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Recently
there has been a controversy among the Expos Baseball
League web ring regarding the stealing of ideas by
certain GMs. GM KneeCo had previously stated that he was
a little disappointed, albeit not surprised, by the now
infamous actions of the other GMs. Today, after further
looking into the issue of team webpages, he had this to
say:
Truth be told I’d never actually visited any of the
other sites until this morning, but I had hired a team
to check up on them periodically and give me the
essentials of what is happening around the league and
what the competition is up to. From what I’d heard, I
was not missing much at all really, so why did I look up
these pages over my usual coffee this morning? To help
my fellow GMs of course. A strong internet headquarters
can be a cornerstone of the fan community and team
spirit so it is important to do a better than average
job when putting together a page. Unfortunately it
seems, all the pages, except the Raccoons’ one of
course, are lacking in one way or another, so let me
once again be a savior to those inferior to me.
Before I get into the lesser qualities of the
competition’s homepages, of which there are many, let me
just say two things. First off, I was pleased to see
that my advice from last week was taken to heart by many
of you. GM Peter for instance was quick to acknowledge
the flaws I placed in evidence and changed the name of
his team. Kudos to you Peter, I am glad you are not
being cynical and accept the fact that I am wiser than
you. Secondly, I would like to say that effort does
count for something, and I do appreciate the effort put
in by all the GMs to make homepages, especially that of
GM Bin Laden who of course got this whole movement
underway. On that note, I would like to say to yankees,
still in lower case I might add, and MTL, still missing
in action, that I think it would be great if we could
complete and close the ring GM Bin Laden set out to
forge.
Then again, perhaps yankees and MTL have the right idea,
maybe we’re better off without half-assed sites like
some we’ve seen. Let’s look at the sites now, one by
one, in the order they were mercifully posted on the
net.
Pontiac
Pride:
Allow me to first reiterate the fact that GM Bin Laden
does deserve some of the recognition, or blame in some
cases, for all the sites. However, despite being first,
his site is not without its flaws, not by a long shot.
For one, the site is just plain ugly. There is stuff
everywhere and there is no order to any of it. It looks
as if a bigger, more organized site threw up. Also,
what’s up with all the sucking up to the other GMs?!
Every time any other GM says anything particularly
quasi-clever on his site, expect GM Bin Laden to jump up
and praise it immediately. This constant ass kissing
isn’t limited to the websites stuff either, it applies
to pretty much all editorial comments on other teams
other than clearly sarcastic ones. Stop being such a
pussy and assert yourself! Your team is called Pride,
how about you show some? Oh and regarding all the other
crap on your page where you praise your car or make fun
of your heritage, I think I speak for all the GMs when I
say that we don’t give a damn!!
Magnetic Boogaloo:
Zzzz…Zzzz…Zzzz… We appreciate the effort GM Costa,
really we do, but let me let you in on a little secret.
You ready? Fantasy baseball is supposed to be a game! No
really, this isn’t training camp to be a GM in the
majors or for that matter a professional HTML coder,
it’s just a little game where we can play and have fun.
Your logo may be cool, as brownnoser-Bin Laden was ever
so quick to point out, but the site is about as
interesting as MTL’s homepage (No Timmy, MTL does not
actually have a homepage, it’s a joke). We appreciate
the trade analysis, which is defiantly worth reading,
but would it kill you to make checking out your page
fun? Try and remember, it’s just a game! And another
thing, the roster! This doesn’t apply purely to Boogaloo
as all the teams have a roster on their site, but there
is so much work put into the Boogaloo roster that I
choose to address this point here. Why the rosters? We
know who you have on your team, why waste both our time
telling me again. I can understand posting a section
with a roster and pictures because of course it is such
an essential part of the game and I can understand
having the standing on the main page but I don’t
understand taking up half the space on a team’s homepage
to tell me who your players are and what they look like.
I don’t want to see that, baseball players are ugly! And
so is your site, change it.
Park
Exers:
At the very top of this page, we are attacked by an ugly
yellow and black banner over the white background
telling us that this is the OFFICIAL Park Exers site.
You know, as opposed to all the unofficial fan sites
that have been popping up around the net in support of
the last place fantasy baseball team. This page is
useless and ugly and basically consists of the GM trying
desperately to figure out desperately contrived excuses
to post pictures of either himself or ugly naked women.
And least we forget the Jerry park wall, God knows
Seskitim didn’t, this site is only one page yet I count
FIVE links to that picture! It’s kind of funny, but it
ain't that funny. And now the GM has found something new
to bombard us with, Sagres beer. As long as you’re
taking corporate help, here’s another “Sponcer” you
should consider getting: Proper spelling. At least the
link to the Raccoons’ site was finally fixed, definitely
useful since visitors will probably be looking to leave
your site as soon as they arrive.
Willis:
You ready GM Willis? I’m about to spend a minute talking
about your site, which is 59 seconds longer than you
spent making it. Or at least it looks that way. This
site needs a facelift more than any other. Quite simply,
there is nothing here worth looking out. I suppose GM
Willis only made this site to shut GM Coco Bin Laden up,
although Bin Laden probably said he loved it, but if
this is ever going to be a place worth visiting
something will certainly need to be added. As of right
now, this site hasn’t a single distinguishing
characteristic. At least GM Willis is aware of this
lacking and said quite honestly that the page is a "malakia".
Agreed Willis, and I know that’s the status quo for you,
but don’t you think you should at least try to do a
little better?
Porno
Stars:
Last and most certainly least is the Porno Stars
website. Visiting this site is by far the worst
experience I’ve had on the web since www.pornpalace.com
stole my credit card number. First thing on this site is
the roster! Great, moving on. Then on the left of this
site you’ve the “News Update” section made up of bad
jokes. Not GM Peter’s bad jokes, somebody else bad jokes
stolen from some other place on the net and then used in
someway that barely relates to the league. Other than
that, the page is useless, like all the other sites,
except the Raccoons’, Boogaloo’s and Pride’s, there is
no substance. But we can’t forget the "Smallville" crap,
and how could we? It takes up 50% of the space!! This is
by far the dumbest thing on any of the sites!! Yo Pete,
let me make explain something to you, just because its
called fantasy baseball does not give you license
to submit us to pictures and details of your pathetic
wet dreams regarding the female lead on "Clark Kent’s
Creek". I said it last week and I'll say it again: grow
up!
Well
that’s all for know gentlemen, as always remember that I
am not bashing you, I’m helping you. And if anything I
say offends you, keep in mind that I’m just pointing out
what’s already there, so don’t be mad at me, be mad at
yourselves.
Until next time, you’re welcome. |
