WEEK 7

 

TOP STORY:  Steaks showt hey are not dead meat, defeat Bears

 

Other Stories:  Steve Young breaks season record for points, leads 44’s to victory

 

Omaha Steaks 83  Bull City Bears 50  With the greens-keeping strike settled and a fresh, beautiful sod in place, the Steaks wanted to prove to their owner that the money spent on grass was well worth it.  The air and ground attack were in full effect as the Steaks dazzled their home fans led by Marino (12), Barry Sanders (14) and home town favorite Gary Brown (11) and stick fingered Marvin Harrison, who set a season record for points from the wide receiver position with 22.  Owner Josh Wilk was ecstatic about the play of Harrison but wanted to focus on rookie Donovin Darius’s 6 points.  “That’s an improvement from last week,” said a beaming Wilk, “and that’s all I can ask for.”  After the game, the Steaks announced that they had cut Robert Brooks in a move that can only be seen as progress.  The road team locker room was not a happy place to be after the game.  The religious babble spewed by the B.C. Bear players came to a head as none of the Champions of Christ played well at all.  “Where’s your Messiah now?” shouted an angry Randy Chambers whose team seemed to be headed in the right direction the past month.  Problems between the owner and a faction of do-gooders did not stop Faulk and Robert Edwards from scoring 12 points apiece.

 

Syracuse 44’s 77  Ripon Good Cookies, Part II 52  Steve Young continued his storybook season with a season high 35 points which included two running and two passing touchdowns.  This week, unlike last week, he got a good bit of help.  Recently acquired Robert Smith, who is on his third team, gave the 44’s 12 points, JJ stokes had 11 and Michael Barrow put in a nice 10 from the defensive side.  Enamored with his quarterback, John Stoer pronounced that he would convert to Mormonism if Young scores over 20 points every week this season.  Ryan Wetnight had no points.  Sources around the league said that Stoer had once again shown interest in rookie Ryan Leaf who actually did not score in negative points this week.  The Good Cookies, who many consider to be the surprise team of the season, were led by Corey Dillon with 12 points and Derrick Brooks with 11.  The Cookies were failed by a number of players of only scored 2 points and are not helped in matters by being the number one team in the league in fumbles given up – 20 – 6 more than the closest team.

 

UNC Duke Haters 54  BluePerry Pancakes 48  The boy wonder of the football league continued to be the pacesetter as Antonio Freeman (18 points) staked his team to an early lead on Thursday night and the rest of the team held on for a close win.  The Haters, who continue to lead the league in tackles (106, 21 more than the #2 team) were helped along by Eric Kramer’s 8 and Charles Way 7.  The Pancakes, who had hoped to knock of the league’s number one team, had brilliant performances from Randall Cunningham (17) and Al Del Greco (15) but were let down by both running and receiving crews who scored a measly 9 points combined.  In order to get the team’s effort up, the Pancakes announced that Chris Spielman was being brought to help with intensity every other Tuesday and Thursday.  Owner Perry Missner and star wide receiver Michael Irvin have been at odds all season long over what can only be called moral issues.  Missner vowed to bench Irvin next week.  Big words, seeing as he is by the bye.  Irvin said he would not be with the team because he  was heading down to St. Pete’s Beach, Florida to pursue “common interests” with Lawrence Taylor.

 

San Francisco Cubists 55  Key West Jerrytown Smokers 44  Unlike the Duke Haters, who charged out to a Thursday evening lead and held onto it, the Jerrytown Smokers put 22 points on the board but were unable to hold onto the lead.  Brent Farce overcame idiotic interceptions to throw a couple of meaningless touchdowns at the end of the game for 12 points and Jason Hanson kicked in 10.  The Smokers were not helped in their effort by their owner’s insistence to play Greg Hill.  The broken-legged running back does carry a gaudy 18 point per game average but hasn’t played in four weeks because of his condition.  Ray Buchanan touched his former team for 7 points.  The Cubists, the hottest team in the league with four straight wins, had a very balanced attack led by Kordell Stewart (7), Jamal Anderson (12), Cris Carter (11) and Tony Martin (11).  Michael Westbrook, touted by his owner as a comedian, said, “We really have 110%, uhm, out there and the team, you know, with the most points won, you know.”  That is pretty funny.

 

County Coroners 65  Allentown Chipmunks 24  In the Redskins-Eagles-esque battle of the Ex-Sega Hockey League, the Coroners invaded Alvin, Simon but definitely not Theodore Park and came out with a blow out win.  The ever consistent Natrone Means scored 11 points and Trent “Don’t Call me Brent” Dilfer and Gary Anderson both scored in double digits.  Did you realize that the Coroners lead the league in PAT’s?  It’s true.  The Chipmunks, who had showed sign of life in the past few weeks, returned to their early season weak play.  Only Drew Bledsoe’s Monday Night touchdown kept them from getting their claim on the season’s lowest total – which they tied.  Other than Bledsoe, the team’s highest scorer had 4 points.  P.U.  After the game, the Chipmunks announced that they had cut Raymont Harris in a move that can only be seen as progress.  Love to see those Packers get cut!

 

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