TOP STORY: MOOSH-MANIA LEADS CHIPPIES INTO FIRST PLACE

Other Story: Monsoon Finally Get a Creditable Win, Knock Off Cubists

Allentown Chippies 83 The Losers 72 It has been a long hard road for the Chippies: from last season's lovable losers to midseason lapse to the top of the mountain. The team that has been brought about a couple of different shows throughout the season has been overcome by one of its own stars. The people of Allentown are going crazy with MooshMania. Star WR Mushin Muhammed has given the team a new attitude which some are calling Mooshosity. His wild popularity started from a one week stand in for Isaac Bruce in the Duce & Bruce show. It was clear that fans across the nation couldn't get enough of Moosh. Of course, there are Moosh t-shirts featuring the Slogan, "I'd Moosh for you" and Moosh dolls. Muhammed said that the most flattering thing was Hootie & the Blowfish changing their song to include him. "You got Moosh, yeah-yeah," sang Hootie. The only regret that Mushin seems to have was noted on his helmet in a stenciled "KC." The Moosh himself scored 9 points without making it into the endzone. Owner Aaron Jacoby who was seen after the game doing the new dance called "The Moosh" (Surprise!) said, "The best move I ever made was drafting this guy. He just makes everyone happy." QB Peyton Manning echoed his owners thoughts when he said, "Everything I throw out there, no matter how crappy, that guy catches. He's the Mooshiest." The other shows continued with Manning & his Little Man scoring 16 while Duce & Bruce scored 25 between them with a touchdown apiece. Even DB Todd Lyght got into the act with a rare defensive touchdown and 14 points. Sadly, MooshMania did not rub off on opposing owner Dan Weitz. His team scored over 70 points for the fourth straight week, but they have only been able to manage one win in that time. QB Jeff George continued his stellar play with three TD's and 19 points. He has moved into the top ten in QB's already as he is covering the number Eight spot. Amani Toomer scored the other Loser TD. The defense was led by Reggie Tongue's 12 points. Weitz seemed upset after the game despite all of the good points, "Christ," he said, "Easy Ed told me he was too hurt to play then he scores 14 and Ryan Wetnight's one point games are not exactly inspirational anymore [backup TE Dave Moore scored 10]. I need some damn Moosh."

Minneapolis Monsoon 84 San Francisco Cubists 73 The recent Monsoon winning streak has come under criticism around the league because the team has been unable to rack up the kind of scores usually associated with winners. The past two weeks the Monsoon won with scores just barely over 60. With the Cubists next on the schedule, the papers thought that the Minneapolis team might just be in trouble. The Cubist coaches have been trying to install a new fangled running attack that includes a full backfield. The results have been middlin' at best. They had won two out of their last three, but the runners were having trouble making reads and getting QB Brad Johnson's audibles. For the first three quarters of the game, the Cubists called one running play after another. The 4 Cubist runners kept diving into the line and getting nowhere. Monsoon LB Derrick Brooks seemed to be all over the field. He scored 18 points by making 14 tackles, forcing a fumble, recovering a fumble and defending a pass. The Cubist runners only scored 5 points a new low for a 4 runner set. Cecil Collins and Fred Taylor, who some call the key to the team, were both injured. Meanwhile, the Monsoon eschewed the running game they had lamely tried at in past weeks. This was the first week that the team's top three draft picks were on the field at the same time as WR Joey Galloway finally ended his hold out. With starting QB Troy Aikman out, Kent Graham had the opportunity to throw to three of the games top WR's. Randy Moss and Antonio Freeman both scored 13 points. Joey had a nice game in his first game back with 5. Owner Josh Wilk dubbed the three speedsters, "Los Tres Manos." It didn't make any sense to anyone in the locker room either. When Owner Josh Moore finally called off the running game, he let Cris Carter start calling the plays. Not surprisingly, Carter called his own number ever play. He ended up with three touchdowns and 27 points, but it wasn't enough. An angry Carter sent a message to the media to his owner by saying, "I need some help so hopefully Moore will have the grapefruits to play my boy Germane Crowell one of these days."

Bull City Bears 93 Cville Wookies 71 In recent weeks it has looked like the B.C. Bears were going to go the way of Matt Anderson, Harvey Danger and Derrick Coleman: great potential unfulfilled. They were like the headless horseman with QB Brent Farf chucking up interception after interception. There had been some trade rumors that would have Farf inflicting his damage on another team, but Owner Randy Chambers just couldn't pull the trigger on his #1 guy. Instead, he decided to use Farf's greatest play - the handoff. Chambers said, "It doesn't bother me at all if Brent wants to do those useless fake throw after he hands off, just no more interceptions." Farf was able to get enough throws in to get 2 Ints, but was more successful at handing off. Watching Farf in practice is seeming to rub the back ups the wrong way as Kordell Stewart only scored one point and Damon Huard scored -1. Bad habits rub off, I guess. The Bear offensive line created big holes for both top five runners Eddie George and Stephen Davis. Each scored 2 TD's and combined for a record (between two runners) 38 points. WR Michael Westbrook also set a team record (for starting wide receiver) with 16 points. The Bull City defense continued in its subpar way with only 13 points. The offensive outpouring kept the Cville Wookies out of their rightful share of first place. Team leader Drew Bledsoe looked like he had a Farf transfusion as he threw several early interceptions. He did rebound to score 10 points, but his team needed 40 points on Monday. It did receive 30 with Curtis Martin having a stellar game with 17 points. Once again Ben Coates did not score which fueled speculation that there are some problems between owner and tight end. Owner Will Mitchell said, "I don't know what he is doing out there but it sure ain't winning." Coates was unavailable for comment. The kicking and defense did help the Wookie cause much. Usually reliable kicker Pete Stoyanovich only scored 4 and the defense was neither Hasty or Hardy as it scored a season low 13 points.

St. Paul Panting Parishioners 59 Pear McNairs 45 The McNairs figured to have a tough time righting the ship that once looked invincible against the hot Parishioners. Neither team looked like it wanted to play as few early touchdowns were scored. Pear McNair was able to run into the endzone but only scored 8 points. The only Parishioner to get into the endzone before the Sunday evening game was Albert Connell who scored 9. Neither team figured to reach the 50 point mark at that pace. There were miserable performances on both sides. Leroy Hoard was neutralized with only a point and Corey Bradford ran poor routes and only scored 2 points. Meanwhile, Kevin Dyson only scored 2 points. The biggest boob of all was Mike Alstott who fumbled three times and scored -4. That is enough to drive any owner batty. When Sunday night arrived, the Parishioners put their best foot forward. QB Jon Kitna tossed two touchdowns and one was to fellow Parishioner Derrick Mayes. The pair totaled 22 points which was more than enough to win on this day. Yet the scrappy McNairs had one last chance on Monday night. They had a favorable matchup: Keyshawn "Damn Ball" Johnson against Girl Glenn. Johnson scored an early poochy TD and girl did nothing. In the second half, Johnson might have won the game for his team with a long TD catch, but the Parishioners had their secret agent, Richie Anderson in the game. Anderson managed to set an illegal pick to nullify Johnson's touchdown. That was enough to send anyone to bed and it did. In his postgame press conference Owner Steve Johnson could do nothing but smirk. He said, "This almost makes up for my crappy Packers getting beat by those darn Bears." In the other locker room Owner Perry Missner, who has watched his team go from a couple of games ahead to one game behind the lead said, "We need to do something drastic, something crazy, so I have decided to put the ultimate winner back into the lineup - QB Kurt Warner. We were undefeated with him in the lineup."

Syracuse 44's 78 Cambria Otters 65 There are few things that make an owner madder than having his trade offers rebuffed without a reply. For several weeks now, Owner John Stoer had been openly trying to pry WR and Orange alum Qadry Ismail off the Otters. He had sent fantastic trade packages which included superstars and cash. Otter Owner Don Oauoa just lent him a deaf ear, so the 44's decided to take out their frustration on the field. The 44's were able to make a deal before the game that brought in game breaker Marcus Robinson. Even though he was unfamiliar with the 44 tradition, Robinson opened up his new career in fine style with 16 points. Afterwards he said, "It is so nice to get away from that inbred hillbilly and have a QB who can actually throw the ball to me, not at me." For his part, rookie Donovan McNabb did quite well in his first start. He scored 8 points including 2 rare 2 point conversions. He was reunited with some friendly faces as well. Marvin Harrison led the team, as usual, with 2 TD's and 19 points. Not far behind was Kevin Johnson who was very happy to be out there with McNabb. He had 10 points. And for the first time this season, a 44 tight end made it into the endzone as Roland Williams rumbled in. That leaves the first place Chippies as the only team without a tight end score. Boy, those tight ends are important. Not to be lost in the shuffle was RB Jerome Bettis who did not go to Syracuse but had a nice 6 point day anyway. The only unhappy 44 was new player Jerry Rice who did not like the way his uniform fit him around the ankles. Get a life, Jerry! There were reasons for optimism in the Otter camp as well. While losing is not uncommon for the Otters, not being blown out is. Some people in Cambria consider a 13 point loss as a moral victory. The 65 points were the most scored by the Otters this season. Trent Dilfer had 13 points and David Sloan had 11. Even little Lawyer Milloy had 10 points. Sadly, Oauoa had taken the council of others as he put lousy RB LeShon Johnson in. He scored zero.

County Coroners 96 Key West Jerrytown Smokers 56 If last week's Smokers-Otters match up was the Toilet Bowl, then this game had some dubbing it "The Ambivalent Bowl." Throughout the week, it looked as if neither player would change their line up and an entire squad of either hurt of on the bye players would be scheduled for zeros. This was nothing new for the Smokers who had used this odd strategy for a win in week 9. It worked so well that Owner Don Cherry had changed his voice mail to say that he was on vacation but that you should leave a message as your call was very important to him. No one knew where he went on vacation but Keywest sports radio was concerned that the team would fall apart without any leadership at all. The team only fielded 7 uninjured players so 56 points isn't bad. Freddie Jones had his second straight 10 point week. Rocket Ismail caught a TD from Steve Beuerlein and they combined for 19. Marshall Faulk also had a pleasant game with 14 points. The Smoker defense only lined up one guy: top rated DL Greg Ellis, but he just wasn't enough. His two points were the low for a combined defense. No one is sure if Cherry will be back from his vacation for week 11. The Coroners were looking to be in the same sad state before Owner Chad Nuss burst through the door just minutes before game time. He quickly read, "Zeier - out, Lane - out, Price - out. Gannon, Wheatley, Jett - in, in, in!" His roster moves, while not well thought out, turned out to be golden. Rich Gannon led all scorers on the day with 31 points. Two of his TD dump offs were to Tyrone Wheatley who tallied 17 points. Sean Dawkins had another TD and 12 points. All in all, the Coroners flashed up 96 points equaling their Week 4 high score.

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