2006 Modano Mi Hermano Draft Recap

As is usually the case, the 2006 draft opened with some major announcements. First, the results of the college supplementary draft were posted (and will be revealed later). Second, a major trade went down between hated rivals the Envy and Brents with the Envy sending top scoring WR Steve Smith and their first pick (number four) for RB Edgerrin James and the rights to the ninth pick. Owner Steve Johnson called the trade offer the surprise of the draft. Finally, Commissioner Tugwell made his way to the podium and knocked the socks of the league members by naming a Deputy Commissioner, whose area of expertise would be discipline. That Deputy Commissioner�s name: former Owner Steve �the Einar� Olsen. The Deputy Commissioner�s first act: forcing arch nemesis Owner Dan Weitz and his Weaselicious Cookies to give up the rights to the first pick and give those rights to the County Coroners. Yes, that�s exactly how it happened. Weitz was furious but knew he had to concentrate so as to not end up in the basement again in 2006. He figured he�d still get his guy because the Coroners were stocked with runners and could use a decent WR. Owner Chad Nuss proved Weitz�s thinking incorrect as he chose a fourth runner, RB Ronnie Brown (9/33), who played sparingly for the Cubists last year after being their second round draft pick. Owner Jason Moore lamented that he should have kept Brown over now broken RB Dominick Davis. Meanwhile, Weitz fumed because he had been planning to take Brown to team with Julius Jones and Deuce McAllister. He was so put out that he blurted out the first name that came to mind, RB Kevin Jones (8/37), last year�s second pick who justified that status by crapping in the 44�s bed. An astonished Einar said, �Geeze, Dan, I knew you were taking this hard, but Kevin Jones � are you giving up already?� To which, Weitz answered by making the Kobe Bryant bobblehead dance. With gaping gaps to fill, Owner Rich Joseph took the best player available, WR Anquan Boldin (10/108), who was a third round choice of the Brents last year. However, Boldin was cut when he refused to snort like a pig for incumbent QB Brent Farf and did all of his damage for the Wookies. The Brents made quick work with their trade by opting for QB Carson Palmer (16/280), last year�s top QB and second leading scorer. Palmer would certainly have been kept by the Wookies if he had not blown out his knee in the playoffs against Pittsburgh. Word on the street is that Palmer may have had some bionics implanted in his knee, but whether that is factual remains to be seen. Needless to say, Palmer is a major, major upgrade on what has passed for a QB on the Brent squad for years. The Brents, by the way, were named as having the best keepers by every owner responding to the draft questionnaire. Owner Perry Missner said, �I think the Brents had the best keepers � even after our trade. Two top ten runners and the league�s leading WR scorer from last year. Solid.� Another former Cubists runner and disappointment in 2005 came off the board as the 44�s chose former San Francisco keeper RB Jamal Lewis (10/29). Missner had more to say on this pick, �The Jamal Lewis pick surprised me. I think I had him going in the third or fourth round of my mock draft. He was lousy last season and has only had one really good season.� The Cubists nearly faked everyone out by almost finishing the spelling of Reuben Drough� before Moore changed his mind and took the 2005 Envy and second round pick QB Tom Brady (14/195). He may be the top QB in Cubist history if he holds to form. Mitchell punched himself in the head at the selection of Brady, shouting, �Idiot me! I passed on him in the first round, thinking I could get him in the second.� Ah well, the truth is that you never had a chance at taking him, so don�t feel so bad, Will. The committee selected WR Reggie Wayne (14/93) for the Blatz so that the Belarussians will have an excellent receiving trio with Wayne, WR Marvin Harrison, and WR Chris Chambers. Owner Will Mitchell selected RB Cedric Benson (2/3), a sixth round pick of the 44�s a year ago (who were surprised at the pick), cut and picked up by the Brents, traded to the Envy for RB Larry Johnson, where he languished all season long. Benson may be great or may not get a chance to show off his skills due to other Bear runners and his own inability to stay healthy. Mitchell probably figured he was screwing Missner, when Missner�s intent all along was to screw Owner Randy Chambers by snatching QB Daunte Culpepper (8/53), who had a tough 2005 season. Culpepper was reborn as Dolphin and like Palmer before him may have had some knee-related bionic implants that helped him recover from severe ligament tears. Bionics! Missner said, �Culpepper may or may not work out, but I was glad to get him away from the Bares finally (even though I could have had him last year for Brady).� Chambers said he was heartbroken over �seeing Daunte & Carson go in the first nine picks.� Perhaps this year he won�t win so he can have the pleasure of drafting somewhere other than 10th. He went back to the tried and true by opting for RB Warrick Dunn (12/97), who something of surprise as a second round pick of the Baers last year.

The Coroners opened the second round with a mild surprise by selecting QB Jake Delhomme (8/83) who stewarded the Daunte-less Baers to a championship in 2005 after being an 8th round selection for Chambers. The Cookies continued their stock of potential-laden runners with DeShaun Foster (6/65), a first round bust for the Wookies before being salvaged off the trash heap by the Envy for a decent late season run (5/52). Joseph continued his philosophy of best player available by bringing back 2005 surprise Santana Moss (14/113), who was an 11th round choice of the Cubists in 2005 before becoming something with the Busters. As usual, Missner took the first defensive player off the board with LB Brian Urlacher (15/130). He stuck with his plan that had been carefully made prior to the draft, but he has hence thought that he �could have waited another round and taken Chester Taylor to form a decent three-headed monster.� A surprised Owner John Stoer said the Urlacher selection surprised him, �Not surprised by the player, surprised by the round.� He calmly selected Taylor (1/2), now the Vikings starter, who played one game for the Cubists last year. Missner commented, �Fortunately, the 44�s made up for [taking Lewis in the first round] by taking Taylor in the second round. They should have an interesting running crew.� Portis, Westbrook, Lewis, and Taylor � lots of possibilities. What Moore hinted at in the first round became an actuality in Round Two as he selected RB Reuben Droughns (16/112), who was a pleasant surprise for the Coroners last year after being an 11th round pick. The Blatz stocked their QB slot with Matt Hasselbeck (7/122), who was a part time QB for the Cubists last year after being an 8th round selection. No one holds a clipboard like Hasselbeck! The puzzle then started coming together as Mitchell opted for old favorite Drew Bledsoe (5/48), who played five games for the Cookies in 2005 and had not been selected since 2004 (also by the Wookies). Bledsoe said that he has forgiven Mitchell for past waivings, but he has not forgotten them. Bledsoe then instructed team management to choose retired TE Ben Coates with their next selection. When informed that the team already had TE Antonio Gates, Bledsoe remained steadfast, saying, �I don�t know who this Gates fellow is, but he is no Ben Coates. There is only one Ben Coates and I demand that you put him on this team or else I promise to be as petulant as one of my receivers in Dallas. I promise you that!� Bledsoe then commenced doing situps on his driveway. Johnson looked to replace Edgerrin James with the Colts rookie RB Joseph Addai. With six quarterbacks off the board already, Chambers selected the Coroners� 2005 starter, Drew Brees (13/154) who had common labrum surgery after the season. No bionics as Brees spent all of his petty cash putting an ad in the New Orleans newspaper, welcoming himself to the beleaguered city.

The third round began as a WR run for teams that had not selected one yet, and ended up with a TE run. The Coroners became the second straight team to select WR Darrell Jackson (5/38) in the third round, following the Wookies, who were no doubt disappointed by their receiver in 2005. Apparently, Weitz was not disappointed enough in WR Andre Johnson (5/5), who was a second round pick of the Cookies in 2005, to let him pass by again. Johnson also appeared in a game with the Brents, but was unable to score. The Busters continued to the draft theme of bringing back the old players by returning long time keeper TE Tony Gonzalez (15/61). At least he knows the playbook. The Envy took their first WR of the draft, Roy Williams (9/57) of the Lions, figuring that mad genius Mike Martz would know what to do with him. Williams was a fourth round choice of the Wookies in 2005 and played averagely. The 44�s made their second mistake in three rounds (according to some), opting for broken WR Javon Walker (1/1) who rewarded the Blatz with his keeper status by being knocked out for the season in Week One. The one good thing that can be said about Walker is at least he wanted out of Green Bay, indicating that he has at least a modicum of sense. However, he carries the taint as well as reportedly negative Wonderlic score, so he will continue to be known as �Post,� as in dumb as a� Moore tried to decipher the Bronco RB situation by choosing RB Tatum Bell (9/40), a second round choice of the Blatz last year, but who did most of his playing for the 44�s (7/37). He�s fast, but Mike Shanahan doesn�t seem to trust him. The Blatz started the TE run with Jeremy Shockey (15/97), a starter for the Envy for the last two years and last year�s second leading tightend scorer. Shockey immediately screamed for joy, then rammed his head into the nearest wall, causing a concussion. He then began chattering about how great he was. The second straight Giant was selected by Mitchell in WR Plaxico Burress (12/89), who was a Brent last year after being selected in the 7th round. Speaking of the Brents, they filled their TE slot with Todd Heap (10/43), who disappointed the 44�s after being a 9th round selection, but who played acceptably with the Blatz (5/35). The Baers ended the round by bringing back TE Chris Cooley (11/62), who was picked off the waiver wire by the Busters last year before making his way to Bull City and playing well (9/48). The Cooley selection caused Missner to whine, �I was hoping to get Cooley in the fourth round. He should be awfully good in the Saunders offense.� Chambers noted that the Cooley pick made him the happiest.

The second defensive player went off the board to start the fourth round when Owner Chad Nuss selected LB Jonathan Vilma (16/155), last year�s Don Sweeney Defensive Player of the Year. While the Jets are sure to be horrible again this year and Vilma should see a lot of time on the field, his effectiveness may be reduced somewhat by the new 3-4 alignment. Tried and true. Tried and true. The Cookies chose Jason Witten (15/84), who had a solid season in 2005, although maybe not worthy of the keeper status he had coming in. Joseph continued to give Peyton Manning targets with the Busters� third WR, TJ Houshmandzadeh (9/69), and fourth pass catcher in four rounds. Housh was a 10th round pick of the Brents last year, but had the most success with the Envy (5/45). Speaking of those media darlings, the Envy may have made a nice value pick with RB Thomas Jones (14/117), who was a fourth round pick of the Busters last year. Jones may be the starter for the Bears, at least to open the season, making him a slightly better pick than the Wookies� Benson. The second rookie RB was chosen by the 44�s in DeAngelo Williams after Owner Randy Chambers renounced his rights to the Panther back. Seeing as he was almost sure to go before that 7th pick, some would call that an odd choice by Chambers, but we�ve learned not to question the champ�s methods. At least some of them. Stoer commented, �Rookie back-up RB in rd 4 is a reach. Now just waiting for DeShaun to tweak that hammy.� The Cubists brought old friend Donnie Edwards (16/149) back from Bull City where he anchored the Baer defense in 2005. Edwards is reportedly on the trading block from the Chargers and unhappy being in San Diego. Maybe if he can get his head straight, he�ll be able to put up his usual numbers. Moore thought Edwards was his biggest reach, but �he was happy to bring home a fan favorite.� The Blatz continued to raid the Colt closet, taking Dominick Rhodes (1/3), who appeared in one game for the Envy and was last drafted in 2002 as a 8th round pick of the Busters. Owner Will Mitchell tried to make his QB happy by picking another disgruntled and possibly soon-to-be ex-Pat in WR Deion Branch (11/66), a fifth round selection of the Wookies a year ago. Bledsoe continued to do situps. At least he�s toning his abs. Knowing enough about knee bionics, Owner Steve Johnson decided that now was the best time to nab a backup QB, so he selected Carson Palmer�s backup with the Wookies in 2005, Eli Manning (1/4). Manning proved to be a wonderful bench player and tease, but when he finally got a chance to helm the Wookies, he put up a less than thrilling score. Manning may be much more successful in 2006 if he adopts his brother�s pre-snap chicken dancing. That chicken dancing, by the way, is much more effective than a fake throw five second after the ball has already been handed off � a trick that past Brent QB�s offered up repeatedly. Johnson noted, �I�m glad I have two solid quarterbacks.� The Baers started their defense with LB Keith Bulluck (16/144), who actually refuses to answer to the name Kevin. Imagine that. Bulluck helped the Brent D-flex gain respectability last year and has been a consistent defensive performer for a few years now.

The early QB run continued as the Coroners selected their backup for starter Delhomme with Mark Bulger (8/125). Bulger was picked at the end of the third round last year by the Cubists and was successful in the first half of the season before breaking down. We�ll have to see how the move across the bay affects him. The Cookies continued to corner the market on injury prone runners by taking Fragile Fred Taylor (10/64), who went from an Envy keeper to a Blatz flex member last year. If Weitz has any runners left by Week Five, he�ll be in good standing. If you�d like to mark the point at which the Busters draft began to fall off a cliff, you can do it by noting in Round Five, Joseph selected Ahole �Put it on the� Green (6/22), another failed keeper of the Blatz. Green is clearly breaking down (mentally too, if you�ve seen his new beard) and the Packer offensive line looks to be just awful. The guess is that Green is the first player drafted in the first five rounds who is cut. Awful pick. The Envy made a speculative pick with Joe Horn (5/18), who may have had his best days already, but he could combine with Drew Brees for some sort of comeback. Horn was a complete bust for the Brents last year as a first round pick and also played a couple of games for the 44�s. The 44�s continued to reap value with Joey Galloway (11/87), who was last drafted by the Cookies in 2004. Galloway had a comeback year of his own in 2005 for the Busters. Stoer commented, �He had more points last year than Moss or Holt or Boldin and I got him in rd 5. Pleased.� The bell rang for the second time for the Cubists as they selected rookie Mike Bell, who may or may not be the starter for the Broncos. Moore noted, �I am relieved, I grabbed Mike Bell and not just Tatum.� Of course, when Ron Dayne starts, Moore will be upset again. The Blatz began their defensive with three time Sweeney award winner, Ray Lewis (6/50). Lewis had a mediocre season for the Cubists in 2005 before succumbing to a litany of maladies. Ray then complained all offseason about the Ravens� defensive front. He�s gone from a winner/murderer to a whiner. Mitchell believes the hype that the McNair-Derrick Mason (6/30) will rule the AFC Southeast again. Mason was a fourth round selection of the Brents last year, but never made much of a dent. Tried and sometimes true, the Brents went with Chris Brown (8/46), a former Brent keeper. If Brown can stay healthy, he could be a value pick here, but he has not enjoyed good healthy through his career. Chambers ended the round by selecting Keenan McCardell (15/87), who was last drafted in 2004 by the Busters. McCardell had a fairly surprising year for the Blatz and could be a nice backup for Ward and Holt.

The Coroners became the first team to select two defensive players by giving a nod to London Fletcher (8/82), a 7th round choice of the Cookies who had more success in the Cubist system (6/68) than he did for the overbearing Weasel. Owner Jason Moore applauded all of the �early Coroner/non-Raider picks.� That Weasel took Keith Brooking (15/114), another 2005 Cookie, who had a decent season last year. With all of the Cookies that Weitz brought back, you�d have thought the 2005 team was a bit more successful. After naming seven or eight players who had already been selected, a flustered Joseph went back to the tried and true by selecting the first kicker off the board � Adam Vinatieri (10/65). The now Colts kicker was a 7th round choice of the Busters last year before turning coat and kicking for the Wookies for a few games. Since signing a huge contract with Indianapolis, it was revealed that Vinatieri has a broken bone in his foot (which happens to be important for a kicker). Is Adam still working for the Pats on the sly? The Envy chose their backup QB in Philip Rivers, who has barely played in his NFL career. However, if he�s as good as Drew Brees, he might be a value pick as a backup. Chambers noted, �having watched Philip Rivers play four years of college ball (yes, I admit, I do watch a little minor league football), I was hopeful to pick up the kid.� The 44�s started their defensive choices with LB Mike Peterson (13/113), a 12th round selection of the Cookies last year who made his way to Syracuse and produced (9/86). The Cubists made their first major gaffe of the draft by selecting Donald Driver (11/75), a sixth round choice of the Busters a year ago. Yes, I know that Brent Farf has to throw it someone, but Driver is sure to be a bust. He�s more like an 11th rounder. The Blatz nabbed Lee Evans (5/17), an all or nothing guy who did more nothing than all for the Cookies last year after being selected in the fifth round. He also appeared in a pair of games for the Blatz, scoring an average of eight points, so he knows the Kowalske system. The Wookies took WR Keyshawn Johnson (3/4), who appeared in a trio of games for the Busters in 2005. He was not drafted last year, but was a 8th round selection of the Coroners in 2004. Johnson, who happens to be an egotist and a big, fat liar, might make Mitchell sorry for choosing him. The Brents made a nice speculation pick with Matt Jones (1/0), who appeared in a game with the Wookies last year. Jones, who is not related to Brent Jones, has a lot of skillz, but is still learning the wide receiver position. If he gets all educated up, he could be a find for the Brents. The Baers took their second consecutive WR in D�onte Stallworth (9/71), who always seems to be on the cusp of something greater. He was drafted by the Busters last year in the final round of the draft, but did all of his playing for the Cookies. Maybe the move to Philly will fulfill, Stallworth�s potential.

Finally, we get to the college supplementary draft round. The supplementary draft was adored by some (the Cubists), hated by others (people who never watched college football), and pushed through by the powers that be. Deputy Commissioner Einar ruled that the 2006-07 version of the draft would the last, but the repercussions may be heard for years to come. In any case, the Coroners forfeited the rights to TE Marcedes Lewis (who went undrafted) and snatched up WR Terri Glenn (11/72), who had a surprising season for the Wookies. Girl Glenn was last drafted in 2002 in the second round by the Losers. He had since acquired a certain taint and been recoupled with his Big Tuna. The Cookies � to no one�s surprise � relinquished the rights to K Jan and Dean and selected a backup for Donovan McNabb in QB Byron Leftwich, who was drafted in the 9th round by the Envy last year but never appeared in a game. The Busters had drafted Lions RB Brian Calhoun by proxy in the supplemental draft, but decided to let the former Badger go and selected QB Michael Vick (6/45), a first round pick of the Losers a year ago, and a guy who never seems to reach his potential. He does seem like a decent backup of Peyton Manning, especially as a change of pace. The Envy did not hold onto the rights of Gerald Riggs Jr (who was reported to have appeared in Dolphins camp), but used the 7th round to fill their tightend slot, which had been occupied by Jeremy Shockey the past few years. Heath Miller (4/16) went undrafted last year, but appeared in games with the Brents (2/13) and Blatz. Missner commented, �I was glad to get Heath Miller in the 7th round. He should be a solid tight end and a very good value for the position and who was left on the board.� The 44�s swapped out Vince Young for Kurt Warner (3/23) who played for them in a trio of games last year � with mild success. Warner was last drafted in 2003 by the Cookies in the fourth round. Finally, we come to a team that held onto their college player: the Cubists were happy to select Reggie Bush of the Saints in the seventh round. Bush, who value was at least several round higher, said he promised to bring championship glory back to San Francisco and even curmudgeonly owner Jason Moore had to crack a smile. Bush�s college teammate Lendale White was the college supplementary pick of the Blatz. He received the goal line carries for USC, so he may do the same for the Titans (even if they aren�t quite as good as the Trojans were last year). A third straight 2005 Trojan was selected by the Wookies in QB Matt Leinart. Leinart was later cut (making him the highest drafted player to be cut) and followed insult with injury (a sprained shoulder). When Warner goes down, Leinart does have an offense that should provide him with instant success. The final supplementary pick was the Brents� Laurence Maroney (or Mulroney, depending on what part of the country you come from). He might provide value as a backup for the Patriots and has looked quite good in preseason (which is meaningless) before spraining his ankle. Finally, Owner Randy Chambers ended this most controversial of rounds by selected Super Bowl champion QB Ben Roethlisberger (1/15). He was a 10th round pick of the Busters last year, but only appeared in one game � for the Cubists.

Just when the hometown critics had begin to think that Owner Chad Nuss had forgotten about his beloved Raiders, the cryptic Coroner owner selected Oakland sack-meister Derrick Burgess (10/82). Burgess went undrafted last year, but appeared in 10 games with the Coroners and had decent success. The Cookies drafted their fourth returning player in eight rounds by once again selecting James Farrior (8/47). Farrior was a sixth round selection last year, but crossed Weitz once too often and was cut. The Busters selected their fourth WR of the draft in the consistent Rod Smith (4/35), who was a 10th round selection of the Cubists last year and appeared in games for San Francisco (2/25) and Bull City. Never let it be said that Owner Perry Missner does not bleed navy blue and orange. He selected his third Bear of the draft with Muhsin Muhammed (10/43), who was a disappointing keeper for the Coroners a year ago. The 44�s once again got the 49�ers starting running back (is that a good thing?) with the selection of Frank Gore (3/23), who appeared in a couple of games for Syracuse (2/23) last year. He also played in one scoreless game for the Envy. Jerk. The Cubists continued to stock their defense with the return of Zach Thomas (12/115), who was last drafted in 2004 by the Busters. A few years ago a combination of Derrick Brooks (5/38) and Ray Lewis would have cemented the Blatz as having the best defense. Both are a bit long in the tooth now and Brooks bounced his way from Brentless, where he was a 6th round draft choice, to Syracuse (3/26) last year. The Wookies started their defensive revival with the choice of LB Lofa Tatupu (4/29). He was undrafted as a rookie, but he played in games for the 44�s and Baers (3/24). Like the Wookies, the Brents grabbed their first defensive player, another returner, in DB Adrian Wilson (6/54). The defensive run continued through the end of the round as the Bares brought back Terrence McGee (13/145), a 10th round pick of a year ago. Had McGee played in 16 games, he might have earned serious Sweeney consideration.

Coroner fans breathed another huge sigh of relief as Nuss brought back K Sebastian Janakowski (15/88), a seventh round choice of the Coroners a year ago. Janakowski has been a Coroner draft pick in every season, except in 2004 when Owner Dan Weitz decided he need a backup kicker and broke Coroner hearts. Speaking of that heartbreaker, he grabbed the heart of Syracuse and mushed it around with the selection of DL Dwight Freeney (14/92). Freeney played well for the Wookies after being selected in the eight round. Another DL came off the board as the Busters started their defensive run with Osi Umenyiora (1/7), who appeared in a game with the Busters in 2005. Knowing the precarious health of Fred Taylor is always in doubt, the Envy took his backup Greg Jones (4/23), who appeared in four games with the Brents last year. However, the joke was on Owner Perry Missner as Jones broke his knee in preseason and had to be put down. A disgruntled Stoer shouted, �Greg Jones was the only player picked in front of me that I really wanted.� Nevertheless, the 44�s selected another familiar back up runner with Mike Anderson (11/99), who was an eight round selection of the 44�s a year ago. He became the 44�s most reliable back. The Cubists used to dominate the TE position when Tony Gonzalez was in his prime. My, how the times have changes. Now, Owner Jason Moore had to settle for Alge Crumpler (15/48), a fifth round choice of the Brents a year ago. The Blatz selected their backup QB David Carr, a ninth round selection of the Brents last year who never appeared in a game. Carr was then dumped for a semi-human interception machine. The Wookies selected their second consecutive Polynesian defensive player with Troy Polamalu (12/80). He was a 14th round selection of the 44�s last year and appeared in games with Syracuse (6/48) and P-Miss. The Brents returned to their Minnesota roots by taking former-Viking Nate Burleson (4/10), one of the out and out busts of 2005. He damaged the Ballbusters� chances after being a second round pick last year. The Baers called close to home for Brandon Lloyd, who will be making his first appearance in Modano country. He was the first number three receiver selected.

Owner Chad Nuss took a short break from his Raider fascination by selecting Brian Dawkins (12/85), who appeared in games for the Busters, Cookies (6/52), and 44�s last year. Surprisingly, Dawkins had not been drafted since 2000. The Cookies selected their second favored Cowboy with backup RB Marion Barber (1/21). The former Gopher appeared in one game with the Brents in 2005. The Busters nabbed their second defensive player with Andra Davis (5/45), who appeared in games with the Busters (2/11), Cookies, and 44�s (are you sensing a trend?) last year. Davis has since been released in favor of WR Eddie Kennison. Reggie Brown (1/1) made his way to the Envy via a one game performance with the Cookies last year. He has been touted (along with Ron Dayne) by some of the experts of fantasy football. The 44�s took last year�s Cubists starting TE, Randy McMichael (15/59), who started 2005 season well but disappeared as the season went along. The Cubists took former Sweeney award winner, Ed Reed (6/27), who underperformed for both the 44�s (5/21) after being a fifth round pick, and the Envy (where he had his greatest success in 2004). The Blatz finished off their defensive flex with Antonio Pierce (7/76), who played very well for the Cookies last year. It is a well known fact that Owner Will Mitchell prefers defensive lineman (to almost anything). He took Julius Peppers (5/23), who a large sized bust for the Coroners last year after being a third round pick. The Baers brought in a Bear who played for the Wookies in 2005 in Charles �Peanut� Tillman (6/73).

Pride and poise! The backup RB for Oakland went to the Coroners with the selection of Zack Crockett (1/1), who played in one game for the 44�s in 2005 (presumably against the Coroners). Crockett was last a Coroner draft pick in 2003. The Cookies took another Cowboy with the kicker (surprisingly, their first) with K Mike Vanderjagt (12/81), who underperformed for the Bares (7/45) after being selected in the fifth round, before being released and signed up by the Envy. The Busters continued down their path to the toilet by selecting dancing Nick Barnett (3/14), an eight round selection of the Blatz last year who did little (2/8) to justify that selection (other than dancing like an idiot after every play). The Envy solved their kicking conundrum with K Neil Rackers (10/100), who excellent a year ago for the Wookies. The bionic man, QB Steve McNair (3/27), who now relies on a positronic brain, was selected by the 44�s. He was selected by the Cookies last year in the 8th round, but never suited up for Weaselicious. McNair did make a fine comeback with the Envy (2/32) before suiting up one game with Syracuse. He was subsequently locked out of Syracuse training rooms, before redrafted, then summarily cut, eventually for TJ Duckett. The Cubists used to rely on second tier QB�s like Jake Plummer (8/87) when they had outstanding runners. Plummer was chosen by the 44�s in the 11th round last year, but spent his playing time with the Blatz. Speaking of the Blatz (oh, the segues!), they grabbed their kicker (third of the round) with Seattle�s Josh Brown (9/63), formerly of the Blatz. Brown was last selected in 2004 by the Cubists. Also last selected in 2004 was TE Kellen Winslow Jr, who did not play in 2005, but reminded Owner Will Mitchell of a certain someone. The fourth kicker of the round was K Jay Feely (2/13), who substituted last year for a game for both the Cookies and 44�s (1/7). Owner Randy Chambers liked what LB Marcus Washington (1/17) did in his one game try out in 2005 that he brought him back into the fold in 2006.

We�re getting into the rounds where anything of value can be considered a job well done. The Coroners selected 49�er rookie TE Vernon Davis, who has physical skills that are off the charts. No one is sure why the Cookies selected Duce Staley (2/5) (although I have an inkling � something about a game in 1999 with Donnell Bennett � ugh). He was a 7th round choice of the Baers a year ago and only appeared in two games with the Cookies. Ty Law has since been cut for Joe Jurevicius. Sean Taylor (3/16), was selected in the 10th round by the 44�s last year. He might be an interesting prospect if he gets a few snaps with the offense, as was rumored last year. Shayne Graham (15/125) led all kickers in points last year with the Busters and Cubists (9/70). He was Mr. Irrelevant last year. Jason Elam (16/115) was the second leading scorer as a kicker with the Cubists and Brents (8/58). He was an 11th round selection of the Brents last year. Ron Dayne was cut for Kevan Barlow. Eh. Cedric Cobbs is in the Broncos running mix. Drew Bennett (5/20) was a fifth round bust for the Coroners last year. Now that Kerry Collins is on board, he�s been cut for Brandon Jacobs. K John Kasay (12/84) is a Baer, but last year he was a Blatz (8/61) and a 44.

If you�ve got the Raiders� third string running back, you may as well have their fifth string WR. Michael Pittman (2/5) might be decent if something happens to Cadillac. Michael Strahan (14/90) was a constant in the Coroners� D-flex last year after being selected in the 9th round. LB Shawne Merriman (3/22) has pronounced himself the greatest defensive player of all time. Now, that�s admirable confidence. He appeared in 2005 with three teams (44�s, Envy, Wookies), but only had an all pro game with Peaks Island (1/15). Lance Briggs was selected by the 44�s, then cut for Kirk Morrison. Samkon Gado (5/58) appeared in five games with the Blatz before being put down by the Packers� awful offensive line. He was wisely cut by the Cubists for Vernand Morency. The Blatz took Lavernues Coles (7/41) who never made it onto the field for the Cookies last year, despite being their fourth round pick. He did play some for the Coroners. Rodney Harrison (3/12) did not do much as a fifth round pick for the Coroners last year before being put down. David Thornton last appeared in the league as a Cookie in 2004. Now, he�s a Brent. And, oh, how Trent Green (4/48) has fallen. He was once a Coroner keeper, then he was traded for Willie Parker, who is now a Coroner keeper. He appeared in three games with the 44�s last year (3/41).

When choosing between Andrew Walter, Aaron Brooks, Marques Tuiasasopo, and Jeff George � how does one decide? We�ll never know but Owner Chad Nuss took Andrew Walter. Walter was unsurprisingly cut for surprising TE Courtney Anderson. The Cookies selected DeMarcus Ware (1/7), who was a Wookie fill in last year. Ware was cut for LaBrandon Toefield. The Busters took Robert Mathis (9/78) who played for the 44�s last year. The Envy made a decent value pick in Shelton Quarles (14/101), who played for the Brents last year. That completes his Brian and the silent assassins defense (Sean, Shawne, and Shelton � Ssshhhhh!) Owner John Stoer liked what he saw in Adelius Thomas (1/19) last year. The Cubists brought back Takeo Spikes (3/18), a sixth round pick a year ago before being put down. The Blatz filled the all-important backup TE slot with Jerramy Stevens (6/25), a Bare (4/17) and 44 a year ago. K Jeff Wilkins (15/112) was the third highest scoring kicker a year ago for the Cookies. He is now a Wookies. And, dammit all, just when we thought clear headedness and reason was coming to the Modano Mi Hermano league, Owner Steve Johnson had to screw it all up. We were two picks away from having QB Brent Farf (7/89) go from a third round pick of the Brents a year ago to completely undrafted. Why, oh why, did he have to ruin everyone�s dream? The only good thing to come out of this is that Farf had the ignomy of being cut almost immediately after the draft some yahoo named Wali Lundy. Johnson receives plus points for the cut, minus huge points for the drafting, and Brentful once again is Brentless. Woe is the Blatz. The drafting and cutting of Farf surprised one Will Mitchell. Finally, Ladell Betts became Mr. Irrelevant, especially after the Redskins traded for TJ Duckett. Betts was last drafted in 2002 as a 12th round choice of the Wookies.