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GM Costa,
I write
this letter to my opponent for this week who is beating
me through some incredible stroke of luck. Not only is
Boogaloo clearly on steroids this week, they’ve
obviously put something in the Raccoons food as well
while we weren’t looking because this week we are
clearly not playing as well as we should be. I think
I’ll ask GM Bin Laden to look into the steroids angle
for us, we all know he has nothing better to do.
Back to
the GM at hand, leader of the Boogaloo, GM Costa. Costa,
you are easily the most pretentious of all the GMs in
the league. Why do you assume your views are worth a
damn? I mean, you waste your time writing trade analysis
reports criticizing transactions you are not involved in
as if you think your opinions matter. Why do you assume
any of us care what you think? We obviously feel our
trades work to our advantage, otherwise we wouldn’t have
made them. And I know what you’re thinking right about
now, why do I assume people care what I think when I
write these letters or other “games”? Well that’s easy,
first of all, I’m offering help, you are not. Second,
the Raccoons page at the very least doesn’t out the
reader to sleep. Finally, and most importantly, I’m
simply a lot smarter than you so I have the right to
offer my view. The trade analysis thing was cute at the
beginning, now it’s just condescending and boring, so
stop it. By the way, speaking of trades, how’s Griffey
treating you?
On top of
your page and attitude being the most pretentious, you
are probably the most boring GM in the league. You
really seem to have misunderstood the meaning of
"fantasy baseball", it’s a fun little competition, a
game, so stop taking it so damn seriously! Jesus man,
this is what we do for fun, enjoy it. You have this
notion that this is serious deal, that baseball and
everything associated to it is holy and should be
respected and it really takes the fun out of everything.
Admit it, you don’t see this as a game at all, you see
this as a competition for baseball IQ supremacy. It
kills you that you spend so much of your time engulfed
in baseball broadcasts and stats yet a barely casual fan
like myself can be a better fantasy GM than you, doesn’t
it? It eats you up inside knowing that I’m better at
this than you. My team is better, my website is
superior, and God knows I’m having much more fun. My
advice, take some starch out your collar Gore and loosen
up, I promise you’ll have a lot more fun and maybe even
play a little better.
"Snoogans",
GM KneeCo |
