Week 1 Previews
Week 1 Previews Summer is ending and fall has begun. The sight of pigskins flying through the air and the sound of recaps being typed out are commonplace now. Can it really be 2006? Are we ready for some football? Indeed, we are. Week One treats us to a number of interesting matchups, including the champ being in the house. Owner Randy Chambers and his Bull City (now) Baers begin the season with their whipping boy Owner Dan Weitz and his hated Weaselicious Cookies. The new season brings great change to the Baers who are without their former Minnesota connection QB Daunte Culpepper and WR Randy Moss. They do have the reigning La-la-la-laFontaine MVP award winner Shaun Alexander, who put up 34 points in the two meetings against the Cookies last year. Hines Ward and Torry Holt are also back for the Baers (who may sound like sheep: baa-ers). Chambers is particularly excited about new QB Drew Brees who may have to overcome his own injured shoulder and the anemic Saints offense. WR Brandon Lloyd is a starter? The Baers are 5-3 in Week Ones and swept the 2004 series against the Cookies, who last beat Bull City in Week 15 of 2005. Other than the recent announcement of the Einar as Deputy Commissioner, the offseason has been rather sedate for Weitz. He took up Tai Chi and yoga to center his great anger in a more productive fashion. The Cookies lineup is dotted with common names: Johnson (Andre), Jones (Kevin and Julius), and Taylor (Fred). They also have a Vanderjagt. Keeper Deuce McAllister and his brother Duce Staley are on the bench. Weitz has dedicated his season to the starving children in Africa. The 2005 runner up, the Brentless Brents take on fellow Packer backer the Belarussian Blatz. The teams split their inaugural series in 2005 with Owner Josh Kowalske happily taking RB Larry Johnson off the Brents and using him to gain a 9-8 record. The Brents, after having some championship hopes, choked the season away with four consecutive losses to close. Owner Steve Johnson had to like what he saw from QB Carson Palmer in the preseason, even if it was against the overmatched Packer defense. Stephen Jackson and LaDainian Tomlinson are back and will be backed by former-Brent keeper Chris Brown and new guy on the block Wali Lundy. Steve Smith is questionable with a hamstring injury. The Blatz have Bubbie and a trio of Colts (rarely a bad thing) in Dominick Rhodes, Marvin Harrison, and Reggie Wayne. Kowalske will get things started early with Chris Chambers playing on Thursday. A pair of former champions face off when the Cubists meet the Busters. Owner Jason Moore has already soured on 2006 because keeper RB Dominick Davis has been declared out for the season. Even the sight of Reggie Bush skipping around the gridiron did not bring a smile to Moore�s face as he swallowed a bug and started coughing. Lest we weep for the Cubists, they do have the excellent receiving duo of Terrell Owens and Larry Fitzgerald who will now receive pinpoint precision passing from Tom Brady. The Busters, who�ve beaten the Cubists five times in six tries, welcome back Peyton Manning and Tony Gonzalez. Sadly, Owner Rich Joseph is sure to lose after naming Ahole �Put it on the� Green and Nick Barnett starters. Surely, there has to be better players available than those jokers. With a baseball matchup just concluded and another matchup possibly next week, the owners of the Wookies and Envy are already at odds. What�s one more matchup to boot? Last year, the Wookies won in Week 8 (91-121), while the Envy beat half a squad in Week 17 (69-38). Daunte Culpepper makes his first non-Baer start and has two runners from �the U� backing him up, Edgerrin James and Willis McGahee. Chad Johnson and Roy Williams are set to take Daunte�s depth charges. Brian and the silent assassins (Shelton and Shawne) will be taking aim at the statuesque Drew Bledsoe, a Wookie stalwart since 1994. The Wookies, who lead the series 7-5, also have Rudi Johnson and Corey Dillon ready to run, but Keyshawn Johnson and Derrick Mason don�t seem all that scary. Finally, the 44�s and Coroners met for 16th time, with 10 of those meetings going to Syracuse. Owner John Stoer has seen what looked like a fine crew of runners be depleted by injury. It�s good to get those injuries out of the way early in the season. Injuries be damned, he is going with an O-flex of Clinton Portis, Jamal Lewis, and Brian Westbrook with Frank Gore occupying the RB slot. QB Kurt Warner, the 1999 MVP award winner, will take aim toward Randy Moss and Ben Watson (an excellent pickup). Owner Chad Nuss hopes that ball control, defense, and kicking will help get the 2006 season started properly (both teams are 3-5 in previous Week Ones). Tiki Barber, Cadillac Williams, and Willie Parker are back and top pick Ronnie Brown is ready to go. Nuss is starting just one more Raider than Stoer.
------------------------Roadkill Blues Press------------------------------