| Aliens by Platinum Synthetic |
| It was a dark and stormy night. Ryan was watching a alien documentary just before the power went off. "Hey! I was watching that!!" Ryan exclaimed as he sat looking around the dark room. He turned his watch light on and stumbled into the kitchen. "Torch, where are you Torch?" He said as he searched through a untidy draw. A loud bang came from the back yard. Ryan found the torch, turned it on and cautiously walked to the back of the house. When he reached the back door he looked outside. "Fuck!" Ryan whispered in surprise as he saw something standing on the back porch. Ryan opened the door slowly, keeping his eyes on this thing. He shone the torch onto it. "Hello." Said a errendescent green being. "Whoa!" Ryan said in surprise as he walked out to stand infront of the alien. "Are you alright?" The Alien asked. "I didn't think that aliens could speak." Ryan said, still quite surprised. "Yes, I can speak many human Earth languages." The Alien responded. "Well, hello, I'm Ryan." Ryan said unsure of what to do next. "I'm Shit Poo." The alien said as he extended his arm to shake Ryan's hand. "Shit Poo?" Ryan said in surprise and shone the torch light in the aliens face. "Yes, it means 'life given' on my planet." Shit Poo replied. "Ok." Ryan said nodding his head. "Ryan translates into toilet." Shit Poo stated. "That's great." Ryan said unenthusiastically as he took a few steps backwards. "No dont leave yet!" Shit Poo pleaded urgently. "Alright, I won't." Ryan said as he stepped forward. A lightning bolt hit something nearby. "Do you want to come inside?" Ryan asked the alien. "Yes thank you, Toilet." Shit Poo replied. "So what are you doing on Earth?" Ryan asked as he walked behind Shit Poo through the kitchen. "You've got something that belongs to my King and Queen." Shit Poo said as he sat down at Ryan's kitchen table. "What is it?" Ryan asked nervously. "Your brain." Shit Poo said seriously. "WHAT! No you can't have it. I've fucked it up anyway." Ryan responded as he stepped away from the alien. "You humans can't take a joke." Shit Poo said placing his hands on his head. "Maybe because that was not funny." Ryan said angrily. "I'm sorry. I need a full bar of soap, a silver spoon, one of your guitars and... your brain. Sorry." Shit Poo said laughing as he stood up. Ryan threw Shit Poo a bottle of liquid soap and a teaspoon. "Get the fuck out of my house!" Ryan demanded. Shit Poo picked up the items Ryan had thrown at him and walked to the back door. "I want something." Shit Poo said as he turned around at the door, to face Ryan. Shit Poo held his right hand up and with all of his six irredescent green fingers he pointed them towards Ryan. Ryan jumped out of the aliens view. Above Ryan's head floated a copy of Vapor Transmission. "It's a long drive home. I'll need something to listen to." Shit Poo said as he exited the house through the backdoor. Ryan looked at the backdoor and noticed a lot of lights changing colour. He saw Shit Poo sitting in a smail typical alien space craft. Shit Poo was pressing some buttons. Then he stopped and started to hover above the roof of Ryan's house. Ryan walked outside and watched. "Message from opticon, blasts from the fashion bomb, guess what you're out of time..." Blasted from the alien craft. Then the craft disappeared. Ryan waked back inside just as the house lights came back on. He closed the door behind him. The phone then started to ring. Ryan raced towards it to answer it. "Yes, Jay." Ryan said to the other person. He paused. "I just had a alien here too. He took my soap, a spoon and my copy of Vapor Transmission." Ryan said as he looked out his window. He paused again. "Yes, it wanted my brain too." Ryan said. He paused longer this time. "Shit Poo. What did you say was the name of your alien? No, don't worry it's too weird. I don't want to talk about a fucking alien that wanted my brain. I'll be at your house soon." Ryan said before he put the phone down. He grabbed his car keys and drove furiously to Jay's house. THE END! |
|