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| This page is about the last day of my father's life. | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
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| Paul Michael Beitler 1956-2002 I Love You Dad!! |
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| On August 29, 2002 my life changed forever. At 11:00 that morning I got a message to call my step-dad at his house. When I did all he said was get some stuff and get here now. All I could say was why. Why do you want me to come down there?? His answer, your dad shot himself we are leaving for South Carolina. I said Ok, I'll be right there and hung up. Then it hit me, Oh My God, NO. This can't be happening, not now, not today, not my Dad. I paced back and forth saying nothing but NO. Finally I was able to get my thoughts together and get in the car and head home to get some clothes. I stopped at a few places and made some phone calls, but made it to my mom's house fast. I asked my Mom what happened and all she could say was "he shot himself, we don't know where and we don't know what condition he's in". I grabbed her phone and called my Grandmother in S.C. She knew nothing, not even what hospital they took him to. So, I called one of the hospitals that I knew of down there and got lucky. Well, then | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| again, maybe not so lucky. The voice on the other end said, "he shot himself in the head and he's not going to make it". I completely broke down and cried not knowing what to tell my family. When my sister heard me crying she knew it was bad, and she broke down. My Mom came out trying to get me to tell her what I found out, but I couldn't speak. When I finally composed myself enough to tell her she just sat there. I then had 10 hours of sitting in a van with nothing to do but think. Think about my dad and what was going on that he didn't tell anyone what made him come to this decision. Once we made it to the hospital I jumped out and ran as fast as I could inside and through the hospital not knowing exactly where I was going. It was a little after 1 a.m. when I walked into the room that they had him in. There sat my Grandmother in her wheelchair, next to his bed, holding his hand. On the other side of the bed sat my Uncle. He was uneasy, I could tell by the look on his face. I wasn't prepared to sit there looking at a man that I knew was my Dad, but looked nothing like him in the face. His head, surrounded with gauze and an ace wrap soaked in blood, was extremely swollen. His eyes, Thank God they were closed, were bulging out of his head from the pressure | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| on his brain, making his eyelids black and blue. At 5:31, on the morning of the 30th, he was pronounced clinically brain dead. I spent about 20 minutes by his bed talking to him. Just letting him know that it was ok, and that I loved him and always would. It was then time for me, being legal next of kin, to sign the organ donation papers. Later on that day came the paperwork for the cremation. I spent four days sleeping in his bed and wondering what would happen next. On September 7th we had the burial of his urn in Union Cemetary in Uhrichsville, Ohio. Then on the 8th we had a memorial for him at Dover Bible Church. I have had dreams about him, just seeing him laying in that hospital bed, time and time again. Then about a week ago I had a dream that made me feel better and messed with my head all at the same time. It was the first dream since his death that I saw him for him and not the empty shell that was in that bed. |
I'll never forget all the good times we had. There isn't a minute out of a day that I don't think of you. I will never foget you, or look down on you for what you did. I know that you did what you had to and I understand that. The only thing I can say is why didn't you at least talk to me about it first. I could have tried to help. You know I would have done anything for you and I still will. So if you need anything just let me know and I'll do it. I miss you so much. I just don't know what to do anymore. I long for the day that I can see you and talk to you again. I love you Dad, Always and Forever. Til I see you again. Love Always, Jay P.S. Come see me as much as you want. I'll never turn you away. I miss you and love you. |
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| My Info: | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| NAME: | Jay Beitler | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| EMAIL: | [email protected] | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| AIM SN: | bishopdragonsc | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| YAHOO: | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| bishopdragon82 | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
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