| THE GAMES ROOM |
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| "We're having a BLOODY GROOVY time!" |
| Established PM9 |
| One of the two problems that Paul and Woodsey have is that they can't write games. If they could, they'd be incredibly wealthy and more intriguing to talk to. For entertainment, games have to be found on the net, ready to be linked to, in the usual manner. So here, for YOUR amusement are some of the games that HOURS of web-trawling have turned up. Some of them are great, some take ages to load, and pretty much all of them are in Java or Flash. If your server's compatible, then PLANET MORON wishes you FUN. The other problem Paul and Woodsey have is they can't write a short, coherent intro to save their lives. |
| 3D MAZE Why not get lost LIKE A PRO in this lucidly-coloured game which looks like it was made in 1990? It's amusing for a bit, and directions are included. 3D CARPET GOLF The graphics on this don't look much better, but it's an agreeable waste of time. AUTOCRAZY Move your car out of a car park. More interesting and less easy than it sounds. FIREFLIES Woodsey's favourite out of this bunch involves chasing fireflies into jars with nothing but your mouse cursor as a helpful guide. Addictive, in a way. COOL MOVIE ZILLIONAIRE There are loads of dull, out-of-date movie trivia games on the web, but this is original and actually enjoyable. You can even choose your own host SHOULD YOU FEEL THE NEED. THE SIMULATOR Live out your life as a McDonald's employee. Incredibly dull, you won't be back for more. Apologies. THE CORPORATE LADDER Stick it to the man! Go on! ALCHEMY Woodsey's sister's favourite game of the moment. The idea is simple - place runes on a grid where adjacent runes have to either match in shape or colour - but it's none too easy. Luckily the control method's user-friendly. SEVEN SEAS Unintentionally hilarious game where you have to out-sail some pirates. Watch as they crash into each other for your entertainment, ARRRRH-HARR-HARR! TRAFFIC 2000 YOU ARE the traffic light operator. By clicking on city intersections you change the lights as you attempt to get the cars out of the city. Otherwise, you can spend your time causing pile-ups in a protest against car pollution. This is funnier. SPARKY'S FUN HOUSE But awww, isn't he just adorable? Guide your hamster around a garish fun house that seems to have more than it's fair share of travelators. THE NEGOTIATOR Test your customer-service skills with Lola. Woodsey found this game to be surprisingly dark, which presumably means Paul will like it. PANDA ADVENTURE Cleanse your mind after talking to the psycho Lola by playing this cute, but short adventure as you 'try and solve the mystery of Panda Island'. Look, we don't write this stuff, okay? MAZE OF RAH Lumber your mummy around a tilting maze as you attempt to rebuild a pyramid by kicking it together. We kid you not. THINK TINT Ever wanted to play a green bunny on a pogo-stick as you climb a spiral of hexagons trying to avoid cracked tiles and a giant spider? Oh. HEAD OVER HEELS One of Woodsey's all-time favourite games makes the fuzzy transition from Spectrum to Amiga to Internet with none of the addictive gameplay lost en route. You play Head AND Heels as they make their way through the numerous puzzle rooms of Blacktooth... BUBBLE BEES And finally, the net's most relaxing game, officially (as a quick poll of Paul and Woodsey revealed). Catch the bees in the bubbles. Gaze at the sweet scenery. Drift away to the beautiful piano suite. Sweet dreams. |