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| PEOPLE TO BE SCARED OF |
| You may mock us, but this is serious business. Here at PTBSO, we feel the need to warn you of people that might be scary. Maybe it's due to physical appearance, or there might be something darker lurking underneath their perhaps nice exterior. Look out for these people, and burn them into your minds - remember: we're here to help. |
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| CHILDREN THAT ENJOY READING These you are to be particulary cautious of - their parents are either uncaring and arguing with social services, or teachers. These are children that think they're more intelligent because they've read Alice In Wonderland. |
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| THE UNDEAD Usually noticeable because of rotting or rotted (see left) flesh. Will probably eat you if you get too close. Stay away. |
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| HAPPY PEOPLE Constantly happy people are either seriously unhinged, stupid, or drunk. Whichever one of these, anyone with a permanent smile on their face is best left alone in their ignorance. |
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| HAT-WEARING PEOPLE These are just ordinary people. At least, it looks like it. But where is their hair? It's under a huge abominably stupid-looking fabric saucer on their head. People with hats have things to hide. Beware. |