Is Gay or Straight a Choice?
I've been thinking allot lately about choices. We all make them everyday. Some are very simple, such as what to wear to work or which streets to take to avoid traffic. Some are very serious, like, should I go to work or stay home with my sick child. But, simple or serious, choices require thought and consideration of consequences.
Many people will argue to the death that homosexuality is not a choice and that they are born with it and everyone should accept it. On the surface I agree. But if you dig a little deeper you realize that everyone has a choice about every aspect of his or her life. On the homosexuality issue the choice is 'should I follow my natural inclination to love someone of the same sex even though society will consider me different from the norm?' or 'should I fight my own nature and try to conform so I can receive the benefits of staying inside the lines of what is largely acceptable?'
Heterosexual people make equally difficult choices too. They have to think long and hard (or they should) about having children. Do they have enough time, energy and resources to provide a loving environment for the child? Is the relationship stable enough to withstand the stress a baby can bring? Do they live in (or can they move to) an area that is safe and has good schools? All kinds of decisions to make right? Yet, many people get pregnant and haven't made any choices and then need legislation and social help to make their lives easier and fair. They want the right to a safe and legal abortion. They want government money to help if they keep the child and cannot afford it. They want laws to tell husbands and fathers that they have to provide money for not only the children, but the wives as well.
They also make choices about personal conduct. Celebrities want as much attention and fame as they can get, yet, when they do something embarrassing or illegal they want the law to protect their privacy. There has been a news story running all summer about a woman who has disappeared in Washington, D.C. While I feel that the person who did her harm should be found and punished, what choices did she make that made discovering that she was gone and finding her so difficult? She entered into a relationship with a high profile, controlling, self-absorbed, married man. This man told her to be very secretive about her comings and going and not to carry any I.D. with her when she met with him. Therefore her family did not know right away that she was missing and they lost valuable search time. She didn't tell anyone specifics about the relationship so the family didn't know right away who ask questions about. But she made all these choices of her own free will. Yet our government wants to make rules about its member's sex lives to protect the interns in the event that their own choice causes them harm.
I'm sure I could go on and on but my point is--with all of these straight people wanting protection for their choices--if they think homosexuality is a choice then why would they fight against protection for our choice?
First lets see if the choice argument holds water. The science is in. There are provable physiological differences in gay and straight people, look it up. Think about it this way; if you have a set of identical twins and one likes broccoli and the other hates it you don't try and force broccoli on the one who doesn't like it. You just accept it. Now the anti-broccoli twin could eat a piece of the veg and pretend to like it but it wouldn't be the same as liking it would it? If we started firing people or beating them up or denying them housing for their dislike of broccoli there would be anti-broccoli protection laws on the books in a flash!
Lets also talk about the right for homosexual couples to marry. This one perplexes me most. Straight people become very passionate about this issue. They feel they must protect the Holy Sanction of Marriage. That sanction says that i can get drunk and walk into a chapel on the Las Vegas strip and marry a perfect stranger I just met at the craps table. I can meet some ninety-year-old man who can't remember who I am from one moment to the next and marry him and take his money. But I can't marry the person who has shared every aspect of my life, (physical, emotional and financial) for the past five years. I just don't get it. I can hear you now, "But the Bible says its wrong!" Right? Well the Bible also says that my father could have sold me into slavery, or, that if my neighbor plants two different crops side by side or touches the skin of a pig I can stone him to death. If you think those things are okay too then I'll buy your Bible argument. But if you're going to talk the talk you should walk the walk!
To all of you who say that gays and lesbians don't deserve the right to marry or the right to equal protection under the law because we made a choice to be this way I'll take a step in your direction and say you're right. I made a choice to live my life in a way that makes me happy, but I"ll bet you have too. I'll support your choices if you support mine. |
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