Modano Mi Heramo Draft Review

Rumor had been centered on the 44's taking Raven RB Jamal Lewis, but as Lewis tried out for the team he messed up his knee and had to be shot. Knowing that the recent history of the 44's has been one messed up knee after another, Owner John Stoer decided to go for consistency. He took the top runner from last year's champion Cubists, Curtis Martin. "I may not like his politics," said Stoer, "but I like the way he runs - hard." Martin took out a $10 million Lloyds of London policy on his knees. Unfortunately, he forgot to ensure his groin as well. The Brents also decided to solidify their running game with another former Cubist, Lamar Smith. Some say that last year was a fluke for Lamar Smith, but that did not bother Owner Steve Johnson who went with flukes Ahman Green and Joe Horn as a couple of his keepers. Dan Weitz overlooked Brian Greise's past problems with the hooch and tabbed the third former Cubist in a row. He should be able to hand off to Marshall Faulk and Emmitt Smith well. The first non-Cubist went fourth to the Peaks Island Wookies as Rod Smith (mentioned in probably all of the top tens) was taken off the board. The County Coroners surprised many by not taking Sebastian Janakowski, but went with old pro Tim Brown. Brown burned the Coroners twice last year with the Wookies and it looks as if Chad Nuss has learned his lesson: there's plenty of time for Sea-bass. Rob Oauoa made a questionable pick with RB Mike Anderson (the third Bronco in the first round). Anderson was last year's Weinrich Rookie of the Year, but his place in the starting line up is hardly assured. If he returns to last year's form, Anderson and Edgerrin James will be a load for the rest of the league. No one was surprised as Perry Missner tabbed LB Brian Urlacher as his first pick. Missner had been silently banging his head against the wall after letting Urlacher go last year and there was no way he was going to end up in an enemy camp for 2001. Perhaps it was too early to take a defensive player, but Urlacher looks to be a keeper. The Einar made former Cookie Easy Ed McCafferty his first pick. Perhaps Easy Ed will impart some NBA Live inside knowledge from the Weitz camp. Randy Chambers brought back QB Mark Brunell from last year's squad to once again back up Daunte Culpepper. There were some quality running backs still available, but clearly Chambers does not care for the ground game. The first round finished with Jason Moore taking Corey Dillon to retool his monsterous running attack.

A fracas broke out at the beginning of round two as Jason Moore learned that Commissioner Tugwell and the good people at Sandbox decided to change the format of the draft from a back and forth affair to an NFL style draft. "I would have reworked my rankings completely if I had known that I would have to draft tenth in each round. Jeesus Key-rist!" When reminded that he was the champion last year, Moore commented, "Fair is fair and this is unfair. I'm playing 2001 in protest." Another former Cubist went off the board as John Stoer, bestowed with sudden good fortune, took WR Eric Moulds. Stoer said, "He didn't go to Syracuse, but he has spent enough time in Buffalo that some of coach Pasquilleri's teachings must have rubbed off." A miffed Moore said, "I would have had him." Steve Johnson surprised some as he took old warhorse Ricky Watters. Johnson said, "Mike Holmgren has taught him humility, just as he taught Kurt Warner how to throw." The Cookies continued to address their QB opening with Trent Green who is a quality backup. With no more Ben Coates to kick around, the Wookies took the first tight end with Shannon Sharpe. "Tight end is the most important position to me," said Owner Will Mitchell. Chad Nuss reassured everyone that he has his priorities in the right place with the inevitable pick of K Sebastian Janakowski. J-Cow said, "I kick da ball good. Nuss make smaht pick." The Devils brought back Cris Carter who showed so much veteran leadership for them last year. The Envy continued to address the defense first by taking mean and nasty LB Ray Lewis. It will be interesting to see how he meshes with the white hat donning Urlacher. The Einar continued to stockpile wideouts with former Bear Keenan McCardell followed by the Bears selecting former Cubist Jimmy Smith who had a bionic stomach put in during the offseason. "He can now eat my barbequed chicken wings," said a proud Chambers. A visibly upset Moore took tiny Warrick Dunn to end the second round. While shaking his finger, Moore vowed revenge, "I don't know how, but I am going to get that Tugwell."

The 44's continued to address their needs at the skill positions by bringing back McNabb favorite Duce Staley. Duce had an odd foot ailment that plagued him in 2000, but now swears by his new in-soles to keep him off the IR. The Brents unwittingly made an enemy by selecting Raider third down back Charlie Garner (yet another former Cubist). Coroner Owner Chad Nuss was first unhappy at the loss of the new Raider, then had to give fellow owner Johnson kudos for his insightful pick. Nuss said, "I am sure Johnson had no idea how much I wanted Garner, but he will be great player for the Brents." Johnson merely shrugged. The Cookies surprised everyone by taking QB Kerry Collins as their third QB in a row and the second who has had past problems with old Jim Beam. The picking of three QB's in the first three rounds did not work so well for the Brents last year, so we'll have to see how it does for the usually woeful Cookies. The Wookies next selected former Cookies Muhsin Muhammed. Will Mitchell declared, "Moosh mania has come to Maine!" With Garner off the board, Chad Nuss took his next highest Raider, RB Tyrone Wheatley. The Devils brought back hated Qadry Ismail. "Boy, I hate those Ravens," said Rob Oauoa as he claimed the former Orangeman. The Envy were happy to find former monster head and Wookie Jamal Anderson available in the third round. He and Eddie George should make a fine pair. The Einar continued his receiver trend as he plucked another 2000 Wookie, the perennially disappointing Kyshawn Johnson. Johnson declared the Losers his team and said that incumbent Isaac Bruce was a mere sparkler to his Washington Monument fireworks display. We'll see. Randy Chambers finally selected a runner with former Coroner Jerome Bettis. Bettis is three years removed from being named the Pussier award winner, but he may still have a few miles left in him. A still fuming Jason Moore reached into his bag of tricks and pulled out Michael Bennett, the Robert Smith replacement. Moore said, "I was planning on picking Bennett in the sixth round, but since the order is all flubbed up I guess I'll take him here. Haarumph!"

With the selection of Tiki Barber, Owner John Stoer may have created one of the stronger rushing attacks in the Modano league. Stoer commented, "Donovan should be able to hand off straight back, to his left and right and still be able to see Wesley and Moulds down the field. Or, he can just keep the ball and run. It's really up to him." The league's only name change came about with the next pick as the Brentless Brents turned into the Brentful Brents. As if the name weren't a clear enough sign that the team was not interested in winning, this selection shows that Owner Steve Johnson wants to remain in the lower echelon. In a side note, at his Tennessee compound former starter QB Peyton Manning rolled his eyes upon hearing the about the pick, then "rolled his ankle." Manning's agent began to float the rumor that the Brent regime were not treating his client fairly and was not sure if Peyton could stomach another year in those horrible looking uniforms. The Cookies took their first non-QB, WR Amani Toomer who had a fine season with the Envy and Cubists before getting cut in a numbers crunch. The Wookies took a flyer on RB Garrison Hearst who took 2000 off to complete his novel, Zen and the Art of Breaking Ankles. Chad Nuss went back to pre-2000 for his next pick, going back to defense with top scoring defender Rodney Harrison. The Devils continued their strong draft with big WR David Boston who is sore at 44's Owner John Stoer for not keeping him around instead of Nobody Likes Wesley Walls. The Envy made a pick for the future with ultra-talented QB Michael Vick, their second Falcon in a row. Unlike the Brents situation, there seems to be no QB contraversy in P-Miss land. Formerly eponymous QB Steve McNair said, "Wow, what a great pick! I intend to teach young Michael everything I know, then move aside for him to build what I have set a base to. He reminds me of me when I was young." The Losers threw away their fourth round pick on Antonio Freekman whose bell is still ringing from that vicious preseason hit. The Bears addressed the defense with diminutive LB London Fletcher who will quarterback the defense again this season. The Cubists also brought back a player in QB Aaron Brooks who can't seem to get that Packer stench off him. Following the selection of Brooks, Moore decided to leave the draft and let old buddy rodeo enthusiast and football non-enthusiast George Michael (and his Sports Machine) finish the draft for him.

The 44's began to address their defense, which was not so great in 2000. Former Cubist LB Donnie Edwards put on a show in 2000 and garnered some Sweeney votes. He has said that he always wanted to play in orange. The Brents descent in the draft continued as they brought back K Ryan Longwell. Longwell is reportedly having a lot of troubles this preseason because he lost holder Matt Hasslebeck. That's the kind of insight you can get from skimming the Appleton Post-Crescent. In other words, terrible pick. The return of kickers continued as the Cookies brought back Matt Stover. It may have been a tad early to take a kicker with three QB's in tow, but if you have Marshall Faulk you can take some risks. The second Bear was selected as the Wookies took 2000 1000 yard rusher James Allen who will be reunited with Ethan Allen in Peaks Island. After taking the number one rated defensive back, the Coroners selected the number two DB with Captain Pat Tillman, formerly of the Brents. That's quite a combo. The Devils tooks the first defensive lineman of the draft with Warren Sapp who is meaner and leaner than ever. He should team with Derrick Brooks well. The Envy started to address the receiver corps as they took 2000 surprise Derrick Mason. He and McNair should monopolize many TD's. The Einar took a back up QB in Rob Johnson who may be a good pick if he can manage to stay healthy. The Bears manned their strong side LB with Sam Cowart who had a fine 2000 before getting hurt. And George Michael finished the round by correctly enunciating, "Anthony Simmons. Anthony Simmons is a great player. Anthony Simmons is a guy who we can count on."

If WR Germane Crowell is healthy, he should be a reliable weapon for the 44's. He, like many of the players selected in Round 6, did not end up on a roster at the end of last season. The Brents, sensing that their clubhouse was being torn asunder, picked the ultimate team player and descension band-aid with fun-loving, joke-playing and hard-playing TE Jay Riemersma. Riemersma has vowed that no matter what happens with the Brents, he is going to have a good time. Knowing the success they had with Marshall Faulk, the Cookies took Chiefs' RB Priest Holmes who shall be the Faulk with the Vermeil led Kansas City team. OK, it's a bit of a stretch, but if the Chiefs play the Bengals - look out! The Wookies, believing that Seahawks Coach Mike Holmgren can turn nothing into something, took QB Matt Hasselbeck. By the way, that belief is wrong. Hasselbeck will be this year's Jon Kitna. Pundits were wondering how Raider loving Chad Nuss would take to new recruit Jerry Rice. Their questions were answered as Nuss took the newest, oldest Raider to get back to his Raider strain. The Devils took another Raider and second Syracuse alum with tight end Roland Williams. Perhaps Williams learned something in St. Louis to make him worth this pick, but we're not sure about that. The Envy took a stab at Olandis Gary who was also drafted by Perry Missner last year. Talk has him looking good at camp, so if others get injured he could be the man. The Einar made a good selection with the highest draft RB LaDainian Tomlinson. Whether or not the Chargers awful offensive line will open any holes for him is another story. The Bears took WR Michael Westbrook who is coming off of knee surgery, but has always had the talent to be a top receiver. Maybe he will learn something from Randy Moss and he will definitely learn a thing or two from Marvin Harrison. And George Michael finished the round by correctly enunciating, "Randall Godfrey. Randall Godfrey is a great player. Randall Godfrey likes to make tackles."

Junior Seau might not be what he once was, but he can still gather the points from the linebacker slot. The former Brent should be a fine addition to the 44 defensive unit. Steve Johnson broke the heart of another owner as he took Cardinal RB Thomas Jones off the board. Wookies Owner Will Mitchell began to sob upon hearing Jones's name announced. Mitchell explained weepily, "We were in Virginia at the same time and I knew him well. He was more than a friend, yet less than a lover." Jones should prosper in the first four games while Michael Pittman serves his suspension. The Cookies continued their mysterious ways by taking a second kicker. In the first seven rounds they took three QB's and two K's to play 2 slots. Not a great drafting strategy, if you ask me. The Wookies regained their composure and took DL Jason Taylor who knows all of the defensive schemes from last year. The Coroners took another Raider free agent pick up in Trace Armstrong who can rush the QB. The Devils did a strange thing by taking their second straight tight end in the always potential laden Freddie Jones. This may be his year! The Envy also continued a pattern by taking another 2000 Envy draft pick, Peter Warrick. It's sad how bad the Bengals' QB situation is that they can make Warrick almost have no value. The Einar went back to his losing ways with the pick of Darren Sharper. He had a fluke season last year and is sure to pull his groin this year. With all of the home run hitters he needs, Randy Chambers took Wayne Chrebet as the possession guy. Finally, George Michael took Travis Henry. Michael said, "Travis Henry is going to coming out of the Bills' morass and kick some more ass. That name again is Travis Henry." Of course, the first line was much to clever to be written by Michael and is being attributed to Wally Bruckner.

Round 8 started much like Round 7 with the 44's taking another former number crunching LB Zach Thomas. He should rebound with zest in 2001. If Donovan is going to have a go-to receiver, it may well be James Thrash. Therefore, the picking of Thrash by the Brents was a good selection. Most experts consider Terry Allen washed up, but he is in a good offense and if he can stay healthy, he may be a good back up for the Cookies. La'Roi Glover was outstanding last year, so his selection by the Wookies makes sense - even though they had just selected Jason Taylor. Maybe two defensive linemen, like heads, are better than one. Of course, Greg Biekert leapt across the bay from San Francisco to be with Coroners. He said he would play for Chad Nuss for free. Brad Johnson should compete with Elvis Grbec for the starting honors in Walnut Creek. Although Travis Taylor got hurt last year, he showed some flashes of brilliance with the Bears. He might even make the Envy starting lineup. David Akers should man the Loser's kicking spot ably. The Bears showed their commitment to their 2000 squad by picking up the option on J.R. Redmond. He didn't do much last year but practice makes perfect. George Michael took K Jeff Wilkins. He enunciated clearly, "I will never forget when Jeff Wilkins, a kicker mind you, had a 22 point game. Jeff Wilkins?!? A kicker?!?"

Again, the 44's chose to go with a linebacker to start Round 9. The difference is that Ronald McKinnon might be on the way up instead of like Thomas and Seau on the way down. In any case, the 44's boast a nice quartet of backers who should get them plenty of tackles. The Brents started to fill their defense with Barry's little brother, Mike Minter. The Cookies made a nice pick with Frank Wycheck who is solid but unspectacular. The second former-Envy member went in a row as Jason Gildon, who scored 23 points in one game last year, made his way to the Wookies. The Coroners took their 7^th Raider in 9 rounds with LB William Thomas. Now that's dedication. The Devils tabbed Vinny Testaverde as another back up to Elvis and Brad. Could be some controversy there. The Envy jealously grabbed WR David Terrell who should be the next coming of Dennis McKinnon. Troy Vincent was glad to return to his Wisconsin roots as he was selected by the Einar. With J.R. Redmond in the fold, Randy Chambers took another second year back in Shaun Alexander. He didn't do much last season, but he knows the playbook. Finally, George Michael took beat up Marcus Robinson. He clearly stated, "Marcus Robinson will never answer the question, 'is you is or is you ain't? Marcus Robinson knows how to score the football.

The 44's run of linebackers ended as John Stoer brough Kevin Johnson home. Johnson has known no other existence than that of a 44 and this may be his break out year. LB Takeo Spikes was a big member of the Bears' defense last year and should have no problem leading the Brents D this year. The Cookies furthered ensured success at the tight end position with Bronco Dwayne Carswell. Isn't he still on the Miami Heat? The Wookies brought back the Lawyer with Milloy. The Coroners stopped the Raider madness with a nice pick of Ron Dayne. He didn't do much as a tub of goo rookie, but Dayne has become serious about football and quit eating so many Twinkees. Tim Biakabatuka might be good for the Devils for 3 or 4 games before he hurts himself. Jeremiah Trotter finishes the oreo sandwich of linebackers for Envy. With Urlacher in the middle flanked by Lewis and Trotter, it's easy to see why people in P-Miss are excited about D. Olindo has a great name, went to Syracuse and is now a Loser. Shawn Bryson might not sing as well as Peabo and he won't remind anyone of Thurman Thomas, but he will sit on the bench very well. George Michael upset Ronde Barber by not letting him go with his brother to the 44's. When asked what he was thinking by seperating the two, Michael said clearly, "Ronde and Tiki Barber are twins."

As we get into the hundreds, the important picks become decreasingly obvious. Teams that get surprises from any of the players picked from here on in should count themselves lucky. Matthew Hatchette should count himself lucky if he doesn't get axed. Har har har. Chad Brown fits the Mike Holmgren mold of linebacker - past his peak. The Patrick Jeffers experiment seems to have failed as his knee surgery did not return him to peak health yet. Mike Alstott is a guy that seems like he should score three TD's a game, but seems to fumble more than score. Jackie Harris?!? Yech. This former Packer is way past his glory days and could be taken to the glue farm any time. Now, the Devils pick of Martin Gramatica should be a very good one. It's clear Rob Oauoa is here to play. Skip Hicks should usurp the Bears starting job once James Allen gets hurt and could help the Envy. Chad Lewis was a pro bowl tight end last year and if he can learn enough from Brominski, he should help the Einar. Stephen Alexander continues a Bear run of 2000 Bears. His gritty experience should help the younger Cubs. Troy Brown was a Coroner last year, but as George Michael says, "Troy Brown can flat out run. Troy Brown will be quarterback Drew Bledsoe's go-to guy or I don't run the Sports Machine!"

Kevin Dyson could have come up big for the 44's but he was cut before posting time. Travis Prentice is the third member of the Bear running squad, but he heads to the Brents. Eh. Darnay Scott was also out last year, but he returns to the last name boys of the Cookies. Johnnie Morton looks destined to be a marginal player, but he'll be able to prove me wrong on the Wookies. The Coroners made a great pick with Jay "stands for Jewish" Fiedler. If Fiedler can beat out Cade McNown, he is sure to back up Garcia and Gannon strongly. Ray Buchanan always makes a team, as he did the Devils this year, but I am not sure. It must be his moxie. Anthony Thomas looks like a great pick for the Envy as he is sure to bust the ball into the endzone in the many Bear forays into the redzone. Mike Peterson is the first linebacker selected by the Einar, so his defense may be porous this year. Corey Moore was first cut by the Bills, then cut by the Bears. Darrell Jackson has an admirer in George Michael: "When I first launched the Sports Machine, I had Darrell Jackson in mind. Darrell Jackson can fly right into your living room."

This is a good round to select a kicker and Jason Elam has one of the strongest legs in the league. Bill Scroter is a wasted pick for the Brents. He is sure to drop as many passes as he catches and really shouldn't be in the NFL. Terry Glenn was suspended for the year for failing to pee in a cup and was a curious choice by the Cookies. Jermaine Lewis had an outstanding, surprising season a few years ago, but has disappeared since. Michael Pittman is a good back, but he will be gone for the first four games for using the drugs. Maybe he can go fishing with Darrell Russell. Charles Woodson will help Rob Oauoa root for his hometown Raiders. He's good. Tony Parrish makes his way to the Envy via draft day for the third year in a row. He's a hard hitter. Mo Lewis will team up with Mike Peterson to form quite a tandem in the Loser defense. Kyle Brady will be the blocking tight end for the Bears - lots of pass protection. George Michael says, "Jeff 'Snoopy" Graham is one of the best players in the NFL - and Jeff 'Snoopy' Graham is one of the nicest people you'll ever want to meet."

This late in the draft, Doug Flutie is a great pick for the 44's. He can teach Donovan a few veteran tricks and will spell him on the bye week. If only he would stop shilling 10-10-2-20 with that idiot Bradshaw. Colonel Frank Sanders is still hanging around the league and was decent last year. Bruce Smith used to be dominant but he is simply playing for the Danny paycheck. Gary Anderson is a fine kicker and is inside the dome to boot. Tony Richardson was the Bears leading rusher last year, but now he is a Coroner. Rob Oauoa makes another great late round pick with Deuce McAlister. Everyone knows Ricky Williams won't stay healthy and Deuce should be ready to go when that inevitably occurs. Jake Plummer isn't a bad late round QB flyer. Kevin Faulk was not overly impressive last year but might return a kick or two for the Einar. K Jason Hanson is inside a dome and has a good track record. George Michael says, "I have known Jeff George for a long time. A lot of people call Jeff George a punk, call Jeff George a team cancer, but the Jeff George I know would do anything to win - even be a punk or team cancer!"

Ye-ech! What a terrible way to start Round 15 - with a Packer. Bubba Franks was a waste as first round pick for Green Bay in 2000 and will show very little in 2001. I am sure he was with Cletidus Hunt smoking reefer, but he didn't get caught. Reggie Wayne might be the guy who fills the spot opposite Marvin, but he is already hurt - making him a Brent. Duane Starks plays on the best defense in football and is Cookie. QB Tim Couch was finally making strides in the right direction last year when he got hurt. He may get some starting time for the QB poor Wookies. Ike Hilliard has a funny name. Kris Brown will back up Martin for the Devils. Superstar Joe Nedney (a cousin to Superstar Al Levine) was destined to be the Envy kicker a long time ago. Joe the Toe has been known to hit from 70 yards in practice. Rob Burnett is yet another former Orangeman who will not be returning to the 44's immediately. He'll play with the Losers for awhile. Brett Conway is doubly damned - he has a terrible name and once played for the Packers. Poor guy. George Michael says, "The year is 1998. The place is Pittsburgh. A young man named Kordell Stewart assumes the slash position and Kordell Stewart plays great." That was a long time ago.

It's nice to see TeBucky Jones return to the 44's, despite being cut before game one. Curtis Conway was a difference maker for the Devils last year and it wouldn't surprise me if he was the best receiver for the Brents this year. John Mobley's best days are behind him - a perfect Cookie defensive player. I don't know who Reuben Droughns is. Oronde Gadsen seems to make Monday Night Football TD's so Al Michaels can call his name. Marvcus Patton can't decide if his name is Marv or Marcus. Joe Johnson - cut. Sammy Morris might come out of the morass as well. Victor Green played well at times last year. Desmond Clark gets a blank stare out of George Michael.

Simeon Rice might beef up the Tampa defensive line, but he's been cut. Santana Dotson is a waste of space. Michael Barrow - cut. Jermaine Fazande is a back up for a terrible running team. Brian Mitchell getting pick raises the ante on those Coroners-44's games - he's been cut. Marvin Jones hasn't been cut - yet. Ken Dilger - cut. Terrell Fletcher - went to Wisconsin - cut. Courtney Brown was a number one pick last year - not cut. George Michael on DL Darren Howard, "I cut you!"