ROUND 1
1 Edgerrin James, Ind RB Walnut Creek Mountain Devils
2 Kurt Warner, StL QB Einar's Lambeau Leapers
3 Peyton Manning, Ind QB Big Bad Bretts
4 Stephen Davis, Was RB San Francisco Cubists
5 Marshall Faulk, StL RB MMMMM Them Ripon Cookies are Weaselicious
6 Sebastian Janikowski, Oak K County Coroners (Go Raiders!!!)
7 Steve McNair, Ten QB P-Miss Envy
8 Terrell Davis, Den RB Peaks Island Wookies
9 Marvin Harrison, Ind WR Bull City Bears
10 Donovan McNabb, Phi QB Syracuse 44's
Fittingly the 2000 Modano Mi Hermano Fantasy Football Draft got under way with Rob Ouaou's team. The bottom-dwelling Otters have become the edgier Mountain Devils and their first pick showed that they were more serious this year. Edgerrin James was unquestionably the best running back last year. A threat to run or receive for touchdowns, James is also in a high powered offense. Speaking of high-powered, the Einar made his debut with the #1 scorer from last year, QB Kurt Warner, last year's cinderella MVP. A solid pick. While Peyton Manning would have been a good pick for any other team, if you are going to name your team the Dumb, Sad Brents, it would seem that your first pick would be pre-determined. It is difficult to give Steve Johnson credit for the good pick, but Peyton should really have his own team not have to be on the Big, Dumb Brents. The Cubists hope to regain their ground advantage with hometown hero Stephen Davis. Dan Weitz made another solid pick with RB Marshall Faulk, last year's yardage leader. Chad Nuss, defying all common sense and his advisors, went with who the County's fans wanted. K Sebastian Janakowski is not lacking talent. He may have a peanut brain though. Nevertheless, a certain amount of odd respect must go to Nuss for sticking by his team (Go Raiders!!!), but one can only wonder if his team would be able to win a game this year. Perry Missner made his annual pick of Steve McNair - no surprises there. Will Mitchell looked to get his running game with Terrell Davis who should rebound from his injury-plagued 1999. The next pick surprised almost everyone. With Eddie George, one of the BC Bears usual stable, on the board, Randy Chambers went with top rated WR Marvin Harrison, a Syracuse alum. A cry of "Dill Weed!" was heard up and down the eastern seaboard. With the number one player on his board gone, John Stoer went for the mercurial Donovan McNabb. He has been handed the reigns of the team. Gulp.
ROUND 2
11 Michael Westbrook, Was WR Syracuse 44's
12 Randy Moss, Min WR Bull City Bears
13 Eddie George, Ten RB Peaks Island Wookies
14 Keyshawn Johnson, TB WR P-Miss Envy
15 Rich Gannon, Oak QB County Coroners (Go Raiders!!!)
16 Brad Johnson, Was QB MMMMM Them Ripon Cookies are Weaselicious
17 Brent Farf, GB QB San Francisco Cubists
18 Steve Beuerlein, Car QB Big Bad Bretts
19 Fred Taylor, Jac RB Einar's Lambeau Leapers
20 Drew Bledsoe, NE QB Walnut Creek Mountain Devils
Since Donovan needs someone to throw to, Stoer next went with Michael Westbrook. This was a bit of a surprise since WR Randy Moss was still in the green room. Chambers surprised everyone again by renegging on the verbal agreement he had made with George by taking Moss. Eddie George promised to do his damnedest to take the BC Bears out this season. He didn�t have to wait long for his new hat as Mitchell snapped him up. George and Terrell - a nice combo. Ever the loyalist, Missner went with Keyshawn Johnson who has played on the Missner team for two straight years. Hopefully he will continue to make terrible quarterbacks look half decent. Speaking of loyalty, Nuss continued his Raider bent with QB Rich Gannon. He had a terrific season last year but some people were calling it a career year. He should have a cadre of Raider receivers to throw to if Nuss�s mind can be read. Weitz went with Redskins� QB Brad Johnson who should be good if he can stay healthy and learn to play for a Cowboy fan. Next, Moore made probably the biggest mistake of the entire draft. He has had solid drafts in the past, but by picking Brent Farf, it is clear that he is not that serious this season. Sure, he is busy but there is no reason to lower the proud Cubist franchise to hang all of its hopes on a hill-billy, inbred moron. It�s a shame. The saddest man in the building at that point was Steve Johnson who had thought that Farf would somehow drop to him. Let�s not forget that the tarnished Burnt was the first pick in the draft last year (another huge mistake, but don�t get me started). With Peyton in the fold, the Brents went with QB Steve Beuerlein. It is important to have two good QB�s but it seemed a bit early to take a back up. The Einar went with potential and Fred Taylor who is already nicked up, but could be a monster if healthy. Ouaou filled in the QB capably by taking Wookie favorite Drew Bledsoe.
ROUND 3
21 Ron Dayne, NYG RB Walnut Creek Mountain Devils
22 Isaac Bruce, StL WR Einar's Lambeau Leapers
23 Dorsey Levens, GB RB Big Bad Bretts
24 Jimmy Smith, Jac WR San Francisco Cubists
25 Emmitt Smith, Dal RB MMMMM Them Ripon Cookies are Weaselicious
26 Tyrone Wheatley, Oak RB County Coroners (Go Raiders!!!)
27 Curtis Enis, Chi RB P-Miss Envy
28 Jamal Anderson, Atl RB Peaks Island Wookies
29 Mark Brunell, Jac QB Bull City Bears
30 Duce Staley, Phi RB Syracuse 44's
Ouaou decided to take a bit of risk with the first pick of the third round. The Devils chose the first rookie, RB Ron Dayne. Dayne could turn into a TD machine in the redzone but that is if he can keep himself away from the buffet table. The Einar went the daily double route by taking QB Warner�s favorite target, Isaac Bruce. Three solid picks by the Einar?!? This seems inconsistent with his Packer leanings. He is obviously not a true Packer Butt Packer. Speaking of which, the Brents finally took a Packer in injured and not very good Dorsey Levens. Every year Levens disappoints and this year should be no different. At least Johnson didn�t take another QB. The Cubists wanted to make sure they had a top notch performer at each big offensive position so they went with Jimmy Smith. At the mention of this pick, the Midwest resounded with a cry of �Yes! Yes! Yes!� Dan Weitz�s favorite athlete would be in the Good Cookie fold as Emmitt Smith finally came home. He and Faulk should combine to evoke many good times with Smokers. Weitz has started the draft solidly. No one was surprised now when Nuss went with Raider RB Tyrone Wheatly although everyone will be surprised if he is still uninjured by Week 6. He is the Jeffrey Hammonds of football. Perhaps the most appropriate pick of the draft was made next by Missner. He took Curtis the P(Enis) who need not be envious of anyone. He should score many TD�s this year. Mitchell continued to try to emulate the famed three-headed monster of yore by taking Jamal Anderson. The Wookies now boast two of the original three heads with George being an apt replacement for Taylor. It is a formula that has brought championship gold before. Chambers took former Packer QB Mark Brunell. He is another candidate for the early injured list, but you didn�t hear that from me first. Stoer was surprised to see the top rated Duce Staley on the board. He should make a nice safety valve for Donovan.
ROUND 4
31 James Stewart, Det RB Syracuse 44's
32 Daunte Culpepper, Min QB Bull City Bears
33 Ricky Watters, Sea RB Peaks Island Wookies
34 Cris Carter, Min WR P-Miss Envy
35 Jevon Kearse, Ten DL County Coroners (Go Raiders!!!)
36 Marcus Robinson, Chi WR MMMMM Them Ripon Cookies are Weaselicious
37 Curtis Martin, NYJ RB San Francisco Cubists
38 Jeff Blake, NO QB Big Bad Bretts
39 Jon Kitna, Sea QB Einar's Lambeau Leapers
40 Derrick Brooks, TB LB Walnut Creek Mountain Devils
Stoer continued to be surprised to see Duce�s Chippie backfield mate James �Little Man� Stewart available. It will be a Chippie reunion. With Brunell being so brittle, it was a good idea for Chambers to take a back up QB, but some raised their eyebrows at untested Daunte Culpepper. He does have nice targets to throw to, however, so how bad can he be. Chambers just hopes he doesn�t have hear the name Bubby Brister much. Mitchell continued to take his emphasis on the ground game to a nearly ridiculous measure by taking his fourth RB, Ricky Watters. Missner then tabbed Cris Carter since all he does is catch TD�s. He should fit in. The Coroners, long known for their defensive prowess, took the first defensive player, Jevon Kearse. It surprised some on-lookers that Nuss did not take Howie Long. The Good Cookies continued their strong draft day with the excellent choice of WR Marcus Robinson. He should prove to be the game breaker that Weitz has always coveted. The Cubists made a solid pick in RB Curtis Martin because Lord knows that he doesn�t want Farf throwing the ball. The fake throw on the hand off should be enough. The Brents made a curious pick with their third QB in four rounds. Look, I am not saying that Jeff Blake doesn�t have a world of talent, but if you already have Manning and Beuerlein... Good luck to Johnson. Maybe Blake will become a slash-like player and qualify as a wideout as well. The Einar then made his possible first slip. Jon Kitna is a Holmgren disciple and that can only mean bad things. Good thing he won�t have to play him. Ouaou started to look at the other side of the ball for his next couple of picks. With the last pick in the fourth round, he took Derrick Brooks - a great linebacker.
ROUND 5
41 Olindo Mare, Mia K Walnut Creek Mountain Devils
42 Antonio Freeman, GB WR Einar's Lambeau Leapers
43 Rob Johnson, Buf QB Big Bad Bretts
44 Tony Gonzalez, KC TE San Francisco Cubists
45 Muhsin Muhammad, Car WR MMMMM Them Ripon Cookies are Weaselicious
46 Rickey Dudley, Oak TE County Coroners (Go Raiders!!!)
47 Ricky Williams, NO RB P-Miss Envy
48 Vinny Testaverde, NYJ QB Peaks Island Wookies
49 Cade McNown, Chi QB Bull City Bears
50 Kevin Johnson, Cle WR Syracuse 44's
Ouaou followed his pick of the ultimate Mountain Devil with the first kicker of the draft: Olindo Mare. Could that have been a Josh Wilk suggestion? Mare was the number one kicker last year and the Dolphins should have no more success getting the ball in the endzone this year. The Einar continued his downward trend with the pick of WR Antonio Freeman. Everyone knows this guy won�t do anything this year and if he does, it will be just dumb luck. Speaking of dumb, Johnson followed the horrendous Freeman pick with his 4th QB in 5 rounds. Uh, I think he has that position covered. The press wondered if he knew he can only play one QB at a time. Moore then took the first TE of the draft, Tony Gonzalez. He was awfully good last year but he was awful the year before. Due for an off year is Mooshy Muhammed. With the Patrick Jeffers experiment failed, Mooshy might be in trouble. The Coroners were ecstatic to get Raider TE Ricky Dudley. Go Raiders!!! The Envy was equally excited to get Ricky Williams who should rebound well after getting rid of the Ditka off his back. The Wookies finally filled their QB slot with come backer Vinny Testaverde. He was all that in 1998 but achilles tendons are not that easy to heal. The BC Bears continued to make enemies as they snuck QB Cade McNown. He should have a fine season but he has already made intimations that the Bull City climate might not be to his liking. The fifth round wrapped up with the 44's taking Donovan's favorite target from his days of Orange (besides Brominski). If Kevin Johnson can get past his hobbling hamstring problems, he should be a good pick.
ROUND 6
51 Ray Lewis, Bal LB Syracuse 44's
52 Mike Vanderjagt, Ind K Bull City Bears
53 Germane Crowell, Det WR Peaks Island Wookies
54 Peter Warrick, Cin WR P-Miss Envy
55 Charles Woodson, Oak DB County Coroners (Go Raiders!!!)
56 Wesley Walls, Car TE MMMMM Them Ripon Cookies are Weaselicious
57 Donnie Edwards, KC LB San Francisco Cubists
58 Mike Alstott, TB RB Big Bad Bretts
59 Joey Galloway, Dal WR Einar's Lambeau Leapers
60 Warrick Dunn, TB RB Walnut Creek Mountain Devils
In the sixth round, more teams started to look to the other side of the ball. The 44's made a killer pick with Baltimore LB Ray Lewis. He was easily the defensive player of the year last year and started the season with 7 straight double digit games. The Bears followed with a loyalty pick of last year's fine kicker Mike Vanderjagt: strong leg, domed stadium - should be a winner. The Wookies finally started on their receiving crew with the pick of Germane Crowell. He was good last season but with the Lions' QB problems, he is a question mark. Missner dipped into his bag of tricks and pulled out exciting rookie Peter Warrick. The man has moves. The Coroners took their first defender and it was no surprise - Raider Charles Woodson. The Cookies took their second straight Panther with TD machine TE Wesley Walls. He even garnered some MVP votes last year. The Cubists started their defensive assault with Chief LB Donnie Edwards. The Brents continued their downward spiral by picking Mr. Fumbler himself, Mike Alstink. It is clear which team is going to be the least media friendly this year. We can only hope that Johnson releases the poor Bears who are stuck on his squad. With his next pick, the Einar dumbfounded rival Weitz with the solid pick of WR Joey Galloway, also known as the Farf beater. He has speed to burn, but a Packer fan picking a Cowboy? The Mountain Devils completed the Tampa backfield by selecting Warrick Dunn. He had an offseason last year, but could be back in style.
ROUND 7
61 Napoleon Kaufman, Oak RB Walnut Creek Mountain Devils
62 Corey Dillon, Cin RB Einar's Lambeau Leapers
63 Tim Dwight, Atl WR Big Bad Bretts
64 Charlie Garner, SF RB San Francisco Cubists
65 Ed McCaffrey, Den WR MMMMM Them Ripon Cookies are Weaselicious
66 Plaxico Burress, Pit WR County Coroners (Go Raiders!!!)
67 Thomas Jones, Ari RB P-Miss Envy
68 Tim Brown, Oak WR Peaks Island Wookies
69 Brett Conway, Was K Bull City Bears
70 Champ Bailey, Was DB Syracuse 44's
The seventh round started with some contention. Ouaou selected Raider speedster Nappy Kaufman. Raider lover Chad Nuss hung up his draft phone and stormed over to the Mountain Devil war room. "I thought I had a tacit agreement with the rest of the league that all of the Raiders are mine," Nuss fumed. Ouaou just shrugged. The Einar made yet another solid pick with Bengal RB Corey Dillon. With his contract battle out of the way, he can once again lead the Bengals to a couple of wins. The Brents finally gave all of their QB's a target to throw to: Tim Dwight. He had a nice season last year but being buried in Atlanta might not help him. The Cubists selected their first hometown boy in Charlie Garner who graced the squad last year. Another returning player is Easy Ed McCafferty of the Good Cookies. Hopefully his play won't be affected by not being given horse steroids by his friend Bill Romanowski. With Kaufman being taken, Nuss's plan seem to be ruined entirely so he chose Steeler rookie WR Plaxico Burress. He was the first Coroner WR. The Envy continued mining for rookie gold with rookie RB Thomas Jones. He been compared by some to a young Emmitt Smith. More Coroner anger was incited when Mitchell tabbed Tim Brown as his next pick. Nuss stormed again and said, "Look, my team is going to be bad enough, why are you people doing this to me?" Mitchell just shrugged. Not wanting to have any problems in the kicking department, the Bears selected their second straight kicker: Redskin Brent Conway. Once a Brent always a Brent. The 44's finished the round with another Redskin, Champ Bailey. He returns to the 44's for his second year in the league.
ROUND 8
71 Qadry Ismail, Bal WR Syracuse 44's
72 Reggie Tongue, Sea DB Bull City Bears
73 Albert Connell, Was WR Peaks Island Wookies
74 Raghib Ismail, Dal WR P-Miss Envy
75 Bubba Franks, GB TE County Coroners (Go Raiders!!!)
76 Troy Aikman, Dal QB MMMMM Them Ripon Cookies are Weaselicious
77 Eric Moulds, Buf WR San Francisco Cubists
78 Todd Peterson, Sea K Big Bad Bretts
79 Shannon Sharpe, Bal TE Einar's Lambeau Leapers
80 Jeff George, Was QB Walnut Creek Mountain Devils
The 44's returned to their roots by picking the Missile, Qadry Ismail. He almost had a season's worth of action in one quarter last year. The Bears, who had a very soft defense last year, selected their first defensive player in Reggie Tongue. The Wookies continued to stock their receiving core with another good pick, Albert Connell. He had a nice year last year and the Redskin offense should provide him with plenty of opportunities to score. With the Missile off the table, the Envy went for his older, better brother, the Rocket - Raghib Ismail. He made some people forget about Michael Irvin last year (but not me). The Coroners decided to waste their 8th round pick by selected over-hyped and undertalented TE Bubba Franks. He will amount to nothing. The Good Cookies made the hometown fans happy with another Cowboy. QB Troy Aikman has never been a fantasy stud, but he has plenty of weapons this year and could challenge Brad Johnson for the starting slot. The Cubists made a nice 8th round pick with Eric Moulds. He did not play very well last year, but should rebound now that he is the man in Buffalo. The Brents addressed their kicking problem with indoor, Holmgrenite Todd Peterson. The Einar tabbed Shannon Sharpe as his TE. It could be a nice pick as Sharpe was easily the top tight end in the league before missing last year with an injury. The Mountain Devils continued their savvy play by picking the ultimate back up QB, Jeff George. He still thinks of himself as a starter.
ROUND 9
81 Elvis Grbac, KC QB Walnut Creek Mountain Devils
82 Jason Hanson, Det K Einar's Lambeau Leapers
83 Barry Minter, Chi LB Big Bad Bretts
84 Amani Toomer, NYG WR San Francisco Cubists
85 Torry Holt, StL WR MMMMM Them Ripon Cookies are Weaselicious
86 Victor Green, NYJ DB County Coroners (Go Raiders!!!)
87 Carl Pickens, Cin WR P-Miss Envy
88 Frank Wycheck, Ten TE Peaks Island Wookies
89 Jessie Armstead, NYG LB Bull City Bears
90 LaVar Arrington, Was LB Syracuse 44's
Elvis Grbec, the Devils 3rd QB, was surprisingly effective last year. He could provide some relief for the bye weeks. The Einar finally took a kicker. He took indoor stadium man Jason Hanson. He hasn't fulfilled his potential yet, but with the Sporting News picking the Lions for the Super Bowl, this might be his year. The Brents continued to disappoint everyone by picking two-year Missner player, Barry Minter. The Minter family starting bawling when the pick was announced and Minter said he plans to hold out until he is released to go where he chooses (probably the Envy camp who are leaving his locker open). The Cubists made another wise midround WR pick with Amani Toomer. He came on big time last year and from all accounts is having a great preseason. He could be something special. Speaking of special, Good Cookies WR Torry Holt might be that as well. He plays in an explosive offense and has oodles of skill. No one had anything to say about the Coroners' pick of Victor Green. He'll probably be cut for a Raider. The Envy made QB Steve "Pear" McNair happy with their pick of his new favorite target, Carl Pickens. Pickens, back in Tennessee where he played college ball, should be back in a big way. The Wookies shocked everyone by taking TE Frank Wycheck. Everyone assumed that as long as TE Ben Coates was able to walk he would be in the Wookie camp. The times they are a-changin'. The Bears continued to address their defensive needs with stalwart Jessie Armstead. And the 44's completed the round with rookie LB Lavar Arrington. If he can learn how to play a team game, he should be fine.
ROUND 10
91 Robert Griffith, Min DB Syracuse 44's
92 Greg Biekert, Oak LB Bull City Bears
93 Tony Brackens, Jac DL Peaks Island Wookies
94 Leroy Hoard, Min RB P-Miss Envy
95 Jerome Bettis, Pit RB County Coroners (Go Raiders!!!)
96 Az-Zahir Hakim, StL WR MMMMM Them Ripon Cookies are Weaselicious
97 Jeff Wilkins, StL K San Francisco Cubists
98 Terry Kirby, Cle RB Big Bad Bretts
99 Robert Smith, Min RB Einar's Lambeau Leapers
100 Mike Hollis, Jac K Walnut Creek Mountain Devils