Sophie liked to talk about the eighties as she sipped her morning tea. “ Lovely years those eighties were, it ' s a shame they had to end. ” When her children lived at home they would roll their eyes at each other as Sophie went on about how the youth of the day didn ' t know how to have real fun. That seemed so long ago; Sophie didn ' t keep the time very well anymore, but she knew that she hadn ' t seen her children in ages.

In fact, she couldn ' t recall a single visit after the day they arrived with a huge van and 4 workmen to install her birthday present. "When was that?" Sophie vexed herself trying to remember. “ I was turning 65 that year, a real oldie hey? ” She said more to herself than to the cat that sat on the couch beside her. “ If I could only remember how old I am now, I would be able to figure out how long ago that was. ”

Sophie slowly got up and went over to the kitchen sink to look at the calendar that was pinned above the counter. Madonna ' s timeless youth was looking out in her glossy fullness. This inspired Sophie to turn on some music, so she went over to her brand new cassette player. She had almost purchased an 8-track, but held on to her record player a few more years before investing in a cassette player. Good thing. Sophie looked over at her cat, previously napping until the music burst out of the static worn speakers. Sophie smiled and mouthed the words to the cat who merely cocked his head to the side, “ I think we ' re alone now …”

Ever since her children had bought her that present, she began to feel years younger. After a short bout with Tiffany on the speakers, Sophie decided it best to get dressed to be ready for the rest of the day. She walked into her room and opened her closet doors. “ What choice! ” After shuffling the hangers a bit, she settled on a pair of pink tights with a large green and black sweater tied at the waist with a belt. “ Great! ”

Sophie went to her bathroom and combed her hair into a neat offset ponytail on the side of her head, held by a bright green ponytail. She backcombed her bangs into a glorious mountain of stiffness sprayed with as much hairspray and her hair could manage. “ Perfect!”

It wasn ' t until then that she really looked into the mirror. What she saw was a beautiful, young, unblemished face with a gleaming smile. If she looked lower, she could see her body was still voluptuous and tempting, especially her breasts. She had always been proud of those popping pretties. Not bad for an old biddy.

She went out to the living room and looked over at the life size photograph of Cindy Lauper on the wall. “ To be like her! ” Sophie lamented. “ Now there ' s a girl with style! ” Sophie sat down on the couch next to her cat and asked, “ Do you remember the eighties Bob? Those were the years weren ' t they? There was no fuss over these new fancy gadgets the kids have put around the place. No, you could wear outrageous colours and fashions, and never worry about anything. ”

As Sophie sat there in reverie, she was bolted upright by the sudden entrance of a middle-aged man and woman. “ Mother! ” the woman shouted, “ Get up now! ” Sophie looked blankly for a few moments before saying, “ Oh my! You haven ' t been to see me in ages! If you had called I could have prepared something. ” The man let out a heavy sigh as the daughter reminded Sophie that they had just been there the week before.

Sophie was thoroughly confused and even more so when she saw her son go over to the wall and open a small door that revealed a large switchboard. In a few minutes, the room seemed to melt, and everything that she knew to be familiar had dissolved into a simple barren room, painted green all over.

“ Mother, we warned you about staying in the eighties room too long, didn ' t we? ” The daughter scolded her as she led the old woman out the green door. She left Sophie alone to talk to her brother in the kitchen. The mother had thought to eavesdrop but didn ' t want to bother changing position. She wasn ' t quite sure what to think about the whole situation, but caught a glimpse of herself in the living room window. Could it really be her?

What she saw was an old woman. Grey hair, sprayed into a sloppy pile on her head, long sagging breasts that rolled over an ample stomach. Her stomach pushed out through the cotton weave of an ill-fitting green and black sweater and her flabby thighs rippled down through a pair of tight pink pants. The face she saw bore no youth. Instead, the crevices and brown patches made her look away in disgust. “ That is not me, ” she exclaimed.

The daughter asked what Sophie what she had said, but her mother ' s words were no longer coherent. “ Michael! We should have never bought her that room! ” He looked at his sister sideways, “ Don ' t worry, she ' s fine. Just getting a little old that ' s all. ” After some deliberation, they finally left, after making Sophie promise not to go back in the room.

Sophie, somewhat downcast, went to the kitchen to prepare herself a cup of tea when she suddenly thought of Bob. She crept back into the eighties room and cautiously made her way over to the switchboard and turned the room back on. Within a few minutes, everything was restored, and there was Bob, curled up on the couch. Sophie smiled as she saw Madonna ' s huge grin above the kitchen counter. The year read 1986. Sophie sat down on the couch next to Bob and said, “ I think we ' re alone now. ”