Post-Draft Polls
With seven teams reporting, here is what the post-draft poll looks like:
|
Team |
Pts |
Firsts |
|
Brents |
55.5 |
1 |
|
Bears |
52.5 |
2 |
|
Cubists |
50.5 |
2 |
|
44's |
44.5 |
|
|
Envy |
42.5 |
|
|
Wookies |
36.5 |
|
|
Cookies |
33 |
1 |
|
Coroners |
25.5 |
1 |
|
Losers |
25 |
|
|
Brothers |
20.5 |
|
Needless to say, the Brents, Cookies and Coroners gave themselves first place votes. Who else would? Last place votes were given to the Brothers (2), Coroners (2), Losers, Wookies, and Cookies. We’ll see how these predictions turn out.
Where teams got their players:
The following chart shows where teams got their drafted players. It is based on final 2001 rosters:
|
|
Keepers |
Envy |
44's |
Wookies |
Cookies |
Losers |
Bears |
Cubists |
Brents |
Brothers |
Coroners |
No team |
||
|
Envy |
3 |
3 |
1 |
2 |
4 |
2 |
1 |
|
|
|
|
4 |
|
20 |
|
Cubists |
3 |
2 |
2 |
3 |
1 |
1 |
|
2 |
1 |
|
|
5 |
|
20 |
|
44's |
3 |
1 |
1 |
|
1 |
|
|
|
|
2 |
1 |
11 |
|
20 |
|
Bears |
3 |
1 |
2 |
|
3 |
1 |
3 |
1 |
1 |
2 |
|
3 |
|
20 |
|
Brents |
3 |
1 |
3 |
|
|
1 |
1 |
3 |
2 |
|
|
6 |
|
20 |
|
Cookies |
3 |
1 |
2 |
2 |
1 |
3 |
1 |
1 |
|
1 |
2 |
3 |
|
20 |
|
Brothers |
3 |
1 |
1 |
1 |
2 |
|
1 |
1 |
1 |
1 |
3 |
5 |
|
20 |
|
Coroners |
3 |
|
|
|
|
1 |
1 |
|
|
2 |
4 |
9 |
|
20 |
|
Wookies |
3 |
1 |
|
2 |
|
|
1 |
2 |
1 |
1 |
|
9 |
|
20 |
|
Losers |
3 |
2 |
1 |
2 |
|
2 |
2 |
1 |
|
3 |
|
4 |
|
20 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
30 |
13 |
13 |
12 |
12 |
11 |
11 |
11 |
6 |
12 |
10 |
59 |
|
|
As you can see, the Envy and 44’s had 13 of their 17 player drafted and the Brents only had 6. The 4 undrafted Envy were Jim Miller, James Allen, David Terrell and Mike Brown – see a trend? The 4 undrafted 44’s were Eric Johnson, Kaseem Sinceno, Tony Brackens and Donovan Darius – well, two Orangemen. The 6 drafted Brents were Michael Pittman, Joe Horn, Bull Scroter, Peerless Price, Byron Chamberlain and Kwamie Lassiter. It should be noted that the final Brent roster only had 15 players on it. The Envy had a player taken by every team except the Raider-centric Coroners. The Coroners took four of their own, but only had three other teams select their players.
Week 1 Previews – The season finally gets underway with five excellent match ups – based on 2001 records. The San Francisco Cubists begin their run at a three-peat with the preseason #1 Brentful Brents at the Brents’ home of Glory Days Memorial Arena. Bruce Springsteen will be on hand to sing America the Beautiful. The Cubists have won the last four matchups and are coming off of a 5 game win streak to end 2001. In 2001, the Cubists swept the Brents handily by a combined 77 points. The game gets underway early as the Cubists have two starters – Tiki Barber and Terrell Owens – going on Thursday night. Tiki Barber gets renew his rivalry with his brother, Ronde – a former Cubist. Jeff Wilkins will also play against the team he called his own for two years as he laces his boot for the Brents. Surprisingly, Owner Steve Johnson has tabbed RB Edgerrin James as his starter instead of incumbent Green A-hole. Perhaps this is a concession by Johnson that James is surrounded by inbred morons and needs some TLC. The second and third place teams from 2001 also face off as Owners Randy Chambers and John Stoer renew their age old rivalry at Pep Boys Plaza at Durham Central on the Eno. The Bears lead the series 6-2, but the teams split in 2001. While both teams have one Redskin player starting (the Bears’ Stephen Davis and the 44’s Jeremiah Trotter), the big surprise is the 44’s starting two of the hated Cowboys – Emmitt Smith (as his starting RB over returning keeper Garrison Hurts) and Antonio Bryant. Jeremy Shockey – one of the many 44 rookies – also gets a start. The 44’s will also be familiar with the Bears kicker – Jason Elam – as he was the kicking man for the 44’s in 2001. Tracing a finger down the 2001 standings, we see the next matchup is between the P-Miss Envy and Einar’s Luvable Lusers at Einar’s Enron Field. Owner Steve “the Einar” Olsen has changed his team’s name from Losers to Lusers because “1) it looks good and 2) the only 0 is going to be in the loss column for my team.” He is authoring a bit of a dubious start as he has benched a miffed Kurt Warner for Game 1 and replaced him with a gimpy Tim Couch. Ever since the Browns trumped the Packers in pre-season the Einar can not talk enough about how he thinks the Browns will be this year’s Super Bowl champion. And he is backing his talk with the insertion of Couch. A very interesting move, to say the least. The Envy-Losers series is split 2-2 and the teams split in 2001 with each winner scoring 105 points. The teams swapped a couple of receivers in Marty Booker and Derrick Mason in the offeseason. The Envy also have former Loser David Akers as their kicker. One of the Cookies and Brothers will come out of Week 1 with an uplifting experience from the Cookies’ home, WonderBra Field. While Owner Dan Weitz submitted a new team name to the league, committee discussions have not decided whether or not to accept “the Vasectomy Volunteers,” but in the meanwhile, the team name will be changed to the Veaselicious Cookies. The Cookies lead the series 3-2 and the teams split in 2001. The Brothers are going with the unconventional two tightend lineup with second round pick Todd Heap as the starter and fourth round pick Roland Williams in the flex. Perhaps it is unconventional for a reason. The Brothers also have former Cookies K Mike Vanderjagt to respond to former-Brother/Devil James Thrash. Finally, the two losingest teams from 2001 start anew with a fairly bitter rivalry at Alameda County Coroner Coliseum. Owner Chad Callahan of the Coroners can not stand anything New England, yet he faces three Pat starters and a dyed-in-the-wool Pats fan in Week 1. The Coroners start 6 Raiders and one Grudenish Buc. The other controversy in the game comes from the first two picks of the draft. Will Mitchell has promised that Deuce McAlister will make everyone forget about Curtis Martin and inside sources tell us that Mitchell has predicted that McAlister will score twice as many points as the steady Martin in Week 1. When asked to comment, Martin said, “I will not dignify that question with a response, although I’d like to see Deuce stay healthy. Yeah, that’ll be the day.” Both teams were putrid down the stretch in 2001 as the Coroners ended the season with seven straight losses and the Wookies lost six out of seven with their lone win coming against the Coroners. The teams split in 2001 and the series history has a 4-2 tilt the Coroner way.
-------------------------------------------Cleveland Browns Press---------------------------------