I went on vacation last week. College friends. The first morning I was there, I woke up before my hosts and made coffee. I pulled the coffee filter out of the machine and was incredulous that it was moldy and crusted. What kind of people make coffee so little that the grounds crust and mold between pots? Busy people maybe? Preoccupied people�
The brewing began and I got settled down to write in my journal and it hit me � there�ll be no half and half! So I jumped in my car and jogged it down to the supermarket. I felt like an interloper in that green tinted grocery store, wandering around in my pajamas with James Taylor playing on the P.A. and shivering so hard. Coffee cream, coffee cream, coffee cream. A tall, thin girl of about ten or eleven was pushing a cart behind her mother who was so obese she is confined to one of those scooter vehicles. The girl looked like she was in pain; she flashed her eyes at me as if to say, �Help!� I stood there and watched them pass and I thought, she�ll probably have an eating disorder in a year or two. I stood there and imagined this monster growing in her head like a cancer.
In the checkout line, an old man urged me ahead of him and called me doll. �Go ahead, doll.� I don�t know why but I get called that often. I am standing there in cotton little girl�s pajamas, a bruise on each knee, my hair a wild masterpiece of bed head, a pencil stuck behind my ear, smeared eyeliner and stinking like last night�s bar. I�m a doll!? I don�t get it. The night before the bartender kept pushing my money back into my hand and saying, �Keep it doll.� Either I�m really cute, or really pathetic. I don�t know.
When I got home, my hosts were still sleeping but the coffee was ready. I got settled down with a hot steamy mug of joe and the cats start running around me frantically. Clawing my chair. So, I reluctantly got up and started searching for cat food. I have such a big heart, feh!! I opened cupboard after cupboard; macaroni, tortilla chips, tea, candy, spaghetti sauce. No cat food. Wine glasses, juice glasses, cocktail glasses, water glasses. Each time I opened another cupboard door they sat and flicked their tails, looking at me through those half-opened lids saying, �No, not in that one. Keep looking.�
Finally the cats were fed, my coffee was still hot and I curled up with my journal � wonderful! Ahhh� just as soon as I started to write I heard this little squeak. Then a thump. Then I realized that my hosts were awake and that these progressively louder sounds I�m hearing is them. Fucking. I did everything to pretend I don�t hear it and to get some writing done, but it was too hard. I gave up and made toast. What a way to start a vacation! It's not as bad as it sounds though...perhaps. I was so happy to be away nothing could ruin it at that point. Well...almost nothing. But that's another journal entirely.
Day two was better.
