TOP STORY: CUBISTS DEMOLISH SCORING RECORD, COOKIES
San Francisco Cubists 151 Weasilicious Good Cookies 82 Back in Week 3, the media warned Good Cookie owner Dan Weitz that running up the score week after week would result in bad karma. As usual, the media was right. Weitz and the Cookies had a front row seat at George Bracques Stadium as the Cubists smashed league records for points, touchdowns (11), and margin of victory (69). Although the Cookies received an outstanding 28 points from Marshall Faulk, only Emmitt Smith (10) and Ed McDaniel (10) joined Faulk in double figures and QB Brad Johnson (0) did not show up at all. Meanwhile, the Cubists received another strong game from Brian Griese (24 points), and Curtis Martin (28) led the offensive flex to 63 points. Tony Gonzalez (12) showed nobody likes Wesley Walls (3) how to play tight end, and Rodney Harrison (17) and the defense chipped in another 42. Unfortunately, injuries put a damper on the Cubists' record-breaking weekend. Jeff Wilkins kicked one extra point before hobbling off, and when Jimmy Smith bruised a knee on Monday night some questioned why he was even in the game with a 69-point lead. Said a solemn Cubists owner Jason Moore, "Obviously our first concern is to make sure Jimmy and Jeff get healthy. In the mean time, we have full confidence in Jason Elam and Eric Moulds to maintain a high level of performance." After the Cookies' third straight loss, Weitz held a closed-door locker room session "to clear the air."
Leapers 117 P-Miss Envy 91 Buoyed by the team's trade for Eddie George and Frank Wycheck, the Envy came out fired up. Steve McNair showed his approval with 16 stellar points, and George and Wycheck did not disappoint with 17 and 9 respectively. Unfortunately, other than Brian Urlacher (9) the defense did not show up at all. Tubby got shut out, and Tony Parrish happened to get blocked into Antonion Freeman a couple times, but that was it. Worse, they could not stop the Einar's aerial assault, as Warner (23) connected with Rod Smith (25) and Freeman (13) all day long. Once the Envy realized they only had to block Urlacher, they let Robert Smith run wild for 17 more points. Witnesses heard groans coming from Envy owner Perry Missner's luxury box. Said a jubilant Steve Olsen after the game, "With Kurt Warner running the offense, we can't lose!"
Walnut Creek Mountain Devils 77 Peaks Island Wookies 63 Coming off a nail-biting 70-70 win over the Envy, many suspected that Rob Oauau's Devils would come out flat for this important matchup with the second-place Wookies. The skeptics obviously underestimated the brilliance of Edgerrin James and the genius of Oauau. Taking a page out of Cubist owner Jason Moore's playbook, Ouaua started RB Warrick Dunn on his bye week, and Pete Stoyanovich despite the fact that he had been cut by the Chiefs. And making a clear statement to his old team, James ran, caught, and celebrated his way to 32 points. Steve Berleuin's nada was more than enough to outscore Bledsoe's -2. Jamal Anderson finally showed signs of life with 16 points, but the real bright spot for the Wookies was the "other" player acquired from the Envy, Ricky Williams (23). The other "other" player, the sheep-loving Bjornson, scored 1 point.
Bull City Bears 85 Syracuse 44's 64In a battle of stellar second-year quarterbacks, Daunte Culpepper won the battle and the war. Although Donovan McNabb led his squad with a gritty 18 points, he clearly missed last year's favorite target, Marvin Harrison. Harrison cast many longing glances toward the opposing sideline, and vowed not to set foot in the 44 endzone. But by repeatedly stepping out of bounds just short of the goal line, he set up scoring tosses to Travis Prentice and Tony Richardson. Said 44's owner John Stoer, "Travis freakin' Prentice?" When asked about the possibility of a trade to send Harrison back up north, Chambers chortled. "For what? Ray Lewis and some Buffalo wings? Now that my running game is back on track, I'm the miggedy-man."
County Coroners 93 Brentless Brents 82 The streaking Coroners continued their march toward the top of the standings with their third straight win, despite the presence of only three Raiders in the lineup. Surprise starter Jeff Garcia led the way with 30 points, ably assisted by Tyrone Wheatley and Sam Cowart with 13 apiece. For the Brents, it is never a good sign when Ken Dilger is their highest-scoring Colt. Dilger's impressive 12 was not enough when saddled with teammate Wilkins' -1 (ouch) and Mannings ho-hum 11. Ron Dayne, Joe Horn, Tim Dwight, and Junior Seau all scored in double figures, but it was not enough. Although Garcia's performance made the difference, Coroner owner Chad Nuss refused to commit to a starting QB for the next week's showdown against the Cubists.
Week 7 Previews This week, the Coroners become the latest team to try to knock off the Cubists, but history is not on their side: the Cubists have never lost in this hallowed rivalry. The Lambeau Leapers, the only team within 200 points of the Cubists, take their dynamic offense to Syracuse, where the unlucky 44's are in danger of falling into the cellar. The Wookies, infused by the potent Ricky Williams, try to take care of the slumping Cookies. Bull City journeys to Walnut Creek where Daunte Culpepper and Edgerrin James will square off. And in what is expected to be a taut defensive battle, the Envy and the Brents will duke it out.
---------------------------Not exactly timely press---------------------------------------