| Gameshow: Do Rockstars Know Stuff? By Platinum Synthetic. |
| -In a brightly lit studio with only a few people in the whole building. Voiceover man: Welcome to the first and only edition of "Do Rockstars Know Stuff?" Here is your host and sometimes tour bus driver, Bob. Bob: Welcome, we have Paige Haley from Orgy, Wednesday 13 from the Murderdolls and some cleaning guy 'coz we lost our third contestant. Our first question is, How many states make up the USA? Wednesday: 666. Bob: Sorry, that is incorrect. Paige: 50. Bob: Correct. (-Ping, fake crowd clapping and cheering.-) Cleaning guy: Hey that's my mother! (He waves to a woman who is walking through the exit door holding a umbrella.) Bob: That's brilliant. Second question, What is H2O? Wednesday: Blood, no it's water. Bob: Sorry, you can't answer a question twice. Paige would you like to answer it? Paige: It's water. Bob: That is correct. (The fire alarm goes off. Everyone looks towards the back of the room where a tall man is trying to turn off the alarm without dropping his cigarette.) Paige: You're trying to ruin my chances of winning. (the tall man picks up the woman's umbrella and repeatly stabs the smoke alarm until the noise stops.) Bob: Where have you come from and who are you? (He asks the tall man.) Tall man: I've just come off the set of Failed Marriage. I played Richard who's wife left him 'coz he couldn't give her the three children she's always wanted. The she discovers that she was pregnant with triplets to Richard, who I, Jay Gordon played. When she tells him, he discovers that he's got a fatal brain tumor and only have a week to live. (He says overemphasising the words.) And Paige! I'm not trying to ruin anything for you. (He looks at the broken smoke alarm, passes the woman her umbrella back and sits back down.) Bob: So when's it being aired. Jay: Next year. Bob: Sounds good. Back to the questions. Multiple choice, What does a producer do? A- Clean up after the band. B- Get the band motivated to work. C- Gets yelled at or D- All of the above. Cleaning Guy: I know that! I know that! (He jumps up and down excitedly.) Bob: What is it then? (He crosses his arms.) Cleaning Guy: D, all of the above. Bob: Yes, maybe, technically, but I've been advised to not let you get any points. Would anyone else like to answer? Wednesday: No. Paige: No. (Shakes his head.) Jay: I'm a producer. I did Coal Chamber. Yes, I did, not Amir!! Me! (He waves his arms in the air.) Paige: What? Jay. (He pauses and glares at Jay.) I know that, but I don't know you today. You've been infected with Richard. Jay: Well I don't know you more! (He turns around and faces the wall.) Bob: (Interupting Jay and Paige.) The last question. Wednesday: The last one already, I only just got started. Bob: Sorry but too bad, I want to get a drink. The question is, Paige: I don't feel like answering any more of your... Jay: Stupidass questions. Paige: Correct, thanks Jay. You've lost Richard! (Jay smiles.) (Paige leaves the stage and walks up to Jay.) Cleaning Guy: You can't leave. He hasn't finished the questions. Wednesday: I'm leaving too. (He walks out the exit.) Cleaning Guy: Let me answer the question! Bob: Nah, I can't be bothered. I'll just go back to the bus and get a beer. (He walks towards the exit.) Cleaning Guy: But I want to answer the question! Bob and the Cleaning Guy's mother: SHUT UP! (Jay reaches up and turns the lights off.) Cleaning Guy: But I'm afraid of the dark. (He starts to cry.) Cleaning Guy's Mother: Can I go back with you Bob. Can I call you Bob? Bob: Yeah, whatever. (Everyone leaves the building leaving the cleaning guy alone in the dark.) ~THE END~ |