Today, I auditioned for a new group called "Twist of Fate" - (No..they don't do Olivia Newton-John Covers...their a Metal Band) These guys had seen about 179 singers over the past year. They had quite a horror story to tell...

Only 60 of 179 so-called "singers", had even touched the microphone.

Only 10 of them could even sing.

One guy had called up saying that he could "nail" Geoff Tate's (of Queensryche) style down cold...he had sent a tape in the mail of him singing acapella.

Geoff Tate it wasn't. Not even close.

More like a really drunk Liam Gallager from Oasis... (Wait...Liam's always drunk--- let me revise...)

...A really Constipated-Drunk-and-WHINY Liam Gallagher with no sense of timing or tone.

Darryl (the guitarist) had called the other guys over in mock excitment...."Hey man, you gotta hear this guy...", then he played the tape. It was pretty hard to remain vertical listening to this guy whine...tunelessly out of key...I almost feel over laughing..."What is this a JOKE?"

Another guy that showed up was really a Geoff Tate clone...(actually it was the other way around, this guy sounded like Geoff on "Silent Lucidity" long before Geoff sang that way) but they weren't interested in someone who sounded just like someone else, so they passed.

They same fate befell an Lane Stayley (of Alice in Chains) doppelganger. He was good, but they weren't intereseted.

(Now...I didn't know most of this when I showed up, I just arrived and took my shot)

After basic introductions were done...the guys started into one of their songs.

WHEW... they rocked like Pantera, but I could hear a lot of different influences, Alice in Chains, some Dokken (the guitarist has lot of Lynch-like tendencies), some Ozzy (Zack era), some Megadeth...it was Kewl...so I join in on the Mike and start singing some ad-lib melodies...just making up stuff, something bluesy, soulful and heavy, out of the Eric Martin-Doug Pinnock school.

They finish the song...look at each other and say..."Your hired".

"Yeeee Haaaa"

They played some more songs..and they got better as they went along.

Yeah...bay-bee.

The saga continues...