Respectfully,
please do not read this e-mail. I
would like you to
print it out (and Very Respectfully, please do not read the
print out)
and pass it on to my new best friend, Bill the esquire.
Dear
Bill, Esquire,
I
need some help here. David came
& took advantage
of my hospitality (drank all my barley-pop) & then
wrecked our
new slide-in camper with a slide-out.
Rather than admitting it
like a man, he blamed it on his “night
visitor/partner” (see below).
Obviously,
I cannot handle him by myself – after all, I am merely
a
GS & he is a former Warrant Officer among other things
(among many other
things, but I will tell you in person as I would
blush putting them in
writing.)
The
deal is this Bill, I will give you a contingency fee if 150% if
you can
finally put David in his place. Did
you notice that he now
wants custody of our slide-in camper with a slide-out?
He did
this to me once before. He
took custody of our top-of-the-line,
24’ Fleetwood Recreational Vehicle
(that was in A-ONE condition)
and used it, abused it, & then turned it
into a doghouse for cats
or a cathouse for dogs or something.
Bill,
now that you have the case (I know you won’t let me down) I highly suggest
that the first thing you do is locate David’s “night visitor/partner”
& figure out
what his name is. It
is unlikely that he has “deep pockets” if he is getting
“a little bit
carried away” with David but he would be a good witness.
Also,
my $15 Koi fish were missing from their fish-pen when David left.
Aw, never mind, David couldn’t catch a fish if it had a handle on it.
I
know this may end David’s & my 25-year acquaintanceship (he keeps
telling
everyone it is a friendship-YAH SURE) but I don’t care – go for the throat.
Regards,
Jim
DAVID
= I respectfully asked you not to read this!!!!!!
Jim says, "Honey, I got Dave this time. He ain't replied!"
Mendy says, "Good luck Bucko."