2002 Modano Mi Hermano Draft Recap

The first round started off with a �Bam!� as the Wookies turned things up another notch, by shocking the league out of its offseason doldrums by producing the stunning pick of former Mountain Devil Deuce McAlister. McAlister saw action in one game last year for the Devils and produced 2 points. From his secluded Maine drafttoom, Will Mitchell knew that he had to create a buzz on Peaks Island. From the tone of the letters to the editor of the recent Peaks Island Pecayune, it seems that he has done just that. One letter read, �Coach Mitchell has bucked the establishment with this pick � He clearly has a view of the future and where the Wookies are headed � I would not be surprised if this pick leads to Modano glory in the near future. - Sincerely, Cleavon Tidball.� Of course, not all of the letters were positive. �I had a one-way ticket to Bangor reserved for August 20, 2002 and now I am going to have to waste it because it was unrefundable. I am not pleased, and I am going to make the Wookies pay for this all season long. Signed, Chewy hater (Curtis Martin).� The Coroners were more than pleased to find the aforementioned Martin still available and scooped him up to add some Jet spice to their Raider broth. Unbeknownst to Mitchell, enmity is glowing for everything New England from the Coroners camp as Owner Chad Callahan still can not even sniff chowder without breaking into a rant about that f---in� fumble. Isn�t it funny how the schedule makers saw fit to make a Coroners-Wookies match up for Week 1? With the third pick, the black sheep of the league, the East Bay Brothers, took Buco RB Michael Pittman. Pittman split time last year between the Coroners and Brents and averaged 5.6 points in 8 games. Surely, Owner Rob Ouaou is banking on the Jon Gruden�s genius to make Pittman into something more than the merely average runner he was last year. Speaking of big hopes, Owner Dan Weitz seemingly believes that former 44 Eric Moulds will be able to resurrect his big player career now that Drew has hit Buffalo. Moulds was turned into a possession received by Alex Van Pelt and only averaged 4.6 ppg in 8 games last year. Owner Perry Missner was more than pleased to have Eddie George return to the fold. While George did not earn his keeper status last year, he was injured and can be expected to return more than the 5.5 ppg he averaged in 13 games in 2001. Another former Envy keeper was selected in the first round as Owner Steve Johnson selected WR Torry Holt. Holt will have to make a huge adjustment from the beautiful spirals and excellent technique of Steve �Pear� McNair to the insane chaos and meaningless fastballs of Brent QB Brent Farf. Holt chipped in the 8th highest total for WR�s in 2001 with 123 points in 15 games, but did not have an all-pro performance. With the loss of one keeper RB, Owner Steve �the Einar� Olsen had to restock his backfield and chose Super Bowl champion Antowain Smith. Smith was outstanding for the Bears in 2002 83 points in 8 games, but some believe that his new contract will make Antowain fat and lazy. Perennial bridesmaid Owner Randy Chambers was super, duper happy to find the perfect tool for his bludgeoning power attack available with the 8th pick as he selected favorite son Stephen Davis, the former Cubists keeper. Davis averaged a respectable 7.2 ppg in 12 games for the Cubists and Chambers hoped to learn some championship secrets from the big back. With the Davis pick, a discernable sigh was heard from the 44�s camp, as Owner John Stoer was able to return WR Kevin Johnson to his orange flock. Johnson scored 7.9 ppg for the 44�s in 14 games for the 44�s and was close to being a keeper over Garrison Hearst. Stoer had been worried all summer that Chambers would pull a stunt like he had two years ago when the 44�s had earmarked their second round pick for Marvin Harrison, only to have Bull City grab him away. Johnson should team comfortably with Syracuse alum Donovan McNabb and Marvin Harrison. The first round concluded with Owner Jason Moore securing his QB slot with Aaron Brooks, the starter from the 2001 championship squad. Brooks played in 16 games for the Cubists and averaged 14.4 ppg. So much for the Cubists having a hole in the backfield.

Needless to say, there were no dissenters in the Picayune for the Wookies second pick. Not only did Troy Brown help the Patriots win the Super Bowl, but he also managed 7.7 ppg for the Cubists championship cause. Brown was said to be glad to continue his partnership with Drew Bledsoe, since he thinks winning has gone to Tom Brady�s head. Everyone assumed that Chad Callahan Nuss would head toward Oakland after deviating from the plan in the first round. Everyone was wrong as the Coroners took Olandis Gary, who is sure to have a 1000 yard season for the Broncos since just about anyone can. Gary who has had his share of injuries played in one game in 2001 and scored one point. He�d better get that starting position. With the surprising Gary already off the draftboard, Owner Rob Ouaou when with Plan B � or maybe it should be termed Plan Z. Yes, drafting a tight end this early is rather dubious, but drafting a no-name tight end for the Ravens whose offense is putrid was a shocker to most people. Why, this pick would even make Mel Kiper Jr.�s hair stand up on end. Heap did not contribute to the Modano league in his rookie but it has been said that he has nearly unlimited potential. Perhaps he learned a trick or two from Shannon Sharpe and Ben Coates in years past. He could be the Brother tight end for years to come. The Cookies continued to give QB Brian Griese targets with the highest non-keeper WR in the field � Jimmy Smith. Smith had an outstanding season for the Bears in 2001 with 125 points in 15 games. The one catch with Smith might be that he is holding out for more money from the Jaguars, but Owner Dan Weitz remembers the 1992 negotiations with Emmitt Smith (during which he missed the first two games of the season) and felt generally unworried. Absolutely no one was surprised by the next pick � Steve �Pear� McNair returning to P-Miss country. Since the inception of the Modano Mi Hermano league, McNair playing for Missner has been the one constant. He was the second ex-Envy keeper brought back by Missner. McNair did average a gaudy 16 ppg in 8 games of action in 2001. Owner Steve Johnson was pleased to welcome his loud mouth brother WR Keyshawn Johnson to the fold. Keyshawn had a very poor 2001 with only 5.1 ppg in all 16 games, but he is sure to find the endzone more often in 2002. If the earlier Todd Heap pick wasn�t considered a major boner, everyone would have to agree that the Lusers second round choice of WR Terri Glenn was a big mistake. The lady combines the worst characteristics of head case with a couple of the balkiest knees in the NFL. Not too mention that he is in a new system with a QB that throws too hard for his delicate hands. What�s funny about Glenn is that all of these other media types think that Green Bay is the perfect place for him, since how can he get in trouble in Green Bay? Don�t they remember the sordid history of all of Packer felons? Glenn, who has not played in the preseason yet, is sure to bring back memories of Chmura and Mossy Cade to someone or other. The much more sensible Randy Chambers continued to fill his backfield with big backs as he brought back the resurgent Jerome Bettis. Bettis was one of the main reasons the Bears got off to such a great start in 2001 as he scored 98 points in 12 games. He was, however, also one of the reasons the Bears couldn�t seal the deal as he went AWOL in Decemeber. Obviously, Chambers holds no ill will toward the 1998 Pussier Award winner. Speaking of restocking the shelf, Owner John Stoer completed his triumvirate of Orangemen WR by snatching Qadry Ismail before his usual picking by Rob Ouaou. Ismail had the rare distinction of playing in all 17 games in 2001 because Ouaou did not take him out of the line up during his bye. What a crazy strategy! QB Donovan McNabb will feel very comfortable as he makes his progressions with Harrison, Johnson and Ismail running precise routes. Oft-injured Fred Taylor completed the second round on his way to the place of his most glorious output � the San Francisco Cubists. Taylor was one of famed three-headed monster from 1998 and is, in fact, the only one still playing (the others were Terrell Davis and Jamal Anderson) for the time being. Should Taylor be able to keep his groin in place, the rest of the league may be in trouble again.

Another former keeper went off the board as the Wookies took former two year Brent member Joe Horn. Horn was outstanding in 2002 with 8.5 ppg in 12 games. And that from a mentally deficient QB. Finally, the Coroners took a Raider with the ageful Jerry Rice. The quatragenerian had a successful first year with the Raiders and helped the Coroner flex with 120 points in all 16 games. Hopefully, he didn�t forget to take his Geritol over the offseason. The Brothers pulled off another surprise with QB Jake Plummer. Only three others teams had Plummer in their top 50, but that was three more than had Todd Heap in their top 50. In 2001, Plummer was the primary QB for the Wookies and scored a fairly mediocre 10.3 ppg in 11 games. He will serve as the primary backup for Peyton Manning this year. Oh, what a drop off. The Cookies ensured that they will have a full WR squad with the pick of Chris Chambers, formerly of the Envy and step-brother to fellow Owner Randy Chambers. Chambers scored 8 ppg in 7 games for the Envy and showcased big play potential. He may have trouble this year as Jay Fiedler has been having some throwing troubles in preseason. Too much Manishevitz, perhaps? Knowing the iffy injury history of starter Steve �Pear� McNair, the Envy went for an early backup QB in Trent Green. Green led the Envy in 2000 to their improbable late season leaderless run. Nevertheless, some people questioned Owner Perry Missner on his picking two QB�s so early, which looks even worse in hindsight as no one else had Green in their top 20 (except for possibly the Brothers). The Brents followed by taking their first RB of the draft, Duce Staley. Staley managed to stay healthy for 8 games for the 44�s and eked out 54 points. He may see some flex time, or just as a backup for Green and James. The Einar followed two dubious picks with a nice one: WR Plaxico Burress. While Burress only made it off the 44 bench for one 5-point game, he showed big play potential. Unfortunately, like the other big play potential guy in this round, he may be hamstrung with a mediocre QB who would rather run around and get sacked instead of throwing the long bomb. The Bears filled out the slot receiver spot with former Loser keeper Isaac Bruce. Bruce was rather disappointing in 2001 with only 6 ppg in all 16 games. With defenses concentrating on Moss and Shaun Alexander, there should be free land for Bruce to roam. The 44�s made a surprise pick by taking hated warhorse Emmitt Smith. Years past his peak value, Smith is merely holding on to break Walter Payton�s career rushing record. Oh, oh, it would be such a shame if it didn�t make it. Smith was a shade of his former self in 2001 with 51 points in 9 games with the Cookies. Smith did say that he was sure to get the record easily now that Banaczek is blocking for him. Amber Weitz was said to be displeased that Emmitt had gone the 44 way and upbraided Daddy for letting him go. The little Weitz said she would work up a Belicek style defense to contain Emmitt. The third round ended much like the second round � with the Cubists taking a broken runner who has huge potential. Jamal Lewis missed the entire 2001 season after breaking his knee, but he is the kind of runner who could net big points for the master of fantasy football, Owner Jason Moore.

The Wookies continued their first pick advantage by taking another former Cubists WR, Darrell Jackson. While Jackson was on the Cubist practice squad all year (meaning he did not see any game action), he showed a nice combination with Trent Dilfer. With Horn, Brown and Jackson, the Wookies have depth at the WR slot. The Coroners took Tyrone Wheatley, which was a bit surprising because he was before Charlie Garner, but there is time for him later. Wheatley, who of course played for the Coroners last year, scored 40 points in 7 games last year. Wheatley may get more play if he can stay healthy because Owner Chad Callahan prefers the power rushing game. One would have thought that with Todd Heap on board, the Brothers would not need another tight end. One would not be Owner Rob Ouaou. Apparently, Roland Williams is back with the Brothers to teach Heap the Ouaou way, although in three games of action Williams � the Syracuse grad � only scored 2 points. Word out of Oakland said that Ro-Will was also have trouble picking up the Callahan offensive scheme. At least we won�t have to worry about if the Brothers will have a tight end to line up for their bye week. Oop � what�s that? The Raiders and Ravens are both off in Week 3? Oh, dammitall. Some might scoff at the Cookies taking yet another WR, but lest we forget what happened in 2001, James Thrash should not be laughed at. Thought of as a salary cap throw in to the big Manning for James deal, Thrash had several huge performances and finished with 97 points in 15 games. The only question will be which of the 5 Cookie wideouts will be on the bench. The Envy selected their first WR with home town boy Marty Booker. Booker had a breakout season for the Losers in 2001 with 99 points in 15 games and should be featured in the Envy offense with regularity. With their RB lineup nearly set, the Brents took a flyer on Viking RB Michael Bennett who was a flop as a rookie. The speedy Bennett, coming from the U of Wisconsin, was drafted early by the Cubists but only saw two games of action with a 7 point total. Perhaps a year of maturity will help the former track star. Perhaps not. The Lusers made another nice pick with gritty WR Derrick Mason. Pear McNair�s favorite target was exceptional in 2001 for the Envy with 76 points in just 7 games. Only Owens and Harrison had higher averages than Mason�s 10.9. The only player more constant than the Envy�s McNair is Mark Brunell with the Bull City Bears. For whatever reason, Owner Randy Chambers loves this guy. He took him in the first round last year to backup Daunte Culpepper, but this year Brunell slips to the 4th round. Brunell scored 70 points in 7 games in relief of Culpepper last year. This year, Brunell said that he hopes to only appear in one game and hold the clipboard for the rest. What kind of attitude is that? The first defensive player was taken off the board by the 44�s in the guise of LB Jeremiah Trotter. Trotter was one of the holy trinity of Envy defenders and the only one not kept on for a second year. He managed an outstanding 8.6 ppg in 16 games and should lead the 44 defense to the upper echelon. The Cubists filled out their running crew with Tiki Barber. Having had a good experience in 2001 with his twin brother Ronde, Owner Jason Moore knew he could count on Barber to improve on his 93 points in 12 games for the 44�s. Barber is the healthiest of the three backs taken by the Cubists so far.

Finally, the difference maker has come to Peaks Island. Yes, it�s true, it�s true � Curtis Conway may be the 4th wide receiver in a row taken by Owner Will Mitchell, but we all know that through the years he has proved to be the difference maker. The former Envy WR had a good comeback year in 2001 with 80 points in 11 games. He made his rounds in Modano as well � starting with the Brents, making his way to the 44�s and then being stolen by the Envy. He shall lead the Wookies back to respectability. Ah, now, Charlie Garner went. In 2001, he was usurped by the Brents just before the Coroners could get their hands on him. No such luck in 2002, as the Coroners filled out another roster spot with a Raider. Garner only scored 5.8 points in 11 games, but the guy is a gamer and does what�s asked of him. If he gets enough playing time, he should improve on those totals, especially being surrounded by the black and silver. The Brothers got around to making a pick that made a bit of sense: Laverneus Coles. Coles looks to be on the way up, although he only scored 41 points in 11 games with the Coroners in 2002. At least he will be a decoy to lure defenders away from Todd Heap. The Cookies made a questionable pick with Stacey Mack. Mack was outstanding in 2001 when he played for the Cubists with 39 points in 4 games, but he is not guaranteed playing time with Fred Taylor uninjured � for now. Speaking of questionable picks, the Envy took their third QB in the first 5 rounds, Michael Vick. While there is no question that Owner Perry Missner�s team has nice depth at QB, you can only play one at a time. Vick did not see action with the Envy or the 44�s last year, but no one can say that he does not have mad skillz. The guy could be a keeper, but for now he is merely a third stringer. The Brents continued to stock the RB shelves as they took rookie Clinton Portis, the first rookie taken off the board. He also is supposed to have mad skillz, but there is plenty of competition for the Bronco running position. Three fumbles in his last preseason start made some think of Portis as a new Fumblin� Green. The second defensive player was taken as the Einar tabbed Ronald McKinnon to run his defense. McKinnon only saw one game of action for the 44�s in 2001 with 6 points, but he has been a mainstay for the Cubists in the past. Owner Randy Chambers hoped to learn the secrets of the plays the Cubists are calling in by selecting Cubist practice squader Kordell Stewart. Chambers also mentioned his fondness of saying, �Slash!� for making the pick. The 44�s will have to decide who plays middle linebacker between Trotter and their 5th round pick, Derrick Brooks � the former Devil keeper. Brooks suffered through an off year in 2001 with only 63 points in 10 games. Not bad for some, but not to his own standards. The Cubists continued to show that they will feature a ground attack by taking their 4th straight RB � Thomas Jones. The Will Mitchell favorite � they were in Virginia at about the same time � has a massive offensive line to run behind in Arizona, but hasn�t produced as of yet. Jones, a Brent pick in 2001, did not play but should get enough carries this year to get at least one Cubist TD.

With their WR coffer filled, the Wookies looked toward finding someone to run with Ricky Williams. William Green was the first rookie selected in the NFL draft and the hope is for him to become an every down back in Cleveland. Green should get plenty of carries and provide the Wookies with some TD�s as well. His BC lineage could not have hurt. The Coroners went outside of the local area but still dipped into the Gruden pool by selecting TB�s Keenan McCardell. McCardell was part of the Loser flex in 2001, but only scored 19 points in 5 games. That genius Gruden will improve his production. The Brothers became the third team with three QB�s as they selected Jay �is for Jewish� Fiedler. Fiedler was an efficient practice squader for the Coroners in 2001 and should remain a third stringer with the Brothers. The Cookies selected Travis Henry as their third RB. Henry should be more valuable than previous selection Mack since he is slated for the Bills RB spot. The Envy pulled out of their QB doldrums with a nice WR pick � Johnny Morton. I know what you are thinking, a grown man who calls himself Johnny? Morton only scored 59 points in 13 games with the Wookies, but he could benefit from being in the KC offense with Trent Green instead of Charlie Batch. The Brents continued to stockpile runners with the selection of Warrick Dunn. Dunn no longer has to share the backfield with Mike Alstott, but will still not be the main man in Atlanta. Dunn was outstanding for the Cubists in 2001 with 78 points in 10 games. Who could expect more from this tiny dancer? The Einar brought back the second most productive tight end in the form of Marcus Pollard. Pollard was just a shade under Tony Gonzalez in 2001 with an average of 5.7 ppg (Gonzalez was 5.9 ppg). The Bears also brought back a receiver, but his name is much funnier than Pollard�s � Hieny Wartz. Ward played twice for the Bears in 2001, totaling 4 points. Apparently, Owner Randy Chambers has a thing for Steelers. Owner John Stoer took a stab at rookie DeShaun Foster from UCLA who has opened some eyes in the preseason. Unfortunately, Foster has gone down with a strained ACL and will miss the first month of the season. And yet another returning player ended the round as the Cubists re-signed DB Sammy Knight, the first defensive back off the board. Knight averaged a nice 7.4 ppg in 10 games last year, but his value could be somewhat diminished by the loss of passes defended and forced fumbles counting for points.

The run of returning picks continued as the Wookies brought back the #1 defensive lineman from last year � Michael Strahan. Owner Will Mitchell prefers DL�s and in Strahan he has the best. Strahan scored 129 points in 13 games and was miles better than the #2 DL. The only thing tainting Strahan�s productive season was being in cahoots with Brent QB Brent Farf who fell down allowing Strahan to attain the single season sack record. Nobody likes a cheater, especially an inbred one. In what has become an annual rite of football season, Sebastian Janakowski made his way to the Coroners. In recent years, he has fallen from a first round pick to the second round and now all the way down to the seventh round. Sea-bass has had a brutal preseason with only 3 out 8 FG attempts made, but Owner Chad Callahan has reassured fans that his polish sausage is 100% grade A meat. Another Raider was chosen as the Brother selected Anthony Dorsett. Dorsett did play a game for the Coroners in 2001 and scored 6 points, but no one is going to get him confused with his father. Something tells us that he would have been available in Round 17 � much like Todd Heap. The Cookies made a value pick in Round 7 with Super Bowl champion QB Tom Brady. Brady will lead the Patriots� offense and could sub for Brian Griese from time to time. Last year Brady only saw one game of action for the Coroners, but he did manage to score 24 points in that game. Another value pick was made by the Envy with Amani Toomer. The former Cookie scored 93 points in 16 games last year and has some previous Envy experience. The Brents took their third WR of the draft with Peerless Price. He has an outstanding name, but he did not see action in 2001. If Drew Bledsoe is all that in Buffalo, Price could have be of some value. The Lusers continued the nice run of good picks in Round 7 with Keith Brooking, who led the Bear D in 2001 with a nice 8.7 ppg average in 15 games. Santana Moss joins his brother Randy in Bull City. Moss spent most of his time on the IR in 2001, but might have learned a few things from his Envy coaches that will help him for the Bears. He has speed to burn. Owner John Stoer did the unthinkable by selecting his second Cowboy in rookie DB Roy Williams. Not to be confused with Kansas men�s basketball coach, Williams has been ticketed for greatness by none other than Stoer favorite Jerry Jones. The denouement of Round 7 came with another wise pick by sage Owner Jason Moore. 49ers RB Kevan Barlow is an up-n-comer and should see plenty of action if, nay, when Garrison Hearst goes down once again. Barlow played three games for the Envy in 2001, scoring a modest 15 points.

See, I told you that Owner Will Mitchell likes DL�s. For the second consecutive round, Mitchell took a DL in the form of Courtney Brown. Brown was selected in the 17th round by the Bears in 2001 but did not play. All things considered, Mitchell along with everyone else in the league would rather have Brown�s college teammate Lavar Arrington, but Arrington has some sort of problem with NFL players� association so he is not available. C�mon, Lavar, just let them test your pee! Chad Callahan filled his team�s tight end position with capable Chad Lewis, who played for the Lusers in 2001 and scored 16 points in 4 games before ceding his position to Marcus Pollard. As if we didn�t know that Owner Rob Ouaou didn�t have a clue, his selection of broken RB Dominic Rhodes opened our eyes. It was fairly common knowledge that Rhodes is out for the season after tearing his ACL, but that news apparently did not filter into the East Bay. Rhodes was fine in 2001 as he scored 87 points in 6 games, but that ain�t gonna help no one this year. Another not particular good pick was made by the Cookies next: former Heisman trophy winner Ron Dayne. Old �thunder� has not proven to be an NFL back as he showed in 2001 for the Coroners: just 20 points in 8 starts. Ugh. Another reach was made by the Envy in returning tight end Jay Riemersma. Perhaps it�s just Bledsoe hope, but now that Riemersma has to share his position with Dave Moore, he could have been taken later. Friendly Jay scored 30 points in 10 starts for the Envy in 2001. Yech. The Brents tried to right the round with active LB Zach Thomas. Thomas scored 94 points in 11 games for the 44�s in 2001 and will be counted on to anchor the Brent D. The Einar tabbed former Coroner keeper Derrick Alexander next. Alexander was woeful in 2001 with 16 points in 5 games as he knew his guaranteed contract would keep food on the table. Perhaps playing opposite Randy Moss will inspire Alexander, although we hear that his work habits make Moss look like Mike Ditka. A nice value pick was made by the Bears next: Mike Anderson � another huge contributor to the Envy�s finest season in 2000. Although Anderson basically disappeared in 2001 after being taken by the Devils in the first round (59 points in 16 starts), he could end up as the starter for the Broncos. The 44�s next selected one of the finest DB�s in the league: Rodney Harrison. Harrison, who won championship gold with the Cubists in 2000, was a member of the Coroners in 2001. Harrison, now with his brother Marvin, scored 110 points in 14 starts for the Country. Wanting to initiate the party in San Francisco, the Cubists made a wise pick with famous drunk Kerry Collins. Collins spent 2001 in the Cookies drunk tank, but is sure to party on if he gets a Cubists� start.

The Wookies began Round 9 in a fine fashion taking Troy Hambrick � heir to the Emmitt throne. Hambrick spent most of 2001 on the Envy bench (1 game � 8 pts), but that won�t be the case in 2002. As soon as Emmitt breaks the record, Coach Campo is going to sit his ass on the pine and let the future be the present. The Coroners� pick of Bill Romanowski produced a league wide snicker. Sure, the guy represents a Raider through and through, but will he be able to produce numbers. Our guess is no. What a far cry this is from the Coroners who used to rely on kicking and defense. The Brothers bounced back with a nice kicker pick of Mike Vanderjagt. Vanderjagt scored a nice 8.3 ppg for the Cookies in 2001. The Cookies took a flyer on the former 44 keeper, James �Little Man� Stewart. 2001 was not a wonderful life for Stewart as he seemed to be looking out his rear window. Stewart stammered his way to 5.6 ppg in 7 appearances. Another not particularly good pick was made by the Envy: Falcons main WR Willie Jackson. �Action� Jackson only scored 4.6 ppg in 12 games for the Cookies. Perhaps he will be able to connect with Mike Vick for more scores, but he is more or less a possession receiver. The Brents filled their K spot ably with Jeff Wilkins � a two year starter for the Cubists. Wilkins had a solid 2001 campaign by scoring 8.9 ppg in 16 games. He should represent a significant step up from Ryan Longshanks (thankfully, undrafted). The Lusers brought back favorite son Darren Sharper. Sharper was adequate with 7.7 ppg in 16 appearances for the Lusers in 2001, but everyone expects his performance to dim greatly in 2002. The Bears took their first defensive player in the person of Kwamie Lassiter � a Brent in 2001. Lassiter doubled up name-alike�s Kwame Brown�s production in 2001 with 8.1 ppg in 8 games. Apparently, Owner John Stoer likes the rookies. He selected his third first year player with T.J. Duckett. Duckett should get some goal line opportunities and could be a sweet pick. The Cubists bowed to the East in making Muhsin Muhammed their 9th round selection. Muhammed has soared to great heights in the Modano league, but 2001 was not a good year. Muhammed was only able to accrue 3.5 ppg in 11 games with the Wookies. Owner Jason Moore thought teaming the strict Muslim Muhammed with inebriate Kerry Collins might produce some hilarious results.

The 10th round started with a minor shock to many. Owner Will Mitchell had publicly stated that he was going to draft all of the Patriot TE�s � of which Freddie Jones is not one. Jones has plenty of game experience with 14 starts for the Devils last year, but he did not have much scoring experience � only 34 points. Another minor surprise came next as Owner Chad Callahan nabbed the elderly Rod Woodson � another new Raider, instead of the youthful dancing Charles � of course, time for him later again. Woodson did not play in 2001 (and hasn�t for several years), but he will certainly provide a veteran presence with Romo-cop. As the old saying goes, �Even the blind squirrel eventually finds a nut,� so it goes with the Brothers who took Lamont Jordan off the board. Jordan, who will back up Curtis Martin this season, will get goal line opportunities, according to Coach Herm Edwards. Those are the opportunities that count. The Cookies filled in their tight end slot with the re-Bronco-bound Shannon Sharpe. Sharpe had his finest days in Denver, but the fact that he is related to a former-Packer has not been forgotten by the media. For the TE-conscious Wookies in 2001, Sharpe scored 51 points in 14 games. Not so great. Another dreadful round for the Envy was wasted on big back Mike Alstott. A couple of years ago, Alstott lost two games in a row for the Envy with his fumbling then resurgence for the 44�s the next week after being dismissed. Alstott scored 34 points in 8 games with the Wookies. For such a big back, you would expect him not to run like such a fairy. He will be at the end of the Envy bench and anyone interested should send trade offers. The Brents made another nice pick on the defensive side with James Farrior. The new Steeler scored 29 points in 4 games with the 44�s in 2001 and should get plenty of tackles in the LB-friendly Pittsburgh environment. The Lusers took an early pick on a DL with Warren Sapp. Sapp was a Devil last year and had a devil of time scoring points. Only two points in two games is not to have your motor mouth going. No likes anyone who has a �friendly� rivalry with that idiot Farf. The Bears solidified their kicking slot with All-pro K Jason Elam. Elam was outstanding with the 44�s in 2001 as he notched two all pro performances on his way to scoring 137 points in 16 starts. Owner Randy Chambers is wisely taking a few 44�s and Cubists to keep his closest rival�s players around him. Eh, what�s that? You wouldn�t believe that a lifetime Skins fan would take 3 Cowboy players? Well, as Martin would say, B�lieeve dat!, because that�s just what Owner John Stoer has done with the pick of Dexter Coakley. Has Amber Weitz infiltrated the 44 compound or what�s the deal? Coakley did score 27 points in 4 games with Cookies, but the Washington faithful were not pleased by the pick. The Cubists rounded out their QB squad with Tampa�s Brad Johnson. Johnson was a Devil last year, but did not get into the lineup. The once oft-injured QB has stabilized his career and now become quite mediocre.

Man, I hate it when a round starts like this. The Wookies already chose a tight end in the last round, so why would they want to foul team chemistry with Booger Frankfurter. Oh, I know he catches passes in the red zone, but that was in 2001. He is sure to go on a deep downward spiral in 2002. More semblance of sense was in the Coroners choosing Charles Woodson. He of the �slap that ass, slap that ass, spike� TD routine returns to the Coroners where he scored 38 points in 7 games. Wayne Chrebet was a washout with the Bears last year scoring 9 points in three games, so it was no surprise that the Brothers gobbled up the ultimate possession receiver. Owner Dan Weitz has taken kickers earlier in past drafts, but Round 11 seemed like a fitting opportunity for the Dolphins K Olindo Mare. The Losers� kicker in 2001, and of no relation to Delroy Lindo, was slightly below average with 6.2 ppg in 11 games. Another round and another underwhelming pick by the Envy. Lamar Smith was a complete bust in 2001 after being the second player chosen overall in 2001 by the Brents. Smith, who looks like he has backed into the Panthers starting RB slot, rushed for 97 points in 15 games, but the hopes were for more. He should get to know Alstott well on the practice squad. The Brents brought back TE Byron Chamberlain from 2001. Chamberlain scored 46 points in 11 games for the Brents and the Envy, but might lose out on some passes since 85% of the Vikings offense is going to be geared to Randy Moss so he doesn�t take plays off. The Lusers secured their kicker in Round 11 with up-n-comer Jay Feely. Feely helped the Devils remain competitive in the kicking game with 107 points in 14 games after taking over for Martin Gramatica. The Bears continued to stock their defense with Charlie Clemons who made a late season splash with the Cookies in 2001. Clemons sang for a sweet 26 points in two games after the Cookies had been all but eliminated from the race. The 44�s signed up a Rams� receiver, which is never a bad play, with Terrence Wilkins. Wilkins, who did not see action in 2001, might return some kicks as well. Could be useful down the road. The Cubists finished off the round with the former Cookie keeper, WR Joey Galloway. The old anti-Farf saw action in two games in 2001, but only scored 1 point. Perhaps his powers for good have worn off since he has been wearing the star for too long.

The picks start getting a bit loose in the twelfth round. The Redskins� backup RB Ladell Betts was taken first by the Peaks Island Wookies, but he has already been cut and replaced by frequent Bledsoe target Larry Centers. The Coroners continue to shop the Raider way by taking the 8th Raider in 12 round (10 Raiders on the roster with the keepers), Jerry Porter. Porter did not see action in 2001. The Brothers finished their purchase of the Coroners� former NY receivers with Ike Hilliard. �Smell like Ike� scored 19 points in 5 games. The Cookies went the Brother way by taking Jamir Miller � who is out for the season with something or another. Miller was unbelievable for the Cookies in 2001 with 130 points in 14 games, but he won�t score any from the rehab room. Why bother taking a third string runner for a subpar team? That�s a question anyone could ask Owner Perry Missner after he selected Maurice Smith in the 12th round. Smith scored 48 points in 9 games, but has since been cut for Marcus Robinson. The Brents continued on their merry way with a nice pick of ex-Cubist DB Ronde Barber. Barber scored an excellent 105 points in 12 games last year in earning his ring. The Lusers wasted their 12th round pick on Packer WR rookie Javon Walker who scored in negative numbers in the NFL�s Wunderlich intelligence test. He should fit in just fine up there. The Bears continued their defensive run with Marvin Jones, who scored 98 points in 14 games with the Devils in 2001. The 44�s picked yet another rookie with Dwight Freeney. However, Freeney is something special because he went to Syracuse and he can rush the passer like a mo-fo. The Cubists took a former-44 in Donnie Edwards who has switched from the Chiefs to the Chargers. Edwards scored 8 ppg in 12 appearances for the 44�s and is known as a solid lockerroom guy.

The Wookies got back on the right track by bringing a 2001 stalwart � Lawyer Milloy. Milloy served as the Wookies� primary defensive back in 2001 and scored 63 points in 10 games. Not great, not terrible. Another round, another Raider taken by Chad Callahan. He seems to like the new Raiders most of all. Perhaps because they haven�t given him reason to sour. DL John Parella is known for stuffing the gaps � that might not be good for points, but it is good for stopping the run. The Cookies made the most of their DL choice with Jason Taylor. Taylor, was an adequate backup for Strahan for the 2001 Wookies, added 7.4 ppg in 16 games. Pretty good for a DL. The Envy rebounded a bit from lackluster picks in the previous 4 rounds with Jamel White. Reportedly, White is having an outstanding camp and might usurp some rushes from anointed RB William Green. He might be a solid Envy backup as he was for the Cookies in 2001 when he scored 9 points in his lone appearance. The Brents chose Michael Barrow � formerly of the Bears � as another solid defender. He picked up 8 points a game in 9 Bear showings. The Losers selected a decent backup QB in Tim Couch with their only other QB slot. Couch was awesome of the bench for the Wookies last year with 19 ppg in 4 games. With Warner�s balky thumb, Couch might be needed. The Bears looked to Cincinnati of all places for their next pick. Yes, the first Bengal in the draft was Takeo Spikes who played for both the 44�s and Brents last year with 5.3 ppg in 4 games. He was the third LB taken in a row by Owner Randy Chambers. Again, the 44�s looked to the rookies for their next pick in speedy Donte� Stallworth. What�s with the apostrophe? Should there be a �Q� there? Anyway, he was cut for � get this � another rookie � Cowboy Antonio Bryant. What the hell is going on in Syracuse? The Cubists made another wise selection with Rod Gardner in the 13th round. With all of the funnin� and gunnin� of the ole ball coach, somebody has to catch the ball and it might as well be Gardner. Gardner played for the Envy once in 2001 and scored a point.

Finally, a rookie that didn�t go to the 44�s. The Wookies do have William Green and they added to him momentarily with the first Texan picked � QB David Carr. Carr didn�t have much gas, however, as Owner Will Mitchell dumped him for rookie hope TE Daniel Graham. The Coroners picked through the non-Raiders for Steve Smith � a WR who reportedly has speed to burn. However, the only thing we remember about him is his repeated fumbles on kickoff returns that gave the Packers a win over the hopeless Panthers. The Panthers would have won if it weren�t for Mr. Smith. It�s always a good idea to have a good backup kicker, so the Brothers took Matt Stover who kicked for both the Envy and Cookies last year � 9 games 60 points. The Cookies took their second straight DL � Lion Shaun Rogers. He didn�t play in 2001, but some people say he has a motor that just won�t quit. For the first time in 2002, the Envy addresses their award winning defense. They rounded out the holt trinity with Rosevelt Colvin, the Bears� sack leader. Colvin will be playing for a new contract so he should light up the league in 2002. He did not play in 2001. The Brents went for the unheralded D�Wayne Bates. Bates is rumored to be starting on the other side of Moss instead of Derrick Alexander. Last year, he was the Bears� 6th best receiver and now he is the Vikings� second? Hmmm� The Lusers tried to find an answer to Marshall Faulk in Trung Canidate. If Marshall goes down, the Lusers could have something. Canidate burst on the scene for the Envy in 2001 with 37 points in two games, but his fumbling problems have put him in Mike Martz�s doghouse. The Bull City Bears took favorite K Brent Conway who kicked for them once in 2001 (7 points). Conway isn�t awful but he is pretty bad. Ugh, another rookie? The 44�s are going to be the youngest team in the league by a good 5 years. TE Jeremy Shockey has been all the hype since his early August run against the Texans� backups. It was an impressive run and Shockey could put up some decent tight end numbers. There aren�t going to be enough 44 veterans to conduct proper hazing of all of these rookies. Who�s McNabb going to call when he wants coffee and donuts in the morning? Any speed dial button will do. After a mostly successful draft, the Cubists made just an awful pick in Round 14. I guess better Round 14 than Round 2. Bull Scroter will be just as bad in Detroit as he was Green Bay. He played full time for the Brents in 2001, scoring 77 points in 12 games. He�ll be lucky to score 7 points in 2002. He should be cut sooner than immediately.

The Wookies took another young QB in Round 15. Drew Brees will be the starter for the Chargers if Doug Flutie doesn�t poison him with his Flutie Flakes. He can throw to the difference maker and make big points for the Wookies. Is Marvcus Patton still playing? Amazing � he seems like the prototypical Jerry Town Smoker. He played 7 games for the Devils in 2001 and managed 8 ppg. John Abraham was solid in 2001, but I think the Brothers will be dismayed to hear that he is hurt. He scored 69 points in 10 games for the Brents and 44�s. Mike Peterson is a sweet pick for the Cookies. He was above average for the Losers in 2001 with 7.8 ppg in 6 games before getting hurt. With Tony Dungy in town, Peterson may be in for a big boost. David Akers is a solid kicker pick, although he only scored 5 ppg in 6 appearances for the Losers. The Brents pulled one out of their hat with Dez White, who has been outstanding this preseason. That�s nice, but you know how much preseason counts for, don�t you? The Einar defaulted on Charger kickoff returner Ronney Jenkins, who has since been cut for TE Ernie Conwell. The Bears took a tight end for the first time with David Sloan � now of the Saints nee Lions. Sloan played in three games for the Cookies in 2001 but did not score. The 44�s looked at MarTay Jenkins briefly, but decided his odd spelling belonged with Donte�. So, they picked up Colt WR Reggie Wayne. The round ended with Saints K John Carney going to the Cubists. He might not be as solid as Wilkins was in years past, but Owner Jason Moore is de-emphasizing fantasy football so it�s ok. Carney scored 81 points in 12 games for the Wookies in 2001.

Now, we�re treasure hunting. The Wookies might have found gold in tackle machine Warrick Holdman. As long as those two big, fat defensive tackles stay healthy, the blockers won�t be able to put a paw on Holdman and his buddies. Holdman came in for one game with the 44�s and scored 14 points (against the Envy if I am not mistaken). The Coroners wasted their 16th pick on worthless QB Matt Hasslebeck. He should be cut for a backup Raider before you read this. Former Sweeney Award winner Chad Brown made his way to East Bay. Brown can still get the numbers as he proved with the Brents and Cookies in 2001 � 115 points in 15 games. The Cookies fascination with DB Jason Sehorn continued. He did score 7 ppg in 2 appearances with the Cookies and 44�s, but we think he is overrated. Not overrated is Champ Bailey, who was picked by the Envy. He might even get a few reps with offense � making him double trouble. Bailey only scored 60 points in 11 games for the Bears in 2001, but a few TD�s would surely add to that total. The Brents needed a backup QB and Trent Dilfer can do that. He needs to return from his knee injury, but once he does that � he could play some, especially if that inbred moron finally decides to stop taking the Vicodin. The Losers 16th round pick angered the 44�s almost as much as their refusal to change their lineup last year in Week 18. Owner John Stoer has always hated Brian Mitchell with a passion and now he can extend some of that hate to the Einar. Mitchell has since been cut for Ricky Watters, angering Owner Randy Chambers. Speaking of Chamb, he picked up Frank Wycheck, an old favorite, for his backup TE slot. Wycheck scored 4 ppg in 11 games for the Cookies in 2001. Super Joe Nedney was tabbed as the 44�s kicker in 2002. He kicked for the Envy, Brents and Cookies in 2001 and managed a 7.2 ppg average despite racking up the frequent flyer miles. Nedney has since been cut for Mr. Excitable, Martin Gramatica. TE Zeron Flemister was cut before he could even practice for the Cubists. He won�t play over Tony Gonzalez even if Tony holds out. The Cubists picked up Sweeney nominee LB Kendrell Bell, who didn�t play in 2001.

The seventeenth round is usually irrelevant but there were some nice picks this year. Playoff hero K Adam Vinatieri made his way up the Atlantic coast. Vinatieri kicked for the Brents, Cubists and Wookies last year but was only able to average 5.6 ppg. The Coroners took a flyer on former 44 keeper Wesley Walls. Even though no one likes him, it wasn�t a bad pick. Walls averaged 3.5 ppg in 10 appearances for the 44�s. The Brothers made a nice defensive pick with former Bear London Fletcher. If Fletcher can still run around and make tackles like he did for the Rams, he should be able to maintain the 7.5 ppg average he had for the Bears in 15 appearances. Troy Vincent crossed state lines from the Losers to the Cookies. He scored 86 points in 13 games with the Lusers in 2001. Justin Smith burst onto the scene as a rookie with 8.5 sacks and might get some playing time with the Envy. Joe Johnson made the huge mistake of coming to Green Bay from Saintly New Orleans. The former Envy draft pick will find that he is slower than molasses on the Lambeau sod and just waste the Packer salary cap. He was cut for similarly poor Donald Driver. Another Packer was taken off the board by another Packer lover as the Einar took idiot Jason Brookins. Brookins told to turn in his playbook, left the Packers as he thought he was cut. They just wanted to rearrange the pages for him, but the moron drove home only to be cut two days later. He will be replaced by Najeh Davenport. As a public service announcement for the media, would someone please pick up Davenport � the humor surrounding that guy is just too much to keep under wraps. Brookins was also cut by the Einar for J.J. Stokes. I�m J.J.! Jevon Kearse did not last long with the Bears as he was cut for Koren Robinson. What? Again? The 44�s selected yet another Cowboy in Quincy Carter. He has since been cut for the unfortunate Dorsey Levens � but Owner John Stoer is asking for karmic hell with all of these Cowboys. Mr. Irrelevant in this year�s draft was Grant Winstrom. He was cut for Kevin Dyson.