TOP STORY: CUBISTS ONLY SCORE 80 POINTS, REMAIN UNDEFEATED
San Francisco Cubists 80 Syracuse 44's 64 Owner Jason Moore had been telling his team all week that there is no team more dangerous than a wounded team and the Syracuse 44's were nearly lame. In the opening weeks of the season the 44's had lost WR Michael Westbrook and the team was really from the news that RB Duce Staley would miss the rest of the year. Owner John Stoer decided to go with what he deemed "the kiddy corps." Mostly first and second year players who were light on experience but endowed with great enthusiasm for the game. The week's hype also included some verbal sparring about line ups. Moore had a number of players on the bye including his kicker, tight end and defensive star. He brought in Jason Elam and Ronald McKinnon to fill two of those roles but left his tight end slot open. Stoer was so put off by this move that he decided to go with the unconventional two tight end line up. He brought in David Moore to go with his young QB Shaun King and also had Ricky Dudley line up. It was absolutely crazy. Crazy enough, in fact, that it might lead the 44's to the stunning upset victory. Alas, invention doesn't always win out and the Cubists' superior product were able to play without a tight end only slightly worse than they did with one. QB Brian Griese continued his superlative play and had 3 TD's and 22 points while Stephen Davis and Charlie Garner each scored a TD and had 21 points between them. How did Elam and McKinnon do? Well, I'll tell you. Elam was a bust with just three PAT's. Personally, I think the Broncos should have kept Super Joe Nedney. McKinnon played well enough to keep his roster spot. He had 12 points. The 44's looked like a team that had just finished their first preseason game. There were so many new players and non-Orange alums that each play was a struggle. Nevertheless, Shuan King did score 12 points and James Stewart had 13. Ray Lewis led the team with his first good performance of the year with 17 points. Old Gary Anderson had 12. Stoer could only shake his head after the match and give major props to Moore. "He's got a good team so I might as well quit," he said.
Peaks Island Wookies 76 The Losers 53 As it turned out, this match turned out to be the battle for second place. The Wookies were on an all time high as far as morale goes because Peaks Island native Drew Bledsoe came home to play. Commenting on the trade, Owner Will Mitchell said, "The price was high for Drew and his friends but I think the product the fans see on the field will be vastly improved to what has been out there heretofore." The new recruits just nodded, but when it became game time they busted a move and played as they had never played before. Bledsoe had a nice game with 15 points. He connected with Tim Brown for two scores. Brown ended up with a new high 23 points. Ricky Williams, also a new Wookie, had a nice game as well with 17 points and Eric "I Never Met a Sheep I Didn't Care for Deeply" Bjornson scored his first TD in weeks and ended up with 7 points. The team did receive some off performances from Jamal Anderson, Crowell, Carney and Rainer, but they weren't lousy enough to offset the nice plays. Steve "The Einar" Olson had been dreading this week because his team was without its big guns, Kurt Warner and Isaac "Nutty" Bruce who were on the bye. Without them, the team looked punchless and scored a season low 53 points. Fred Taylor did have a breakout game with 10 points and Freekman led the team with 13. QB Chris Chandler was awful and ended up with
-2. The Einar promised never to lose again as long as he has his buddies Warner and Bruce.
Walnut Creek Mountain Devils 70 P-Miss Envy 70 While this game certainly had the looks of an ugly one before the match up, the two teams played better than they had in weeks and this game will have to be given some consideration for game of the year (with no championship implications). Once again it was a new look for the Envy as they hit the trading winds again. One could call their line up Titanic but it certainly didn't sink. Steve "Pear" McNair enjoyed a fairly decent day with 8 points but his best moves were to hand off to new Envy RB Eddie George who had a fantastic 17 points. Actually, his 17 points were the same as his predecessor Ricky Williams, but we won't get into that. Brian Urlacher continued to look like the next Mike Singletary as he was all over the field and scored 13 points. He is now the second rated linebacker in all the land. Michael Pittman, a game time decision, played well with 100 yards and 7 points. By the end of Sunday, the Envy had forged a 18 point lead over the reeling Mountain Devils. Owner Perry Missner said, "Cha-ching, you can count this one for win #3 of the season." But he spoke a bit too soon. Former Envyman, Steve Beuerlein surprised Missner with 15 points and two TD's, but the key throw was to Johnny Morton on a fade route that helped beat the sucky Packers. Curtis Conway refrained from playing against his former owner and didn't helpt the Devils. In fact, he hasn't helped the Devils in weeks, but we appreciate Owner Rob Ouaou trotting him out there week after week. Yes, any Chargers will do. Ouaou had reason to feel confident going into the Monday night game because although he was down 18 points, that was exactly the amount his three Monday players averaged. Surely, either Warrick Dunn or Cris Carter would grab a TD. Neither did but they combined for 7 points. LB Derrick Brooks had been averaging 9 points a game and he just bumped that up by two points. With their three TD's the Devils took the win and ended a 4 week losing streak. Ouaou said, "I haven't been this excited since the Rick Rockwell-Darva Conger show!"
County Coroners 96 Bull City Bears 85 Strange things are happening in the County. Despite his all-Raider drafting policies, Owner Chad Nuss is starting to reform and play some non-Raiders. Nuss commented on his new strategy, "Raiders are important but if we add a dash of Steeler and a sprinkle of 49er, we may just have something that is edible and winnable." With QB Rich Gannon leading the way, the Coroners could be headed for the upper echelon of the league. Gannon has been good, really good. On Sunday, he scored 25 points on three TD's and the rare two point conversion. Tyrone Wheatley also had a running TD and scored 10 points. Jerome Bettis does seem to be shaking off the rust on the old bus as he rumbled and bumbled for a TD and 13 points. Jason Sehorn took the challenge of being against the league's best receiving corps and scored 14 points. All in all, the Coroners 96 points to lead all teams this week. Meanwhile, things are getting strained in Bull City. Owner Randy Chambers has always been known to be a bit high strung, but this high point total losses can not be helping his blood pressure. For the second straight week, the Bears scored enough points to beat all of the other teams in the league except for the team they were playing. In his post game press conference, Randy Chambers ranted and raved about how Cubist Owner Jason Moore had something to do with this. "He's riggin' the whole friggin' thing," said Chambers, "I don't know how but I will get to the bottom of this." The Bears did not play particularly well on Sunday. Ever steady Marvin Harrison had 16 points and one TD, but that was all of the end zone dances that the Bears would enjoy. Mike Vanderjaft had 10. The Bears were down by 40+ points going into Monday night but with the Culpepper-Moss connection in the house, even that great deficit was possible to overcome. Unfortunately, Culpepper and Moss just teased Chambers by scoring 32 points on 4 scores. What a shame!
Brentless Brents 59 Weasilicious Good Cookies 55 The pregame festivities reminded many of the many great wars between Oshkosh North and Oshkosh West High Schools. While no one remembers anyone from the West High teams, we all remember how Paul Penzenstadler use to run roughshod all over the West "Indians." Owner Dan Weitz even brought out tapes of Penzenstadler to get his team fired up, but the results were less than what were desired. The team just came out flat. The only Cookie who made into the endzone was not so Easy Ed McCafferty who scored twice and had 16 points. Ed was not so happy with his owner because Weitz had held him out against the grudge match vs. Einar's Losers, so he came out on fire against the Brents. Matt Stover also had an excellent game for the Cookies with 15 points on 5 field goals, but that was about it for the Cookies. The Brents were hardly better with Joe Horn getting the two TD's and 17 points. No one knows where that guy came from but he is certainly opening a few eyes. Pay the Man had a bad game. Although he did score a TD, he didn't manage any points due to his turnovers. Back ups QB Blake and Rob Johnson did have good games with a combined 31 points. Owner Steve Johnson was not at the game but he did phone in a post-game comment, "We won? Hot damn! We won!"
Week 7 Previews This week will feature a new member of the media, Mr. Jason Moore of the Cubists. He will be reporting without a bias on the following exciting match ups. His Cubists play the Cookies who should be on the rebound. The Cookies welcome back Marshall Faulk and will be aiming for some hits on the sidelines of back up QB Brent Farf. The Cubists are bringing Terrell Owens off the bench so he can bow on the Cookies' star. The second place Wookies take on the upstart Mountain Devils. The Devils are severely hampered by the bye since four of their Week 6 starters are out. The Wookies have a full complement of players and figure to dominate this matchup. We go old school for the Bears-44's matchup. It will be interesting to see what kind of performance Marvin Harrison has against his former Orange mates. One thing we will not see if much success on the ground as the runners involved are Travis Prentice, Fat Tony Richardson and Larry Centers. Yuck! The Losers welcome Warner and Bruce back to the line up and that should be enough to beat the last place Envy. The Titans had better score early and often if P-Miss is to have a chance in this one. Finally, we have the Coroners and Brents. The non-Raider influx continues in the County as it looks like Jeff Garcia and his gaudy #1 rating head to QB country. Payton Manning is still the man this week but he can only hand off to Ron Dayne, who has been a disappointment.
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