4PM START: BRETTS at HERRINGSThe 4pm afternoon Modano game features Steve Johnson’s Bretts, who ended their ’07 campaign one win shy of back-to-back Modano titles. With the opportunity in their own hands in the final week of the season, the Bretts fell, and fell hard, 96-71 to the eventual champion Cubists. With the coppery taste of defeat fresh in his mouth, Johnson vowed to find a way to return to the top of the Modano landscape in 2008. He started by signing his three high profile RB’s to long-term contracts. 2006 MVP LaDanian Tomlinson returns with cohorts Joseph Addai and Steven Jackson. Taking a page from the Boston Celtics winning ways, they have dubbed themselves the Three Amigos and hope to stay healthy enough this season to all play in the same game more than they did in ’07. Big Ben Roethlisberger takes the reigns of this three-headed monster, looking to distribute evenly while keeping his mistakes to a minimum. Marques Colston returns to the Bretts after a year in BC and is joined by the skilled and underrated duo of Greg Jennings and Dwayne Bowe. The talented defense is anchored by LB Karlos Dansby and DeMarcus Ware and should be a strength again. But, and there is always a but, the Bretts have several X-factors. Mercurial TE Jeremy Shockey is on the roster and unproven RB’s Selvin Young and rookie Rashard Mendenhall look to have bright futures and could play a major factor in who walks away with Modano gold this year if they quickly live up to their potential. Should they bust, the depth behind the three amigos will be lacking. The biggest X-factor of all though will be the departure of Hall Of Fame QB and namesake Brett Favre to BC. Favre improbably led the Bretts, after not even being drafted in ’07, and his leadership, charisma, locker room presence, and all around brilliance are sure to be missed. One inebriated, helmet-less motorcycle accident does not an inbred hillbilly moron make, and Roethlisberger has immense shoes to fill. Expectations are slightly different for Charlie Mitchell who nimbly guided his Red Herrings to a top half of the standings finish in ’07, his first full season of rough and tough Modano football. While his roster can’t boast of the type of immense talent that the Bretts have, they are led by a dynamic duo of their own in returning RB’s Brian Westbrook and Laurence Maroney. They both hope to improve off strong showings last season in an effort to boost the Herrings into title contention. The immensely talented WR Andre Johnson also returns, but instead of catching passes from Sneaky Pete Winner QB Derek Anderson, this year Charlie Mitchell heeded the siren call and signed Carson Palmer to lead his club. Many an owner has viewed that sweet videotape and seen the majestic throws from Palmer’s golden arm only to be thrashed upon the rocks of wild week-to-week inconsistency. Perhaps this is the year that Palmer puts it all together week in and week out. If not, back-up Marc Bulger will be ready to step in. Mitchell showed an affinity for playing two QB’s depending on match-ups last season so that’s something worth keeping an eye on. Either way, a popular receiving threat will be new TE Kellen Winslow, fresh off a talented Envy team. In fact, both Palmer and Winslow, the top two Herring draft picks, spent last year with the Envy and Mitchell hopes their chemistry continues to develop. His third pick was speedy rookie RB Felix Jones who will undoubtedly score three TD’s in week 1 or 2 and then go scoreless for the rest of the season. Vegas sees this game with the Bretts as -11 point road favorites, but the Herrings will be looking to their opening day crowd and new QB Carson Palmer to humble LT and his mates.
1PM START: ENVY at CORONERSHeadlining the early starts, Perry Missner leads his Envy to Oakland to face the ever-hopeful and oft-controversial Coroners. The 2007 story of the Envy has been well documented this off-season, highlighted by the made for ESPN movie, “What Was He Thinking: The Perry Missner Story,” which chronicled the questionable move of the Envy from their beloved Wisconsin roots to the swamps and floods of turbulent Louisiana. A 1-6 finish after the move followed the spectacular 8-1 start the club got off to. While Missner was quick to blame QB Carson Palmer last year, subjecting him to a near-death hug from Envy celeb hanger-on Nell Carter after the season, many team insiders blamed the final collapse on the release of heart and soul LB Brian Urlacher near the end of the year. It was widely assumed that while Palmer would not return, Missner would make the peace with Urlacher and return the lifelong Envy captain to the squad. But in a clear sign that the past is past and a new red dawn is blooming in the bayou, Missner refused to bring back the longtime captain. The Wondertwins, Edgerrin James and Willis McGahee, return as does heralded youngster Marshawn Lynch. Instead of Palmer, Missner drafted long-time Syracuse QB Donovan McNabb and told him just to go out there and do his thing. That thing should include a lot of connections with WR TJ Houshmanzadeh and TE Dallas Clark. Missner also hopes that one of his four tough LB’s will embrace a leadership role with the squad and make the fans forget the absence of Urlacher, with longtime understudy Lance Briggs expected to step up and take over. So while turmoil and questions surround this ’08 version of the Envy, fortune has perhaps smiled on them a little as late round draft pick Kenny Watson suddenly seems like a fortuitous selection and the product of fine work by the talented Envy scouting department. Sadly, fortune rarely seems to smile on Chad Nuss and his Coroner franchise. Another last place finish earned him another top pick in a Modano draft. This year though, a player of stature, promise and untapped talent sat a top most team’s draft boards, and best of all for Nuss, he was a local and loyal member of Raider nation. So when Commissioner Tugwell stepped to the podium to announce this year’s first pick in the Modano Entry Draft, the entire universe expected to hear the name Darren McFadden. When the name Ryan Grant escaped Tugwell’s mouth, a hushed gasp momentarily overcame the audience only to be broken by the stunned screams of Will Mitchell, whose Wookies picked second. Doing his best Usain Bolt impression, Mitchell screamed, “DARREN MCFADDEN,” over and over as he sprinted to the podium to get his pick in before Chad could change his mind. After another moment’s pause to digest what had really taken place, a riot erupted that makes Italian soccer seem like a pre-school T-Ball game. Every subsequent Coroner selection was roundly booed and escorted quickly off-stage until Nuss appeased the fans in round 6 with LB Kirk Morrison. Two more Raiders followed in rounds 7 and 8, but when Tugwell announced the name Osi Umenyiora in round 9, the incensed fans screamed No, NO, NOOOO!, rushed the stage, and used one of the many maces they had on hand to shatter Umenyiora’s leg in seventeen places, rendering him useless for the remainder of the season. Fortunately, in true Coroner fashion, he remains not just on the roster but in the Coroner opening day starting lineup as is suspended second round selection WR Steve Smith. Vegas has this one with the Envy as -14 favorites on the road, and unless Ryan Grant runs for 4 or more TD’s, the over/under on Coroner fans remaining by the end of the game stands at 14 as well.
1PM START: 44’s at BALLBUSTERSThe Cubists were deserving champions, the Bretts were an unfortunate second, and the Envy held the media’s attention with their melt down, but a fact that went largely unrecognized last season was that the under .500 44’s were the highest scoring team in Modano. They take that meaningless record into Massachusetts to face long time multi-sport rival Rich Joseph and his Ballbusters in the most evenly matched game of the opening week. Injuries and a defense that allowed 200 more points than the Bretts contributed to their record, but the truth is that the 44’s have been a sub-.500 team for years and excuses have run out for owner John Stoer. But Stoer seems to think he has run into a winning formula for ’08, thanks to the roster turnover with the Envy. When the Envy released LB Brian Urlacher last season, the 44’s quickly swiped him up, and he teamed with and mentored rookie LB Patrick Willis, who would go on to win both Rookie of the Year as well as Defensive Player of the Year. So when the ’08 draft came around, Stoer spent two high draft choices on the two defenders hoping to turn a glaring weakness into a dominating strength. Willis and the newly named 44’s captain Urlacher reunite to form the top defensive duo in Modano. Stoer also hopes that returning RB’s Adrian Peterson and Larry Johnson can unite to become a top offensive duo. With a wealth of terrific WR’s like Reggie Wayne, Torry Holt and returnee Plaxico Buress, the real question for Stoer’s club will be whether young QB Jay Cutler can lead this unit. The divisive addition of me-first ganja king Ricky Williams to the clubhouse can not be a positive influence, but Stoer is hoping that his on-field talent will outweigh his off-field issues and help lead this team to a possible long awaited return to the elite of the Modano world. And while the 44’s are yet again full of potential, Rich Joseph has once again prepared his Ballbusters to fly under the media radar and into a chance at his first Modano title. Star QB and pitchman extraordinaire Peyton Manning returns to keep his uniform immaculate while throwing 30+ TD’s. WR Terrell Owens returns to catch more than half of them. And the surrounding cast is impressive indeed, led by WR’s Wes Welker, Braylon Edwards, and Roddy White and TE Jason Witten. The question surrounding the Busters will be their running game. Led by the aging but capable Thomas Jones and Fred Taylor, it’s going to be a boom or bust unit. The broken Deuce McAllister fits in nicely on the bench keeping the crutches warm. The defense also is a question mark featuring an unconventional three DB set featuring none other that PacMan Jones. Drafted by Joseph and inserted into the starting lineup before he was even reinstated to play in the league, Joseph either has powerful foresight, brass balls made for gambling, or a combination of the two. Still, Jones is an unproven Modano player who might need some time to acclimate himself to the league. Indeed, his addition, as well K Nick Folk, brings the Cowboy quotient on the Buster squad to 4/17, a fact that will be impossible to go unnoticed. The Vegas line is a pick ‘em, the Modano game of the week on paper, and both teams will be looking to get off to a good start in a tough opening day battle.
1PM START: WOOKIES at BULL in the CITY The final early start pits two teams searching for past magic. Perhaps the most amazing statistic coming from the 2007 season is that it was the first losing season in the storied history of the BC franchise. A soul searching Randy Chambers took to the open road this off-season in a search for some way to inspire his team back to greatness. He consulted monks and ministers, read books by Sun Tzu and Carl Sagan, pitched a tent outside Joe Gibbs’ house in hopes that some wisdom would pass via proximity, but nothing worked and he returned to his Durham, North Carolina home a broken and desperate man. Content to drink and watch the Olympics, he resigned himself to another down year in Modano football. But when the US Basketball team defeated China in the opening game, inspiration struck Chambers. The 2008 BC team would be his version of a “Redeem Team.” With Duke’s very own Coach K now hired as a consultant, BC is looking to return to past glory. The Kobe Bryant of this team is QB Drew Brees who will look to make everyone better first and take his own shots second. Scorers return in RB’s Clinton Portis and Frank Gore. Youthful RB Michael Turner will hope to make an impact given his first regular minutes as a Modano starter. Captain Hiney, Hines Ward, returns, bringing with him perhaps the only starting WR older than himself, Hall-of-Famer Marvin Harrison who certainly has more than a few TD receptions left in those hands of his. BC favorite Lofa Tatupu returns as well, playing the role of Tayshaun Prince as defensive disruptor. But as was mentioned much earlier, the true story of this team is the addition of Brett Favre and how he will fit Drew Brees. Perhaps injuries or poor play will determine the course of events, but the QB controversy in BC is THE storyline of this team. Then again, perhaps third string QB Aaron Rodgers, the Michael Redd of the team, will get some minutes and prove him self worthy. That’s only if backup RB LenDale White doesn’t get too bored on the bench and eat him first. Chambers is hoping that White turns out to be the next Jerome Bettis, a leader in the BC glory days. The Redeem Team’s first matchup will be to host his long ago co-worker Will Mitchell and his Wookies. The Wookies earned a reputation in 2007 as having the “loosest locker room in football.” Much, if not all, of that was spurred by all-pro WR Randy Moss and his adjacent lockers full of weed. In fact, marijuana smoke was so prevalent in the Wookie locker room that they had more press badge requests than any other Modano team. That influx of media “scrutiny” led to a division amongst the players, who would read in the papers all the positive things about Moss or RB Jamal Lewis but negative things about those who were not “partaking in the interview process.” Moss and the oddly reinvigorated Lewis return in 2008 to lead the team again, while all the straight dudes have been replaced with players Mitchell hopes are much cooler. He was thrilled to nab Derek Anderson from his brother and is pretty darn sure that another year under Moss’ tutelage will help WR Calvin Johnson. If Randy’s influence isn’t enough, Santana Moss has also been brought in to provide some prime weed, thanks to his connections at The U. The lone returning dissenter from last years squad is TE Antonio Gates, and while the Mosses, no, let’s go with the Mossi, will look to tune him in and turn him on, it’s unlikely a player of Gates determination is likely to stay with the team if he struggles out of the gate. With all that said, the new kid on the block, Darren McFadden, is likely to determine the path of this franchise in the future. If he lives up to his hype, and his owner’s breathless rush to select him at the draft, the Wookies could be a dangerous team in 2008. The talent on this team is self-evident. Whether they can keep it together or not is another question. Breakout seasons from Calvin Johnson and Darren McFadden would go a long to way to taking the Wookies back to where they want to be. They have so much talent on paper that Vegas has installed them as -16 point road favorites. Will the Redeem Team rally at home or will three yards and a cloud of “smoke” be enough for the Wookies?
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