressed them as your brothers & sisters?
One Sadarji in Plane is Continously sneezing till one
Air-Hostess asks-
Air Hostess: Sardarji are you suffering from fever?
Sadarji: No Dear I am suffering from Bombay to Bhatinda.
When a wife was asked: What book do you like the best?
She answers: My husband's cheque book..