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| WACKY CHARACTER GENERATOR |
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| Tsk. Us here at PLANET MORON have decided that you readers have a far too easy role in everything about this website. To even the balance, we request you take part in this exciting new project. Instead of us thinking up new characters with which to entertain you, the WACKY CHARACTER GENERATOR will help you think up a new one. Simply pick a number from each column, put them together and darn-it, you'll soon have a funky new friend at your fingertips! Er... you'll have to write an adventure for them yourselves, though... |
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| 1 Joseph 'Ugly' Gherkin 2 Michael Mickamockelmaka 3 Sister Primrose Cushion 4 Self-cleaning Susie 5 Jock Obvious-Secure- Scottish-Relations McHaggis 6 Phil 'the pill-head' Head 7 Johnny 'One of them's bound to be called Johnny - Cynical Reader' Smith 8 Helen the squealing dervish 9 Sarah, Sarah, Jane And Ada 10 Man-ball 11 Gilbert Git 12 Sybil, the lovable wobbly old lady, who defies the fat-age ratio... with style! 13 Stick-It-To-The Man 14 Lola Lix-Gently 15 My Nora 16 Andrew Larry Johnson 17 Aunt You-Glad-I-Didn't-Say-Grandma-Oh-Forget-It-That's-Nobody's-Gag 18 Little Bobby Bastard Child 19 Annie Stale 20 Tom Trite |
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| 1 Asphalt layer 2 Mirror inspector 3 Taxidermist-on-a-mission 4 Toast expert 5 Multi-purpose pervert 6 Astro-mower 7 Professional gimp 8 God (What? - Ed) 9 The one who makes that little sliver of plastic between the sides of a bag of wine gums, forcing you to hunt for the scissors 10 Free lancer 11 Farcical bicycle salesperson 12 Civil-surface 13 Duck Corrector 14 Corporate gypsy 15 Camp, flamboyant owner of hotel and motel 16 Lunatic - and more, besides! 17 Picklocker 18 Toploader (Erk. - Ed) 19 Ticket-To-Ride tout 20 General jobsworth |
| 1 "Boy, I'll take my slipper to your hide!" 2 "Oh, I suppose it's all my fault we're going to die in that lake of sulphuric acid I created... Oh." 3 "Look at the bollocks on that." 4 "Ow-do, squoire, ow'd you loike a drop of moi finest ale, arrr?" 5 "I CAN ASSURE YOU NOTHING IS GOING TO HAPPEN" 6 "Ah, so, I - right, I'll just, um..." 7 "If you sneeze just one more time, I will shoot. Consider this a formal warning." 8 "Welcome to the show / We hope you will not leave / If you so much as look away / You will lose both your knees" 9 "I deduce by the power of fact that the murderer is in this very room. It's me! Didn't see that one, did ya? Fools." 10 "Brody did it. (pause) He did! Are you calling me a liar? Look, he bloody well did!" 11 "Thanks for cleaning my car, kids!" 12 "Wow! A gold watch! There's probably a reward for finding it, which I'd gladly share with the person who helped me find it, but of course, I don't know who that was!" 13 (Contemplative silence) 14 "Watch how the river runs, poetically cascading over the rocks and BLOOD BLOOD BLOOD." 15 "Vroop!" 16 "Paean for the unloved." 17 "How much wood would ANDREW LARRY JOHNSON chuck, if ANDREW LARRY JOHNSON could chuck wood?" 18 "Andrew Larry Johnson here. I heard that, 17!" 19 "Verrrrrrrrrrrry nearly..." 20 "The whole width of the page, indeed... quite interesting..." |
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