The Japanese Jalopies have arrived in gfwa OMEGA. They made their first appearance on last week�s global TV and it was quite embarrassing. El Tigre attempted to spill sewage on Bronx and Brooklyn but he tripped on Mysterious X�s foot and ended up getting himself disgustingly wet. Then a fight broke out between the two. Yes, they are the new tag team on the block but yet they seem to be bitter rivals. The stupid thing is�they are!
We catch up with Mysterious X and El Tigre at a marketplace in London. The place is full of activity. The two masked wrestlers walk around looking at the various fruits and vegetables. People in the marketplace wonder what is wrong with the two and decide to avoid them. Mysterious X is walking around with a bag full of tomatoes that he bought before we caught up with the duo. El Tigre walks up to a very attractive girl that is selling some produce. He could careless about the produce though. �Hello, lady!�, says El Tigre with a slight Mexican accent to the produce girl with a smile. �Would you like to buy some fresh apples?�
, inquires the girl in her cute English accent. �Of course I would.�, replies El Tigre. �I�ll buy just about anything from a beautiful face.� The girl blushes as El Tigre keeps on smiling. Mysterious X is disgusted with El Tigre�s actions and feels compelled to do something. But he decides against it because El Tigre is a moron and will never hit it off with the produce girl. The girl takes a basket of apples and places them in a plastic bag and hands the bag to El Tigre. He in return pays too much and really doesn�t want the change back. �I have never seen a mask quite like yours.�, says the girl. �Why do you hide your face?� �His parents made him wear a mask because he�s an ugly guy!�, jumps in Mysterious X. �I�m not ugly though. On the contrary. I wear a mask because I don�t want my friend here to feel different from society. He has a rare disease that horribly disfigures your face. Be careful around him because the disease can be transferred by getting to close!� �Don�t listen to him!�, yells El Tigre in anger. �What is the disease called?�, ask the girl with a sickened face. �They haven�t come up with an ugly name for it yet.�, replies X. �Either way, you don�t want it! Come, El Tigre, we have more things to buy.� El Tigre waves good-bye and he moves on with Mysterious X knowing that his chances with the beautiful produce girl are now gone. He does not quite understand why X did what he did but he figures that his partner was jealous. El Tigre is an idiot, though, and he thought he would surely marry the produce girl. �X, why did you do that back there?�, asks El Tigre. �I was going to marry that girl.� Mysterious X laughs like a madman because this always happens when El Tigre sees an attractive girl. El Tigre knows nothing of love or what women want. X did it because he doesn�t want his partner to be let down like all the women before have done to him. Mysterious X has a flashback from his past. You see through his eyes so his face is still unseen. There is this enchanting Japanese girl talking to him as they walk down the pier late at night. They are undoubtedly in a romantic relationship. They continue to walk to the end of the pier and stop to look out at the crashing waves. He gets a tap on his shoulder. He turns to see that there is a gang of 4 teenagers, possibly his age, standing behind him. They start to punch and kick him for no reason. One always holds him upright while the others take a punch. He begs for his girlfriend to run away but she doesn�t. She sits there and watches the whole thing with an evil grin on her face. He was set up by his teenage love! Then the leader of the group takes out a switchblade. He says something in Japanese. Then he raises the blade to X�s face and swiftly makes a cut across his cheek. He falls to the floor of the wooden pier. His eyes stay on his betraying girlfriend the whole time though. She says something in Japanese and kisses the leader of the gang passionately. Mysterious X comes back to reality when El Tigre breaks his concentration with the repeated question. �Why did you do it back there, X?�, interrupts El Tigre. �I had her won over!� �I did it to protect you, El Tigre.�, replies Mysterious X. �Women will get you no where in life. You�ll end up doing stupid things for their love but in the end they move on when they find the next attractive man. Besides, El Tigre, we do not have time for women! We have to win at global TV this week.� �Win? We�ve never won a match!�, exclaims El Tigre. Another fact about the strange tag team has been learned! It is true, the Japanese Jalopies have never won a match in their 4 years of being a tag team! That is quite pathetic and X knows it. El Tigre has gotten so used to the fact of losing that winning a match never comes across his mind. �We can win this time, El Tigre!�, shouts Mysterious X. �We have help from some classless Americans." �From what I hear Hal Stanton is a loser like us.�, says El Tigre still wondering how they are going to win. �Green will probably ditch us to attack Jolly Potter or Frostie. So that leaves 2 against 4! And we have bad luck! I don�t see how we can win! Face it�we suck." The Japanese Jalopies exit the market and cross the street. They stop at this ugly hippie van from the �60s. It�s got a gay looking rainbow and hippie flowers painted all over it. X takes out the keys and unlocks the back door. He slides the door open and throws the tomatoes in along with El Tigre�s apples. �Quiet, El Tigre!�, yells X. �We must have confidence that the problem will solve itself. Besides, our opponents are not very promising as well. Come now, we must prepare our surprise for global TV! I hear there is a store that is selling peas very cheap on the other side of town.� The Japanese Jalopies jump in the van and start it. It sputters a little and releases a cloud of exhaust as they drive off. They know that their odds are not in their favor come this global TV but they don�t care. Until next time.
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