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Fresh Prince Of Bel Air

In West Chandigaar I was Born & Raised, In The Pendh House Is Where I Spent Most Of My Days. Chilling & Relaxing & Eating Some Roti, Chirpsin The Kuri's While Drinking Some Lassi. When A Couple Of Gundas Who Were Up To no Good, Started "Dusham! Dusham" In My Neighbourhood. They Made A Right Old Mess & My Pop's Got Scared "You're Moving To Your Masi's In Phagwara Instead!" I Whistled For A Rikshaw, It Came The Next Day, Told Him Where To Go & I Weren't Gonna Pay. I Knew I Smelt Something - It Was The Oil In His Hair, If Anything But I Thought "Bale! Bale! Bale!" I Pulled Up To A House About One Or Two, Got Out The Rikshaw & Stepped On to Some Poo. Looked At My Kingdom I Was Finally There, To Sit On My Manja & Breathe The Sweet Desi Air!!

Thanx to Sharan...

 

Show Me The Meaning of Being Lonely/Desi!

I'm a FOB just look at me I love maths or engineering And clothes that match dont interest me Baby ABCD is who I be I'm from Queens or New Jersey I talk kuthi and fight at all the parties Show me the meaning of being desi Fob or ABCD Indian but no we're not all the same And this is how we play the game My GPA is 4.0 How to party I dont know Baba says remember who Bete I'm Jagdip you can call me Pete I dont speak a single word of Punjabi I pretend to understan Hindi movies Show me the meaning of being desi We drink Limka or mango lassi Use phone cards to make our local calls Our last names have two syllables You know me I'm your Thiya you never understand a word I say I failed English but that OK, Baby Show me the meaning of being desi After we eat our hands are messy Who we are is now all becoming clear

 

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http://fun.tmc.dyn.ee/peeping.swf - The peeping game heavy...
http://fun.tmc.dyn.ee/stifler.swf - Stifler from American Pie

 

 

 

True facts about the 1500's ( These are not made up! LOL! )

Most people got married in June because they took their yearly bath in May and still smelled pretty good by June. However, they were starting to smell so brides carried a bouquet of flowers to hide the body odor. 

Baths consisted of a big tub filled with hot water. The man of the house had the privilege of the nice clean water, then all the other sons and men, then the women and finally the children-last of all the babies. By then the water was so dirty you could actually lose someone in it - hence the saying "Don't throw the baby out with the bath water." 

Houses had thatched roofs - thick straw - piled high, with no wood underneath. It was the only place for animals to get warm, so all the dogs, cats and other small animals (mice, bugs) lived in the roof. When it rained, it became slippery and sometimes the animals would slip and fall off the roof - hence the saying "It's raining cats and dogs." 

The floor was dirt. Only the wealthy had something other than dirt, hence the saying "dirt poor." The wealthy had slate floors that would get slippery in the winter when wet, so they spread thresh (straw) on the floor to help keep their footing. As the winter wore on, they kept adding more thresh until when you opened the door it would all start slipping outside. A piece of wood was placed in the entranceway - hence, a "thresh hold." 

In those old days, they cooked in the kitchen with a big kettle that always hung over the fire. Every day they lit the fire and added things to the pot. They ate mostly vegetables and did not get much meat. They would eat the stew for dinner, leaving leftovers in the pot to get cold overnight and then start over the next day. Sometimes the stew had food in it that had been there for quite a while - hence the rhyme, "peas porridge hot, peas porridge cold, peas porridge in the pot nine days old." 

Sometimes they could obtain pork, which made them feel quite special. When visitors came over, they would hang up their bacon to show off. It was a sign of wealth that a man "could bring home the bacon." They would cut off a little to share with guests and would all sit around and "chew the fat." 

Most people did not have pewter plates, but had trenchers, a piece of wood with the middle scooped out like a bowl. Often trenchers were made from stale bread which was so old and hard that they could be used for quite some time. Trenchers were never washed and a lot of times worms and mold got into the wood and old bread. After eating off wormy, moldy trenchers, one would get "trench mouth." 

Bread was divided according to status. 
Workers got the burnt bottom of the loaf, the family got the middle, and guests got the top, or "upper crust." 

Lead cups were used to drink ale or whiskey. 
The combination would sometimes knock them out for a couple of days. Someone walking along the 
road would take them for dead and prepare them for burial. They were laid out on the kitchen table for a couple of days and the family would gather around and eat and drink and wait and see if they would wake up - hence the custom of holding a "wake."

 

 

Yeah Robert...

 

 

I know you people want to know the answer to the ultimate question in the universe...

Why do girls do better than boys in exams?????

 

 

 

***lol***

 

I received this one in an email, I would say about half of it is funny, but some parts are just NOT... and make me feel as though an ABCD wrote the ones that aren't...

If more then 10 of these apply to you ,you are a true Punjabi Indian (more like a DP)

 

1. your name ends with deep, jeet,preet,or inder

2. you smell like thurka every time you leave the house

3. your parents think junior college is a disgrace

4. if your 25 and not married your a lost case

5. you always hear about your smart cousins in india

6. other indians stare at you

7. you were the worst dressed in elementary school

8. you and your friends dance in a circle at clubs

9. you own a leather jacket which you have worn one too many times

10. you act hard only in front of other indians

11. guys: you have earings, goetee,and a gold chain

12. girls: you have short hair and colored contacts

13. guys: you wear the same pair of jeans 3x a week

14. girls: you wear the same langa to every other party

15. you think the word desi is cool

16. your favorite food is anykind of sabji

17. you don't go to weddings: just receptions

18. you only have one nonindian friend

19. you think bhangra remix cds are off the hook especially if they have rap/hip hop in it

20. your parents say everything twice with the second word either starting with "sh" or having a "ooo" sound in it ,example: roti /shoti, cha /choo.

21.you like adthrik(ginger)

22.your favorite word is kiddhan(wassup)

23.if you sneeze before going somewhere your "screwed"

24.you can't wash your hair on thursday cause something will happen to your brother

25.you don't eat meat on tuesdays

26.when you were little your parents warned you that if you didn't listen "kala aju gha pher"

27.you have an uncle who wears running shoes with dress pants 

28.your ALWAYS looking for a discount

29.you know which way is "khabay" and which way is sajhay"

30.you clean your ears with your car keys(GROSS)

31.you have lots and lots of friends (in indian chat rooms only) (micky)

32.your scared of your mom's driving

33.your dad dances funny

34.you eat achar with everything

35.smell something, yeah cheap cologne and ladies imitation perfume

36.have to wait for an hour by the door while your parents say goodbye to their guests

37.always hear about how much "jameen" your folks own in india

38.drink cha 4 to 5 times daily

39.your parents always refer you to go to indian doctors and dentists

40.girls:wear a langa to the prom

41.always know the fashion trend a year and 1/2 later

42.use suave hair shampoo

43.leave the plastic on your mattress

44.use baby oil on your hair (including facial)

45.have a tissue box on the dinner table (and ure car)

46.your family saves yogurt containers to store other food in them(Like saag)

47.use plastic plates at a dinner party

48.always give a shagun when someone new comes to your house (usually 20 bucks or an Ugly pink suit)

49.have toothbrushes with jacked up bristles

50.drive a hooptie benz

51.save your receipts for anything

52.call your brother "phaji"

53.girls:like your pants to flood

54.dance at parties as though your on a bhangra team (bruahhh)

55.know all the words to songs played at recepetions (U know u do sunny)

56. have an enormous hindi dvd collection

57. have your ad in the matrimonial section in your local indian newspaper

 

 

This is another I received in an email, a bit better I think...

 

 

This letter has been written by an Indian who is still an Indian by
heart, hoping to make other Indians
and non Indians understand better.


I remember in March 1993, when the skyline of Bombay was almost blown
off with a series of bomb blasts- bombs went off at the Bombay Stock
Exchange building, Air India building, Musjid Bunder, a bus near Passport Office, a
building near Poonam Chambers, Plaza cinema hall at Dadar, Centaur Hotel Juhu and Sea Rock Hotel at Bandra to name a few. Thousands lost their lives, thousand others were wounded and the poor became poorer still. We all knew who had done it but were asked by the powerful nations to retrain ourselves and not come to conclusions so fast. To rise above the situation and carry on the teachings of our great leaders of the past like Gandhiji. And so, terrorist likes Dawood and Tiger Memon were allowed to escape to Pakistan and flourish. The world carried on and no one bothered.

A few years later Pakistan once again was at war with us. The Kargil
War will be remembered for many years by those Indians who lived with the
fear of not knowing what will happen next. Horror stories of any war are exactly what it says it is -horrifying! Once again we had great countries like the US telling us to work for peace and that quick fix solutions or an eye for an eye is not the right answer. When documents were produced stating that France continues to sell arms to Pakistan, no embargo, no sanctions but "good advice" was given. We were reminded that we were the world's largest Democracy and hence should be the big sister to a nation who in fact is a day older than us! December 1999, Christmas time, the whole world was celebrating the end of the century and the beginning to a new millennium, but many Indians were watching the news on television for any news on those near and dear ones who were hijacked and suffering in the "cold" land of Khandahar. No help from any nation. The world has no solutions for India! India once again fends for herself. She cries out to put a stop to terrorism that is
rampantly increasing in neighboring Pakistan but what did the great nations profess-show them the other cheek like Jesus Christ told us to do! When, out of desperation, India carried out the Pokhrain II nuclear test, the whole world condemned us, US sanctions were the first to be implemented. 

Pakistan was given as much support as required. India was firmly told to cool down!
India has time and again spoken up for terrorism. The same country which has for centuries been far ahead of the western world in its way of thinking - almost like  another who bears all the sufferings and yet is the first to forget and forgive
Isn't it ironical that the big bully who did not think twice before the Pearl Habour bombing, raced to wipe out Vietnam, eagerly instigated Israel, time and again
reminded their next generation that they should fight for justice turns
about face when it comes to their country?

America, the country who finds it difficult to swallow the same bitter
pill, the DEVELOPED NATION who had no clue of what was going to happen to
them on a Tuesday morning, who had no inkling of events to unfold- the same country who has all along just given us lip service got full support from India in its time of need, a country who has helped the US grow by letting the creme de la creme work in their country- India stood by a nation in its time of need. India,
you are a great country. You are indeed sare jaha se acha. I am proud to be an Indian. Are You?

 


YOURSELF DISCOVERED...

FROM THE FIRST LETTER OF YOUR NAME....

 

 

Does your name begin with: A?

U are not particularly romantic, but you are interested in action. You mean business. With you, what you see is what you get. You have no patience for flirting and can't be bothered with someone who is trying to be coy, cute, demure, and subtly enticing. You are an up-front person. You often don't get hints you never pass any. Brains turn you on. You must feel that your partner is intellectually stimulating; otherwise you will find it difficult to sustain the relationship. You require loving, cuddling, wining, and dining to know that you're being appreciated. Your mate's physical attractiveness is important for you. You tend to be very practical, not very emotional. Your choices are very good can only lead to trouble. You are very self satisfied &egoistic.

Does your name begin with: B?

You give off vibes of lazy sensuality. You enjoy being romanced, wined, and dined. You are very happy to receive gifts as an expression of the affection of your lover. You want to be pampered and know how to pamper your mate. You are private in your expression of endearments, and particular when it comes to love. You will hold off until everything meets with your approval. You can control your appetite feelings. You require new sensations and experiences. You are willing to experiment.

 Does your name begin with: C?

You are a very social individual, and it is important to you to have a relationship. You require closeness and togetherness. You want the object of your affection to be socially acceptable and good-looking. You see your lover as a friend and companion. You are very sensual, needing someone to appreciate and almost worship you. When this cannot be achieved, you have the ability to hold out on affection until you receive this. You are an expert at controlling your desires and doing without

Does your name begin with: D?

Once you get it into your head that you want someone, you move full steam ahead in your suit. You do not give up your quest easily. You are nurturing and caring. If someone has a problem, this turns you on. You are highly passionate, loyal, and intense in your involvement's, sometimes possessive and jealous. You are very sharp talented often with sense of humor. When people bother to look deep inside they cannot resist what they see. You are stimulated by the eccentric and unusual, having a free and open attitude. You get jealous of other people and lose your temper.

Does your name begin with: E?

Your greatest need is to talk. If your date is not a good listener, you have trouble relating. A person must be intellectually stimulating or you are not interested sexually. You need a friend for a lover and a companion. You hate disharmony and disruption, but you do enjoy a good argument once in a while-it seems to stir things up. You flirt a lot, for the challenge is more important. But once you give your heart away, you are uncompromisingly loyal. You will fall asleep with a good book. Sometimes, in fact, you prefer a good book to a lover.

Does your name begin with: F?

You are idealistic and romantic, putting your lover on a pedestal. You look for the very best mate you can find. You are a flirt, yet once committed, you are very loyal. You are sensuous and privately passionate. Publicly, you can be showy, extravagant, and gallant. You are a born romantic. Dramatic love scenes are a favorite fantasy past time. You can be a very generous lover.

Does your name begin with: G?

You are fastidious, seeking perfection within yourself and your lover. You respond to a lover who is your intellectual equal or superior, and one who can enhance your status. You are sensuous and know how to reach the peak of stimulation, because you work at it meticulously. You can be extremely active-never tiring out. Your duties and responsibilities take precedence over everything else. You may have difficulty getting emotionally close to people.

Does your name begin with: H?

You seek a mate who can enhance your zest for life, fun everything you seek for. You will be very generous to your lover once you have attained a commitment. You are very affectionate very strong. Your gifts are actually an investment in your partner. Before the commitment, though, you tend to be very careful with your every move and equally cautious in your involvements often, as you believe that you have to look out for yourself. You are a sensual and patient lover. You will hold off till everything meets your full approval. You are a perfectionist, hard to satisfy and strong in your beliefs. Not influential, you always stand your ground. People can always count on you to stand by them in a crisis. You are a dreamer with a passion for life.

 Does your name begin with: I?

You have a great need to be loved, appreciated...even worshiped. You enjoy luxury, sensuality, and pleasures of the flesh. You like necking spend hours just touching feeling exploring. You look for lovers who know what they are doing. You are not interested in an amateur, unless that amateur wants a tutor. You are fussy and exacting about having your desires satisfied. You are willing to experiment and try new modes of expression. You bore easily and thus require adventure and change. Your commitments don't last very long you often tend to stray. Loyalty is not one of your strong points. You are more sensual than sexual, but you are sometimes downright lustful.

Does your name begin with: J?

You are blessed with a great deal of physical energy. When used for a good cause there is nothing to stop you, except maybe that they aren't always used for the good. ( you could dance all night.) You respond to the thrill of the chase and the challenge of the mating game. You can carry on great romances in your head. At heart you are a roamer and need to set out on your own every so often. You will carry on long- distance relationships with ease. You are idealistic and need to believe in love. You have a need to be nurtured deep within.

Does your name begin with: K?

You are secretive, self-contained, and shy. You are very sexy, sensual, and passionate, but you do not let on to this. Only in intimate privacy will this part of your nature reveal itself. When it gets down to the nitty-gritty, you are an expert. You know all the little tricks of the trade, can play any role or any game, and take your love life very seriously. You don't fool around. You have the patience to wait for the right person to come along. You are very generous giving, often selfless. You are kind-natured sweet, which is found to be attractive by many. You are a good friend.

Does your name begin with: L?

You can be very romantic, attached to the glamour of love. Having a partner is of paramount importance to you. You are free in your expression of love and are willing to take chances, try new sexual experiences and partners, provided it's all in good taste. Brains turn you on. You must feel that your partner is intellectually stimulating, otherwise you will find it difficult to sustain the relationship. You require loving, cuddling, wining, and dining to know that you're being appreciated.

Does your name begin with: M

You may appear innocent, unassuming and shy but we know that appearances can lie. When it comes to sex, you are no novice but something of a skilled technician. You can easily go to extremes, though, running the gamut from insatiability to boredom with the whole idea of love. You can be highly critical of your mate, seeking perfection in both of you. It is not easy to find someone who can meet your standards. You have difficulty expressing emotions and drawing close to lovers. You are often selfish, thinking you are always right no matter what. You never give in. Winning is your prime desire- at any cost. You often forget friends and family and you live for the moment.

 Does your name begin with: N

You are emotional and intense. When involved in a relationship, you throw your entire being into it. Nothing stops you; there are no holds barred. You are all consuming and crave someone who is equally passionate and intense. You believe in total freedom. You are willing to try anything and everything. Your supply of energy is inexhaustible. You want to be pampered and know how to pamper your mate. You also enjoy mothering your mate. You often have the greatest love affairs all by yourself, in your head. You are very imaginative.

Does your name begin with: O?

You are very interested in fun activities yet secretive and shy about your desires. You can re-channel much of your energy into making money and/or seeking we. You can easily have extended periods of celibacy. You are a passionate, compassionate lover, requiring the same qualities from your mate. Love is serious business; thus you demand intensity, diversity and is willing to try anything or anyone. Sometimes your passions turn to possessiveness, which must be kept in check.

Does your name begin with: P?

You are very conscious of social proprieties. You wouldn't think of doing anything that might harm your image or reputation. Appearances count. Therefore, you require a good-looking partner. You also require an intelligent partner. Oddly enough, you may view your partner as your enemy...a good fight stimulates those vibes. You are relatively free of hang-ups. You are willing to experiment and try new ways of doing things. You are very social and sensual; you enjoy flirting and need a good deal of physical gratification.

Does your name begin with: Q?

You require constant activity and stimulation. You have tremendous physical energy. It is not easy for a partner to keep up with you. You are an enthusiastic lover and tend to be attracted to people because of their ethnic groups. You need romance, hearts and flowers, and conversation to turn you on and keep you going.

Does your name begin with: R?

You are a no-nonsense, action-oriented individual. You need someone who can keep pace with you and who is your intellectual equal-the smarter the better. You are turned on more quickly by a great mind than by a great body. However, physical attractiveness is not very important to you. You have to be proved to be worthy for a partner. You have a need to prove yourself the best. You want feedback on your performance. You are open, stimulating romantic.

Does your name begin with: S?

For you, it is pleasure before business. You can be romantically idealistic to a fault and is capable of much sensuality. But you never loose control of your emotions. Once you make the commitment you stick like glue. You could get jealous and possessive. You tend to be very selfish often regarding yourself as the only human being on the planet. You like being the center of attention. You are very caring, sensitive, private sometimes very passive. Turned on by soft lights, romantic thoughts. When it gets down to the nitty-gritty, you are an expert. You know all the little tricks of the trade, can play any role, or any game, and take your love life very seriously. You don't fool around. You have the patience to wait for the right person to come along. You are very generous giving, often selfless. You are kind nature sweet, which is found to be attractive by! many. You are a good friend.

Does your name begin with: T?

You are very sensitive, private sometimes very passive. You like someone who takes the lead. Music, soft lights romantic thoughts turn you on. You fantasize tend to fall in out of love soon. When in love you are romantic, idealistic, mushy extremely. You enjoy having your senses your feelings stimulated, titillated teased. You are a great flirt. You can make your relationships fit your dreams, all in your own head. Once you put your mind to something you manage to stand by it and see your dreams through. You aren't very good at expressing your feelings. You like things your own way. You do not like change; you like to hold on to things. This may not always be good because if given an opportunity things may develop into great things. You work your way to the top. Attention must be given to what others say because even though you don't want to hear it their advice! may turn out to save your life..

 Does your name begin with: U?

You are enthusiastic at you're happiest when in love. When not in love you're in love with love and always looking for someone to adore. You see romance as challenge. You are a roamer needs adventure, excitement freedom. You enjoy giving gifts looking good. You are willing to put others feelings above yours.

Does your name begin with: V?

You are individualistic you need freedom, space excitement. You wait till you know someone well before committing yourself. Knowing someone means psyching her/him out. You feel a need to get into his/her head to see what makes him tick. You are attracted to eccentric types. You believe that age is no barrier. You are good at responding to danger, fear suspense.

Does your name begin with: W?

You are very proud, determined refuses to take no for an answer when it come to love. Your ego is at stake all the time. You are romantic, idealistic, often in love with love itself, not seeing your partner for who she or he really is. You feel deeply about love tends to throw all of &your self into a relationship. Nothing is too good for your lover. You like playing love games.

Does your name begin with: X?

You need constant stimulation because you get bored quickly. You can handle more than 1 relationship at a time with ease. You can't shut off your mind. You can do 2 things at once. You are very talented.

Does your name begin with: Y?

You are sensual very independent. If you can't have it your way, you will forget the whole thing. You want to control your relationships, which doesn't work out too well. You respond to physical stimulation. However if you can make money you will give up the pleasures of the flesh for the moment. You have a need to prove yourself the best. You want feedback on your performance. You are open, stimulating romantic.

 Does your name begin with: Z?

 You are very romantic but show feels that to love means to suffer. You wind up serving your mate attracting people who have unusual trouble. You see yourself as a lover's savior.

 

- THE END -

 

 

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