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GM Seskitim,
What are you still doing
around here? I mean seriously, weren’t you fired? Well
if you weren’t you certainly should have been. Your team
is in last place, and you’re sixteen games behind
seventh place MTL. Two weeks ago, my Raccoons whipped
you beyond repair and your roster is a joke. Basically,
if you aren’t out of a job, you damn well should be and
if you are out of a job, stop bothering me! And by
bothering me, I mean stop offering me ridiculously
unfair trades, stop pestering me about more Adventures
in Fantasy Land, stop criticizing said stories after
they are posted and stop ripping off material from my
web page for your site. I mean, if you didn’t like
Adventures part 2, why in the world did you completly
rebuild your site as an homage to the story?! Now before
I continue this rant allow me to be clear about one
thing, I don’t really mind you using names and ideas
that the Raccoon’s webmaster coined without offering due
credit, but there are a few things you should realize in
doing so. The only real problem is that you aren’t
nearly as clever as the VoodooChild. Technically
“Fantasy Land” is our intellectual property but we don’t
care if you use it without thanking us, or for that
matter that you use the picture of GM Bin Laden captured
by our spies at a FIFA game. What you need to realize
though, and this goes for all the GMs of the league,
that once you take from our page you immediately admit
that this page, as we all know, kicks ass. Moreover, by
admitting this, you are giving up the right to bash the
page or its owners in future posts. One can only imagine
the blatant hypocrisy and philosophical clusterfuck that
would come of making a page inspired by ours and then
using it to bash us (*cough* Porno Stars *cough*
*cough*). Anyhow, the point is you may keep your fantasy
land homepage if you please, we are truly proud that
your site has been transformed from a crappy “official
home of the Park Exers” to a crappy “unofficial
Nick "VoodooChild" Galanis fan club”.
Anyway, enough about your
page, let’s talk about your team. They suck! I’m sorry,
I shouldn’t be so blunt, but they really, really, suck,
and you know what I like about you Seskitim (other than
the ability to rest drinks on your
flat-low-to-the-ground head), you don’t seem to know it.
Despite what the standings and common sense have made
painstakingly obvious, you haven’t the slightest clue
your team is in fact the worst in the league. While
negotiating trades and trying to get me to give you
Bonds, Jeter and Glaus for lint you seem oblivious to
the fact that you need to make trades more than the rest
of us. Now I’m not saying you should give in to deals
that you consider unfair, that would certainly not help
your team, but please, when you make or turn down an
offer, don’t be so damned pretentious, your team is eons
behind the rest of us, you have no grounds for
confidence, you should be begging for our table scrapes
you little peon.
Bye,
GM KneeCo
P.S.
Only black people are proud of living in the ghetto. |
