Awards

The votes are in and everyone is waiting with baited breath to see who
won the prestigious fantasy football awards.  Without further ado:

The Mark Pussier Trophy (for most disappointing player):  BluePerry
Pancake Running Back Jerome Bettis.  It seemed like an axle on the bus
was broken as Bettis only scored two TD's after generally high
expectations and a second round draft pick.  He received votes from
the Cubists, Bears and Haters and deservedly so.  Also receiving
attention in this category were Kordell Stewart (44's) for being a
baby.  Barry Sanders (Chipmunks) did not score very often either.
Brent Farve (Cookies) scored only on fluky plays and had nearly 30
turnovers.  While Al Del Greco (Pancakes) had a solid season on the
field, his nondisclosure of his former Packer status had his owner
completely disappointed.  And the wasted vote was submitted by the
Steaks, who pinned a nomination on Steve "Air" McNair despite the
Oiler QB scoring a TD in 14 out of 16 points.  Dammit, these things
must be taken seriously!

The Sneaky Pete Turgeon Trophy (for most surprising player):  Most
owners thought San Francisco Cubist Randy Moss would be a
nonproductive thug but he showed that there was more to catching balls
than bad teeth.  He led the wide receiving position in points and that
helped the Pancakes, Cookies and Haters vote for him.  The Cubist team
received many votes in this category as two heads of the monster
received praise:  Jamal Anderson (Chipmunks) and Fred Taylor (Bears).
The only other player to receive multiple mentions was Hater QB Vinny
Testaverde who surprised both the Steaks and Cubists by leading by
example not by words.  Garrison Hearst surprised the 44's by not
completely fading down the stretch.

The Eric Wunderkind Weinrich Trophy (Rookie of the Year):  Preseason
hype, along with a lot of 44 talk, had this award seemingly headed
toward QB Ryan Leaf.  Leaf had a few problems along the way as he
could not score enough touchdowns to make up for his numerous
interceptions and battles with the press.  Once again the Cubists
cleaned up as Michael Irvin wannabe, San Francisco Cubist WR Randy
Moss captured 5 votes (Pancakes, Steaks, Chipmunks, Cookies and
Haters).  Runner Fred Taylor picked up two other votes for his monster
season (Bears and 44's).  The Cubists, unable to tab one of their own
fine rookies, chose Bear Robert Edwards who started the season on fire
and cooled a bit toward the end.

The Don Sweeney Trophy (Best Defensive Player):  Despite having the
number one defense in the land, it appeared that the County Coroners
cold shoulder to the press all season long hurt them in the voting
booth.  No Coroners were mentioned in this category.  Omaha Steak DL
Chad Brown (called "the quintessential crazy man on the field" by the
Chipmunks) took home three votes (Chipmunks, Bears and Cubists) and
the award.  Rookie inspiration DB Donovan Darius led the Steak
resurrgence and was tabbed for the award by the Pancakes.  Dwayne
Washington's eye-popping 28 point performance was enough to convince
the 44's to vote for him.  Others receiving mention were Deion Sanders
(Cookies) and Junior Seau (Haters).  Believing that all of the best
defensive players were on his team, the Steaks abstained.  Funny his
team didn't win more often.

The Patrick La-La-La-Lafontaine Trophy (MVP):  There seemed to be an
early division in this race between the best running back and the best
quarterback.  In the end, San Francisco Cubist RB Terrell Davis,
leader of the three headed monster, took home the trophy and a $25
gift certificate to Denny's.  His 2000 yards and 20+ TD's helped him
to receive votes from the 44's, Bears and Steaks.  Syracuse 44 QB
Steve Young received two votes (Pancakes and Cubists) mainly due to
providing the points needed in nearly every 44 win.  When Young didn't
play well, his team lost.  More often than not, he did.  44 backup QB
Randall Cunningham received a vote (Chipmunks) for lofting the ball up
to Cubist WR Randy Moss (Haters), the only player to be mentioned in
three categories.  Less seriously, the Cookies tabbed RB Duce Staley
for his three touch down performance against the Pancakes, then his
zero performance against the Cookies.

And finally, the biggest award:

The Modano Mi Hermano Trophy (best owner/GM):  There was a great deal
of controversey surrounding this award in that owner Jason Moore
seemed to be so reluctant to trade any of his talent for a top shelf
QB and angered many of the other owners in the process.  Nevertheless,
his dominant season could not be overlooked by the Pancakes, Bears and
Steaks and he receives a free beating from Perry Missner.  The feel
good candidate was youngster Phil Stoer (Cubists and 44's) for
drafting an excellent line up and sticking with it.  Third place
finisher Randy Chambers received the Cookies vote and fourth place
finisher John Stoer received his brother's (Haters) vote in a show of
family solidarity.  It seemed that the lower echelon of owners wanted
to give each other confidence for next season as the Chipmunks voted
for Dan Weitz for "having the guts to pick up Peyton Manning and
actually play him" and being able to rid the league of DEAN; and the
Smokers chimed in for their only vote for Aaron Jacoby who "kept a
smile on his face despite enduring a horrendous season."

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