uggg i just want to type my problems away... i feel sad and mad and happy and angry and nothing makes sense cus my head is all jumbled up.. matthew good band is helping. heather's right this is a great cd... i just wanna write but i don't know what about!! aahhhhhhhhhh!!!!! garbled screaming and moaning. i feel sick i feel sick my eyes hurt whats wrong with me lately??? whats going on!!!!! and whats withthose stupid deranged pictures af my where you never see my head and im always missing parts of my body! what is going on???i feel so ignored i feel like another person i feel like im watching myself do stuff and its not me. especially when i speak i feel like its someone else talking and i want to scream! maybe it is another person talking and im just a puppet in the end. im just a puppet in the end.. like rene said me and deranged are tight, tight like menopause and fifty..i feel like i've typed so much but theres bearly anything on the page i can't concentrate anymore . exams are coming up and it feels like its not happenening i need to have some fun i need to do something fun and not my definition of fun because thats what im doing right now. this is what its all about..my definition of fun. my definition of fun is deranged....i wonder what this sounds like read aloud by the computer in the voice of a sheep. i am such a sheep i yell at myself for following people around like some little dog tied to a string! i hate them so much!! and why? what did they ever do to me? NOTHING!! FUCKING NOTHING!!! then why do you hate them? i dunno i just do i just want to kill them all and thats not a good enough reason. and i know it. i could fill up pages but i just can't type that fast or maybe its because i have nothing to say. i can only type fast when it coming out of my brain i could never be a secretary. surprizeingly i haven't made that many mistakes but now im starting to. i wish i could figure out whats going on inside this head of mine i wish i could understand these scrambled feelings you know i wish i could put them on paper and show the world record them and have people do projects and research on me "ok class today we're going to find out whats wrong with HER" maybe i'll put several of these on a disk and give it out to people for christmas. then they could take on the terrible burden of figuring me out. or they could throw the disk in the garbage. i feel so bad for lauren she thought she was doing so well. she deservers 80's . mr benedict is an asshole ASSHOLE HE SOULD GO TO HELL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!i hate him for what hes done to everyone! i hate my self for hateing everyone who never did anything to me. i want to kill myself for wanting to kill them but i won't. will i? won't i? shall i? shan't i? the gun it makes you look nicer in a bad way.caution explosive. i haven't heard running for home in a while. i type so weird. lalala. a boy and his machine gun i could never get that song it always screwed up.uu...(that can't be spoken)..its a good song. mmm werthers. is that even how you spell it? yup it is. that was a waste of space. i don't wanna move but i wanna get up. i am a lazy dumb fuck. this will be saved on the green disk because i have to use the other computer to make it speak. stupid usb device....green like barf.. i am so full of shit..fuck this