Found two new Holy Cards today for my Carrie Closet. Eerily enough, I got a terrible, ugly rosary mailed to me anonymously also today. It�s totally hideous and not knowing where it came from gives me the creeps, but I think that makes it all the more appropriate. What I really need are some small religious statues, like a hollow, plastic, weeping Virgin Mary, preferably with ridges intact from the molding running down her face and frontside.
My evening has been dull, just like my day. I feel depressed lately. Like everyday is just a boring continuum of yesterday. Yesterday spent circling ads in the paper in my pajamas and making phone calls and dashing out madly to the post office at 4:45 pm to mail out a gob of resumes that I�ll probably never even get a call back on.
I get this sort of aching feeling when I think about my boyfriend. Emotional, sad, horny and longing all wrapped up into one headache. I miss him, and it fucking sucks. Bad. Valentine�s Day is going to be awful. Happy shmappy lovey people everywhere going out to dinner and giving each other flowers and my boy is going to be in Canada and I�m going to be here, picking through a crappy cardboard heart and squeezing the underside of the chocolates looking for one that isn�t florescent yellow or pink inside. Here, here, here. Valentine�s Day.
I thought I�d eat something tonight but I brushed my teeth and now I don�t want to. It�s just not worth it somehow. I thought I might have a beer but I�d probably throw it up along with the quarts of water I drank earlier and still haven�t peed out. I feel all sloshy and tired. Maybe I�ll have a beer anyway.
Who cares. I have Killian�s in the fridge.
I think I�ll go watch the Sopranos videos I rented today.
