I found myself tonight on hands and knees scrubbing Pergo with a bucket of lemony cat piss (that�s ammonia for you folks who never changed a litter box) trying to keep my mind off what my mind is on. Court, pizza, body fat, money, sex, BMI, court, school, calisthenics, court, body fat, shin splints, sex, school, money, court, muffins, sex, sex, sex, sex and pizza. Nothing is working.
What do you do when it�s midnight and your brain won�t shut off? Why does the switch have to come in the form of frenetic exercise, a glass of wine and three Tylenol PM�s? Why do people wash their floors with a cleanser that smells like fragranced cat pee?
I had a pretty shitty day today. Assholes everywhere! However, I did get a most kick-ass gift in the mail from my good buddy Mical. I was thrilled with it, a very hip DYI interior decorating book. It is going to end up on the coffee table of my next apartment, which will be spectacularly adorned with the help of my new book.
I have noticed more often lately how easy it is to offend people and step on toes. I have a sort of brash, dry sense of humor and often people give me either a blank or mildly offended stare when I make jokes. I always feel like people who can�t laugh at themselves and the world are so limited. If someone asks me if I remembered to wipe my ass when I come out of the bathroom I think that is pretty goddamn funny. Sorry if you don�t. I won�t ask you next time.
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